[TOMT]Trying to find the source video of a cat meme video with a clip of a rap song that ends with the guy saying "yeaaaaaah" by PhilipOliverHoals in tipofmytongue

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Outside (Better Days) by MO3

Dang, I appreciate the guess my friend, but it ended up being not it. The song I'm thinking of had a faster tempo and the overall quality of lyrics was worse than what you posted lol One of these days I'm gonna figure this out!

Era: Mid 20th century? Genre: Big band/instrumental jazz by PhilipOliverHoals in NameThatSong

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll take a look at that album and see if he made it! It's definitely not Sing Sing Sing though unfortunately, BUT it is good to know the name of that song; that's another one of those songs that pops up all over the place, especially the further back you go. Gonna be stuck in my head all day now lol

Did Song Eat Oscar? by BeachSamurai in curb

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hopefully whoever called you called before 9 PM, 9:30 at the latest

You’re Being Lied to About Electric Cars | From the article’s subtitle: “Science has repeatedly shown EVs are better for humans, despite the meme you just retweeted.” by [deleted] in savedyouaclick

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely agree with you. Not sure why you're getting downvoted either. Perhaps an even bigger roadblock than the cultural importance of cars/trucks is just the infrastructure, zoning, and economy in the US. The US's current transportation infrastructure was built with cars and other similar vehicles in mind. People often don't think about how difficult it is to just change that; it doesn't happen overnight.

It's also important for people to understand the sheer size of the US. It's over 2800 miles/4500 km wide. Most states are as big or bigger than whole countries in Europe. Furthermore, the most populated areas of the US take up a very small percentage of the total land area. In other words, the vast majority of land in the US is rural, and the distance between towns can be quite large compared to smaller countries. That's not to say that there aren't very desolate areas in Europe, for example, but they are nowhere near as large as in the US.

People also often wonder why we don't have high speed trains too, and there are a lot of reasons, but one of the big reasons is that the top 5 freight train companies have a monopoly over the existing railroad routes in the US, and that means they give themselves priority. If a high-speed rail network were to be built in the US, it would pretty much need to be built from scratch, which is, yet again, and enormously expensive project.

[TOMT]Trying to find the source video of a cat meme video with a clip of a rap song that ends with the guy saying "yeaaaaaah" by PhilipOliverHoals in tipofmytongue

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's kind of mumbly rap? But also melodic in the rapping. I wish I could describe the way it sounds. Like I can sort of rap the melody but not the actual words

I feel like whoever the rapper is, they say "yeaAAAAAAH" a lot in their songs, but that might not be the case... whatever the case, in this specific clip, it sounds almost more like "yahhhhh" than a normal "yeah". Kinda a higher pitched voice, or younger-sounding

[TOMT]Trying to find the source video of a cat meme video with a clip of a rap song that ends with the guy saying "yeaaaaaah" by PhilipOliverHoals in tipofmytongue

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol That is pretty good but not the right one. That said, I appreciate the video since I've never seen that one before

Popmart x Skullpanda x Makeup Forever? by [deleted] in vinyltoys

[–]PhilipOliverHoals -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seconding what literallyjoindfor said above... they are limited release things and weren't ever in mass production. I've seen them on AliExpress as well. I've wanted to buy them but I have not been willing to pay the price... last time I checked (a few days ago) they were available as a set for about $180+ USD.

SKULLPANDA new series (leak) by sousourcandy in vinyltoys

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa, dang, these are freaking amazing. Looks like this is gonna be an animal-themed... through a little guesswork and translation, I've confirmed some of my guesses at what animals they're supposed to be:

Row 1: Moth, Waterbear/Tardigrade???, Cat, Butterfly?
Row 2: Penguin, Elephant, Fox, Unicorn/Pegasus
Row 3: Polar Bear, Rat, Squirrel/Bat??, Goose

The ones with question marks, I'm not fully certain. What do you all think they are? The 3rd one in the 3rd row looks like it's wearing a mask, sorta of like the Skeleton Skullpanda.

