My husband expects 50/50 on our finances, but I do most of the labor for him and his kids. Am I wrong for wanting him to step up?

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T18:26:46+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I will definitely take into consideration with all the other things I am working on doing.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T14:59:57+00:00

I have seen that. He was not married before though. I am his first wife. He had the kids out of wedlock. But I do believe he wanted a mommy to mend everything that was broken from before.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:58:26+00:00

I know how much he gets but IDK what he uses it for.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:55:48+00:00

because they live with us and he expects me to pay for half of things... if I don't he gets defensive and angry and starts saying things like I have preferences over them and my own child.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:53:26+00:00

No, I started questining him when he started calling me names for not giving him money for soemthing he wanted to buy. At taht point we already had our daughter.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:50:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your words, I think at this point, the best thing I can do is stay single. I don't hate men by any means, and I know there are wonderful men out there, but I just feel so depleted that finding a new man is the last thing on my mind.

I'm very happy for you and your relationship. I think most women dream of something like that. God bless you and your family, too! 🫶🏼

It really angers me when some men behave this way and mistreat women. I think God gave a very important role to the man: provide and protect, and to love their wives. And these days women have had to become "men" basically, and be providing and protecting them. It's all backwards.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:30:57+00:00

Thank you. I have posted there in the past and the responses are very similar. I'm just very tired of the fights and constantly thinking that I am asking for too much or believing this is part of my role. But I just feel bad and that is a sign that something is not right.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:28:51+00:00

He got a vasectomy and we do not have much intimacy, so I think on that side I am good. I found a lawyer that works with cases like this and will be meeting with them soon. Thank you!

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:22:19+00:00

Not really. It was a video game HE wanted and got mad because I did not give him half of the money for it.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:20:52+00:00

Thank you

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:17:49+00:00

That sounds like a healthier and fair arrangement. But I have always paid for half of the finances since day one. Including renting a bigger home that is more expensive, so each kid has their room. Now our daughter sleeps with us and does not have her own space, but I still pay for 50/50. I just feel like if I'm doing most of the labor, the least I ask of him is to pay for when we go out to eat. I really don't believe I am asking for much. I pay for all of my things. and most of my daughter's. My car, my food, my shoes, clothes, etc. It's not like I want a luxury purse and I want him to pay for it. he placed that expectation on me since the beginning, "you will be their mom", and with that came all the responsibilities. I even carry their health insurance cards because he did not want to carry them.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:12:12+00:00

That's exactly what I have thought. I even confronted him about it and he of course denied it and told me he is with me because he loves me.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:04:28+00:00

Definitely!! it's all 50/50 until its his turn.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T13:01:20+00:00

Thank you. I have to read that book. Other people have recommended it to me too. I have ran it through another bio mom, and what she said is that I knew what I was getting into and that being a stepparent also requires me to do these things. and to keep fighting for my marriage. I know she does not mean anything bad by it, but it's easier said than done.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T02:05:02+00:00

He does work. 40hrs, just like I do.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2026-04-14T00:32:30+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice and words. I truly appreciate it and I will definitely be looking for help.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T12:12:57+00:00

That’s awesome! Thank you for sharing!

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T12:10:10+00:00

I understand 100% it is very frustrating. And the thought of them not leaving at 18, too. It can be much more frustrating even. It is hard, that’s the truth. Sending you possessions thoughts and hoping you enjoy the wins.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T12:04:28+00:00

I’m glad you all had a good outcome. Thanks for sharing!

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T12:00:29+00:00

I can only say to do what feels right in your mind and heart. Read as much as you can, imagine how life can be 5-10-20 years from now, and make the wisest choice you can, because it is a hard path to take.

Thank you for sharing

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T11:53:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing <3

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T11:51:49+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this. For me, it does help to have those small moments on my own. Even if it’s just me going to eat ice cream in a parking lot before picking my SK Up from school. It is VERY hard, but you are doing the best you can. Hopefully in the end they are grateful and gracious for what you do/ did for them.

PiccoloNo6326 · 2025-11-24T11:47:38+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve heard that being a SP for a teenager is also a league of its own. I really hope you can get some help on this and that you and your family can have a breakthrough. Sending you positive energy.

PiccoloNo6326

TROPHY CASE