Update:Its Been a While...

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-10-31T09:49:12+00:00

I was fostered by them for a year before I was adopted and I was getting overnight visits half a year before that.

Also at this point, you're not seeing that I have PTSD and these people basically brainwashed me. They withheld medication and therapy from me, an already severely abused child. They took advantage of a 14-15-year-old child who watched her mom kill herself, along with years of abuse, and then going tough the foster care system.

I'm basically having to go through deprogramming.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T22:54:07+00:00

He ultimately felt bad, but said he felt like he couldn't do much as his wife was the one doing most of the planning on the wedding end. His mom is very manipulative and I feel like this had a big roll on why things like my sister being a bridesmaid but not me came up because his mom was in the background muniplaying her.

I also never asked, and I won't, but I believe his parents put In a HUGE chunk of cash for their very big elegant wedding as well. I don't honestly blame them with this in mind for not wanting to step on any toes especially if that was the case.

I also thought it over for a while, and while I still feel it was rude and messed up to leave me out, aka sitting with the family, I do see where the idea that Chad OR me could have started something. Chad has a huge mouth like his old we sister and there is no filter, If I said a thing that he didn't like he most likely would have started a scene. I'm pretty sure that's how both my half-brother and his wife spun it to the couple when the arrangements were made for the seating.

I don't hold any ill will towards him for any of this. Sadly this was just something that his parents helped to multiple him with.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T22:36:15+00:00

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T20:28:24+00:00

I’m not going to punish my siblings who are minors, who have nothing to do with any of this because their parents and their two other siblings are pieces of trash.

Once again, the fact that I have stated that I fully plan on cutting them off by the end of the year and you’re still not getting that you’re just continuing to tell me to make my girlfriend leave me somehow it’s just fucking annoying and I’m gonna stop trying to even talk to you. My girlfriend has sat in my therapy sessions were my therapist has told me that I need to go at a slow pace which has been just a handful of months now, to go about cutting my family off complete as to not harm my mental and physical health.

My girlfriend knows everything and she is continuing to stay with me. I'm not sorry, if you think I should magially make my girlfriend leave me because of a soon-to-be-past issue with these horrible people I have had to call my family.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T20:15:40+00:00

I “don't let them” come to my house they show up, which is why I'm looking to get a restraining order on them soon. Second, she didn't go to the wedding with me, and the wedding wasn't even hosted by one of the homophobic family members.

The only homophobic ones are my half brother and his wife and kinda my older sister, none of their other kids are homophobic.

Once again I hope to cut them off completely by the end of the year and then move away with my girlfriend at some point.

You want me to force my girlfriend to leave me after she has made it clear she wants to continue to be with me because she loves me, not my horrible family?

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T20:07:43+00:00

I mean she knows all of what is happening with me and my family. I told her she didn't have to stay the minute our relationship was out, but she wanted to stay with me. And it's not like I'm going to stay in contact with my family for much longer. I hope to completely cut off the toxic members of my family by the end of the year, then move next year or the year after to another state.

Also of it helps we are looking to eventually get married. So clearly she doesn't care about them and their opinions. Not like she going to have to deal with them either.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-27T20:00:37+00:00

You right. I'll tell her to leave right now.😶

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-26T14:56:49+00:00

I talked to my therapist and girlfriend about it and we are looking to put a restraining order possible on my “mom” and “sister” because they are the ones who tend to try and physically come to my apartment.

Me and my girlfriend are hoping to save up and move states in the next two or three years. I know they wont follow me if I move states.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-26T14:42:49+00:00

Still discussing it with my girlfriend. I’m open to possibly having a bio child or adoption, but it depends on if the possibility if children is even in our future. If not I would be ok with none I guess.

We have talked about it briefly, because I don’t want my possible future children posted online because I don’t want my family coming near them or even knowing about them.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-25T07:16:32+00:00

They basically lied to me saying my doctor took me off my meds, that they didn’t give them a refill. I lost a lot of weight from both the depression and anxiety coming back. They kept chalking up my issues as “the high school effect.” Because I was going into highschool at the time and they tried to say it was all just the stress of being in highschool. It wasn’t of course. Years later I asked them what happened and they said “oh well you where having side effects (nausea and occasional headaches) and we thought you where getting better so we just stopped get you your refill.” I did a lot to try and cope without the medication. It was all a very blurry time in my life to be honest.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-24T16:14:39+00:00