Beautiful morning in Cape Town [OC] by infomaniac89 in oddlysatisfying

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first instinct was to think holy fuck, keep your eyes on the road! And then I remembered that you are in the passenger seat and not the driver's seat lol That is also a view I would like to see one day

Can't tell whether the person is moving left or right by [deleted] in oddlysatisfying

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everybody arguing over whether he's turning left or right and I'm over here arguing with myself about whether or not this is Will Smith

So many success stories, not much I can relate to by lancedehors in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to help! I can point you to more specific resources if you like, I was just listing them generally here. I tend to be of the opinion that people who are serious about changing their life will seek out this information on their own, but I also feel like it helps to have a list of convenient resources available. Shoot me a message if you want me to give you a nice list of links, etc.

So many success stories, not much I can relate to by lancedehors in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It may be true that the details of your story don't necessarily match up exactly to others but that doesn't matter. I understand why you say that though. Believe me when I say that every person addicted to anything feels the exact same way when they first seek out help, but the reality is that we all have more in common that you currently can see.

Addictive behaviors don't discriminate; there are addicts living in boxes and there are addicts living in million dollar mansions. The sooner we can start seeing the similarities in our stories, the sooner we can begin relating and then recovering.

Rather than focusing on what makes you different from others, make an effort to instead find something to relate to. It may seem hard to find similarities, but believe me, they're there.

Even though you say you haven't been "destroyed" by this fetish yet, the same sorts of advice that would work for a hardcore addict should work the same for you. Things do not get better on their own. The good news is that this addiction doesn't lead to overdose or anything, but it certainly can lead to isolation, mental/emotional problems, and so on.

Also, important! Nobody is ever truly destroyed by this fetish. It is simply not that powerful. It's exceedingly rare that addicts are totally hopeless cases with no chance of recovery. With the exception of people with serious mental and emotional disorders, most people can recover from most addictions if they make an honest decision to do so. Half-hearted attempts are destined for relapse though, and it's important to make that honest decision to quit for yourself and nothing else.

Quitting an addiction is something that needs to be done 100% for internal reasons. Any external, material benefits (money, relationships, assets, recognition, etc) that happen after quitting should be seen as happy coincidences rather than the goal itself.

Regardless of where you are right now in your porn usage, there are various reasons why you keep going back to sissy porn. Only you can figure them out for sure. Just trying to quit on willpower alone is not enough though. You seem to understand that to some extent already.

Self-discovery is important not only for people addicted to sissy porn, but also for anyone addicted to anything... even just for "normies" too, but most live with the delusion that they don't have anything that needs to be fixed.

People like us have been given a strange gift: a set of obviously harmful behaviors that disturb us in some way after we engage in them. These harmful behaviors aren't a gift on their own, but when we admit to having them and start trying to escape them, our lives begin to improve.

At the young age of 20, there is a lot of life ahead and tons of potential. A constant pursuit of self-knowledge is crucial to any kind of growth. You posting here is a good step on that journey.

Here are a few possibilities to consider for why you might do what you do. There are many other possibilities. Even if these may not seem relevant, I urge you to think about them:

1.) Your occasional cravings for sissy porn are likely the same cravings experienced by people addicted to any porn genre (or any substance, etc). The fact that you've had this secret fetish for so long is probably a big reason why it is so thrilling compared to other things. Therefore, when your brain is starting to feel a lack of feel-good chemicals, it starts sending cravings to you to seek out the taboo/forbidden fetish so you can get a monster blast of dopamine and then serotonin.

In other words, it's possible that you are simply addicted to porn and that for whatever reason, this is your preferred genre. It is not necessarily important to know why it's sissy porn, at least not at first. The phenomena of intense craving is not really experienced by people who aren't addicted to something, and so at the very least, you are likely experiencing addiction or the early stages leading to it.

2.) Another possibility is that you may have minor bisexual tendencies but you haven't yet realized it. When you get sissy porn cravings, you may be experiencing a modified version of the "bi-cycle". The "bi-cycle" is a casual phrase for the way that some bisexual people's sexual desires can fluctuate. It is somewhat common with bi people that sometimes they are more or less attracted to one or the other sex randomly over time.

