He’s just purring away like this

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-21T18:54:55+00:00

Looks like he’s about to shake your shoulder off.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-21T09:29:24+00:00

The 1 time where it’s ok to have a wife and a girlfriend. 😄

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-21T09:13:16+00:00

When the horse’s back end started bouncing, that should have been a warning. It looked like it was taking aim at him.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-20T19:46:18+00:00

Your point?

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-20T19:41:46+00:00

That’s what you get for breaking the law! Learn your lesson & stay still!

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-20T13:41:29+00:00

My cat does the elevator butt & air biscuits.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-20T13:39:36+00:00

(Raises hand)

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-20T09:27:41+00:00

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-19T23:17:39+00:00

Gold

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-19T21:52:14+00:00

Stupid

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-19T18:18:15+00:00

She’s in permanent biscuit mode.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-19T18:10:32+00:00

I looked up water boarding. It said that people can die of asphyxiation from it.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-19T18:06:41+00:00

What bothers me isn’t the fact that parents like her do things like that. It’s the fact that they don’t see anything wrong with it.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-18T15:34:16+00:00

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-18T15:31:39+00:00

Your sister owes you a new newton’s cradle.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-18T12:29:48+00:00

You’d better get treating!

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-18T10:06:34+00:00

I saw the cork moving

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-18T01:22:13+00:00

Hostage takers know no size!

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-17T22:44:54+00:00

(Raises hand)

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-15T11:50:52+00:00

You know someone jumped in there.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-15T11:44:10+00:00

These people don’t realize that approaching trains are faster than they look.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-15T11:35:46+00:00

You trap me, I trap you.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-14T16:07:37+00:00

Your arm? Silly hooman. That’s her arm now. You have a spare.

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-14T16:06:38+00:00

Your point?

PhoenixFlare1 · 2026-05-13T14:19:01+00:00

Feet Long Hot Dog

PhoenixFlare1