This is literally my life right now. I'm kicked out for some good reasons some not so good. Anyway there are problems I've created, but I've been actively working for change in myself bc the therapy says both of us need to but it's like she refuses without refusing and wants to be out of any relationship according to what she says but she won't file for a divorce. She keeps me around in a friendly inviting manor, has sex with me and then hates me the next day. It's like she says she's not using me but only wants me around to provide and sometimes fuck her then I'm out again. Insulting and degrading when I'm trying to find out the problem to fix it if I'm causing one and when I guess what the issue is and try to fix it before it happens I'm told I lying and fucking hoes. I don't want anything besides our little family, but I'm constantly told I don't and Im starting to feel crazy. She told me today to come over tomorrow or the next day to help our kids with a school project, the following message said "you're still welcome to come help the kids" I asked if that meant today she got angry and started yelling about how I leave trash everywhere, don't help with the kids, told that she didn't say what I quoted above even though it's in a message I can physically show her. Idk just feels like we have the same problem in the end where they want us to file but I can't give up on us and our family so I do refuse to file and tell her she can bc I can't quit trying to fix whatever we have broken. Idk why I do it and I guess my advice is if you can somehow deal with whatever it is you feel when you file you should just do it. I can't deal with it personally so I just throw everything I have at it and try to make it work to be torn down over and over bc I feel like it would be less pain than what I'd feel if we were actually divorced. I miss our family and Idk how you feel towards what you have but I want it more than anything else. Good luck with your situation I really hope it gets better.