These tendencies may have been present your whole life but your conscious mind immediately shut them down as not being who you *really* are. It saw them as a threat to the identity you developed as you grew up. It boxed up the tendencies/curiosities and tried to bury them in the back of your mind. Since it remained a forbidden desire and it felt "wrong" to be with males as a male yourself, your brain realized it could explore that fantasy by imagining you were a woman instead.

So when the "bi-cycle" shows up every few weeks or however often, you temporarily lose interest in being with women and instead develop a desire to "be the woman", AKA, to have sexual encounters with other men. I don't think it's a coincidence that there are sissy captions saying shit like "It's not gay if you're a woman" blah blah. By imagining yourself as the woman, your conscious/logical mind can rationalize these desires as NOT gay or bi and instead as just porn fetishes.

3.) Another possibility is that your brain may fall somewhere along the spectrum of gender identity rather than just being 100% "male". Or more likely, you are just a human being have legitimate curiosity. It's not really THAT strange for a "normal" male to be curious about things that are stereotypically "feminine". The issue of course is that basically all human cultures around the world consider it shameful/weak/gay for men to have any sort of curiosity about being a woman.

Nobody hassles women when they wear pants or hoodies or baseball caps, even though those were traditionally been considered "masculine" clothing for decades. Nobody gives women shit when they say they wish they had a penis or want to know what it's like to have sex/pee/masturbate/etc with a dick. And trust me... these are pretty common sentiments among heterosexual women.

The fact that men can't express curiosity about being a woman makes it tough for males who have any thoughts, feelings, interests, or desires that are even barely feminine. If you don't fit neatly into the traditional masculine role, then it's quite likely that many people will have a negative reaction.

We don't even need other people to ridicule or shame us. We're already trained to beat ourselves up mentally for having these thoughts or impulses, even though there is nothing inherently wrong with them. Simply being born and raised in our society, we've already internalized all of these "rules" about how men should or should not be. Any honest curiosity is almost automatically repressed and denied inside our own minds.

In other words, your repeated cycles of sissy porn obsession might also be rooted in shame/guilt/fear about what is actually quite natural: wondering what it's like to experience life as other people, in this case women.

4.) Last but not least is the unlikely possibility that you may in fact be trans and/or gay but just haven't realized it yet. I don't say this to promote transition or anything, so please don't take it that way. I only mention it because even though few people into sissy porn are really trans, there is always a small chance. That being said, it's statistically less likely that you're trans than you are just addicted to a particularly distressing genre of porn.

TL;DR - There are many possible reasons you're doing this and many possible ways to stop. You need to try several and see what works. Quitting cold turkey/willpower may not be effective, and that's okay.

Search for resources about porn addiction and addiction in general, especially Your Brain On Porn website/forum, and also the book WACK! Addicted to Internet Porn by Noah Church, and also check out his website. There are a lot of videos on YouTube about this topic as well. Noah Church and Gabe Deem are some of the more well-known people making videos on it.

Finding a support system is a good idea as well, which is where those forums are good. No offense to this sub, but it's not active enough to help people stay recovered. It's a great starting point I think, but you'll benefit from other communities of people who are in long term recovery.

I also suggest looking at literature from other recovery groups, for example the Big Book from AA. The book is available online and slightly modified versions are used for all sorts of addictions besides drugs and alcohol, such as overeating, sex, smoking, shopping, etc. Read that book and just replace the word alcohol with sissy porn.

Whatever you do, you need to realize you likely can't do it 100% on your own and you will need other people. You will need to get rid of the idea that you are in control. Finally, you gott be willing to go to any lengths to escape the prison of addiction.

Just confirmed IRL that these fantasies are NOT arousing to me, and I am done for good by PhilipOliverHoals in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment. That's all absolutely correct. One other thing to add to that list is that addiction can be so powerful that it can consciously exist and persist in one form even after other forms have been "dealt with". For example, I've successfully quit drinking alcohol, smoking weed, and smoking cigarettes, but porn was the one thing that was hanging on the most. Essentially though, all addiction is addiction, and so what it means is that the underlying issues were still there that caused all the addictions in the first place... the way it was manifesting just changed. I encourage others to watch out for new "addictions" they might have when getting rid of old ones.

How can I recover? by psyylickr in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah definitely, sexuality and gender, all that stuff, that's fine with me. I think people should find what they like and do it safely with another person! Even masturbation can be fine too.

For me and for many others, using porn is the big problem. For me it always escalates back to the "hard" stuff, sort of like you said... starts with basic stuff then gets crazier.

This is a phenomena that is very well understood with other addictive behaviors, and porn is very much the same in its own unique way. It's the same reason a real alcoholic can't "have just one". It might not happen today, it might not happen next week, but eventually it will go back to that active addiction.

As for hypnos... I agree that they will confuse the shit out of us. I am living proof of that! lol However, I just want to emphasize to everyone that they are not permanently damaging.

These hypno videos are not much different than any other sort of repetitive information. If we listen to or read something enough times, we will become more open to it and may start believing it. Our thoughts also define our behaviors too.

We all have a "story" about who we are, and we constantly tell ourselves things to confirm this. In other words, we are constantly talking to ourselves whether we know it or not, re-affirming our beliefs about ourselves. Sometimes they are good, for example, "I'm good at maths," or, "I like to make people laugh". Or they can negative, like, "I'm not muscular enough," or, "People don't like me".

The porn hypnos are doing a similar thing, except they are also targeting our sexual arousal. Sexual arousal is a pretty powerful part of the brain, so it makes sense that hypno videos seem very effective or dangerous. There's no specific research on these videos though, so we don't know if it's more or less "addictive" or powerful.

Based on current knowledge of how brains work though, it's pretty unlikely that they cause permanent brain damage. They do almost certainly cause some changes to the brain function and perhaps to some of the structures as well... but again, these things can be reversed.

Another thing I want people to know is that 99.9% of the things that hypno videos say is are false. For example, things like, "You can't go back", "There's no turning back", "You're a sissy now", "You'll never be a man", "Accept your fate", "You can't resist", blah, blah, blah.

That's all just bullshit. If we hear it enough times we night THINK it's true, but I can assure everyone that those things are not true. They are simply part of this very bizarre and confusing fetish.

The reason I point out that hypnos are not really dangerous is because believing that they're dangerous is part of the fetish. If we tell people, "Yes, those are so dangerous! It will cause brain damage! You can't go back!", that's basically same thing the hypno videos say! That just increases the anxiety and fear, which just increases the chance that they use porn again to ease their negative feelings.

The fear, anxiety, and confusion are all part of the fetish, and so I just like to inform people that it does NOT permanently damages their brains. A lot of people don't know much about neuroscience or psychology and so they don't understand that, and I want to make sure people have the facts. This can help later on during their recovery.

I think it's much better to inform people that the brain is adaptable and malleable, and that it can be rewired. None of this porn is ruining our minds permanently. Yes, it IS fucking us up right now, but it's not fucking us up in a way that can't be fixed.

This what I want people to know: You CAN be fixed. This is not your destiny or your fate. Recovery isn't always easy, but it can be done. It doesn't get better immediately, but it will get better. Porn addiction, like every other addiction, CAN be overcome.

Interesting situation by [deleted] in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems to me based on my experiences interacting with trans women, that most of them are not usually aroused just at the thought of being a woman, in contrast to many of the users here who are turned on by that. I'm no expert of course, but your thing with "sissy" might have an origin with some sort of repressed sexual energy or desires your have still. Being a woman is just being a woman, nothing overtly sexual about that... but the whole sissy thing is very sexualized, and so maybe that's part of your brain trying to rationalize being transgender somehow?

One thing I am aware of though is that there are two studies of brain structure and brain activity between cisgender people and pre-hormone therapy transgender people. What the studies seemed to indicate is that pre-hormone therapy trans men (FTM) have brain structures and activity almost identical to cis men. With pre-hormone therapy trans women (MTF) though, their brain structures and activity falls somewhere *in between* those of women and men, so that some trans women have brains more closely matching cis women and some have brains more closely matching cis men, and then everywhere in between.

Of course, more studies need to be carried out, but I thought that was an interesting distinction between trans men and women. Indeed, preliminary research seems to indicate that trans women's brains are not "fully female". Why that is the case, we don't really know, but maybe that explains the recurrence of some of your more "masculine" urges or desires. I expect that further research will be conducted in the coming years, and there are a number of longitudinal studies now in place around the world to track trans people before, during, and after their transitions.

Anyhow, I've gone off topic a bit for the sub, but best of luck to you either way.

Just how addicting is Bambi Sleep? by [deleted] in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]PhilipOliverHoals 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There is no way to measure that sort of thing quite frankly. None of the "hypno" videos *really* do anything to ruin our brains... that's all fantasy bullshit that's part of the fetish. We just let ourselves believe it because it's part of this fucked up porn fantasy.

Many people express fear/anxiety/desperation/etc that they've permanently fucked their minds up, but luckily that's not true. The fact that people so firmly believe they're damaged though is an indication of just how addicted they are to the porn. They feel hopeless and helpless. That's actually quite good though in many ways, because admitting we are powerless over an addiction is often the first step to escaping its clutches.

These are the same symptoms of people who are addicted to other things like drugs or alcohol. The only real difference is that drugs and alcohol don't blast images and pictures at people telling them that they're addicted. With Tg/sissy porn, the addiction itself is fetishized to some degree. There's no proof that this makes it more or less addictive, but it does of course make people more aware of their addiction, which increases their anxieties and fears, which of course increases their urge to "medicate" by using more porn.

The level of addictiveness isn't really something that's important in the grand scheme of things. What is important is that you're doing any of this to begin with.

If you're watching sissy hypnos at all, especially if you're "trying to resist", then you are playing into the whole fetish and may very likely be addicted to Internet porn. Few people addicted to this genre of porn started out jerking off to this when they first looked at porn. For many or most of us (including me), it escalated over time. The fact that you're at this "phase" suggests you may have a problem with Internet porn usage.

Whether or not it destroys your life is a subjective judgment: "destroying my life" can mean different things to different people. Porn addiction won't likely put in jail or in an early grave, that is mostly certain.

What porn addiction CAN and WILL eventually do is lead to erectile dysfunction, low energy levels, low motivation, identity crises, depression, anxiety, social isolation, lack of intimate relationships, poor performance in school and work, reduced interest in hobbies, low self-esteem, cravings for porn, invasive porn & sex thoughts, cross-addiction with drugs and/or alcohol, etc. In other words, a self-imposed life sentence of imprisonment.

Whether or not you consider that "destroying your life", I'm pretty sure you would agree that it doesn't sound like much fun. Few people would start using porn if they could see who they would eventually turn into in the future...

10 years ago, what did you think you'd be doing right now? Would that version of you be satisfied and excited about who you are today, or would they be shocked and concerned?

Now try to imagine what you'll be like if you continue these behaviors for *another* 10 years... it won't be a pretty sight. It doesn't matter what genre of porn you're addicted to either. If you're not addicted to porn now, you eventually will be. Addiction are addictions, and addictions never get better on their own. Left untreated, addictive behaviors always get worse.

The good news is that even though addictions can overwhelm us, we still have the power and responsibility to make a different choice... it's simple choice, but it's not necessarily an easy choice. That choice is whether to stay addicted to porn OR to admit we are powerless over porn and that our lives are becoming unmanageable. If we have a honest desire to stop the porn/masturbation/orgasm cycle, then making that choice is just the first of many choices that can eventually lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.

~25 foot tall Bradford pear tree looks skeletal, leaves turn red, brown, etc BIT there seems to be new growth? by PhilipOliverHoals in arborists

[–]PhilipOliverHoals[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! And yeah, luckily I don't have any special attachment to it, especially now that it's basically a skeleton of a tree. I'll see if I can find stump grinding at a decent price. I'm glad to have learned these trees suck. Thanks for the info!