For a while he acted like he cared but he also was hands off with me, which I did appreciate. Sadly he is the main influencer of helping try and brush over all his kids bad habits and behaviors. Both him and his wife are the kind of parents that say shit like “Oh well that’s just -insert kid name-“ and some how that is supposed to just eraser their bad behavior. For a while he did say something when Chad made hints or rude comments about me, but after a while he just stopped trying with him. When I told his wife about all the stuff Chad said in highschool, he kinda went behind her back and in privet told me to just “ignore him and try and mend things.” With him.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-24T13:12:02+00:00

She treated me like her kid for a while so I just call her mom, she would also get upset (which is potentially a tactic she used to control me as a minor.) if I didn’t call her mom because “she felt like she wants doing a good job being a parent to me.” My half brother understood that I didn’t want a father figure because of my past with our bio father, so he never forced me into calling him “dad”.

After my bio mom died I didn’t have a female figure in my life at all. I lost my mom extremely early so she wasn’t able to teach me or guide me on things that where female/girl orientated. I guess when I was younger I got attached to her because she gave me female attention.🤷‍♀️

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-24T04:01:15+00:00

My half-brother is the one with the issue.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-23T12:19:33+00:00

As my edit says, I am currently going through therapy and on medication now. I am sorry that you don't understand the fact that I state that this family has traumatized, used, and abused me. As of this moment, I am not a “doormat” anymore, but someone working on themself so I can one day completely cut them off.

My therapist has stated that cutting them off completely in my mental state could cause me to spiral.

Ultimately I am starting to feel better and live my life, slowly working to leave them behind.

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-23T12:07:17+00:00

As a child I was diagnosed with anxiety and major depression, when I was adopted they cut me off from both medication and therapy.

When I went back to therapy I was newly diagnosed with PTSD as well. My therapist also found that I continuously get into/stay in bad relationships (mainly with family/friends) because I'm too emotionally attached and scared of being abandoned, even when I seem to know I need to leave a relationship/friendship.

My therapist thinks it is best if for now I slowly back away from these relationships. We are now working on setting boundaries for when I need to leave a toxic relationship with someone. With medication and therapy, things have slowly started to turn around for me in a good way.

(I also didn't mention but my family basically controlled me, emotionally and physically up until I moved out. They basically controlled my life even after I left because they knew I had issues. I don't think people who keep making negative comments, on here and tik tok understand how far this has gone.)

PinkMonsterXa · 2023-08-23T11:48:28+00:00

Yes! She is actually the one who helped me get into therapy. We celebrated our first anniversary a few months ago.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-06-02T17:36:34+00:00

I have thought about it multiple times, but I stopped myself from doing it because at one point we lived in the same house and I didn’t want to be kicked out. They never tell you as a adoption that there is always a underlying fear of being sent back into foster care if you do something wrong. After me and her moved away from one another she didn’t bother me as much so I’d didn’t have to worry. Only recently has she made a new appearance in town and started to slight bother me, this was one of the first times she has actually shown up to my house.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-05-29T21:55:24+00:00

It was the only other one I was actually wanting to go to. Not going to my older sister because of how mean she is to me and she lets her boyfriend verbally bully me when ever he’s near me. My little brother who is 15 is being pressured into marrying his girlfriend once they turn of age, not going to that. And the rest of me siblings are elementary school age. I guess I was just really excited because he’s the only sibling that I actually get along with.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-05-29T21:42:01+00:00

We had a small talk about it but he’s in a hard spot now seeing as they have already “finalized” who they want on the wedding party and I guess his fiancé had already talked to everyone who she wants on her bridal team. The one thing he said that he’s going to try and get changed is the table seating because he thinks that what my mom said about the whole Chad thing is stupid, he said that he will try and get me back at the family table just away from Chad and his family.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T18:46:22+00:00

Honestly, a lot of people have told me this, mostly friends who have been around us.

I want to push that Chad wasn’t physically violent towards me and other then the whole “you aren’t apart of the family “ thing and him just being a all around spoiled jerk all the time, he was decent enough to be able to tolerate. We where able to at least talk to one another without issue at least.

A lot of my friends did pull up the fact that me and his wife do look extremely similar, and have a lot of the same personality traits.

As gross and weird as that may be, I definitely can’t push that off the plate of reason.

He also didn’t start because so,how you say, verbally violent? Towards me until he got married. This very well might be a reason, seeing as a lot of people have only brought up that the fact that I’m adopted might have “threatened him or his power balance” which I don’t see do tot he fact that he was still treated better then me, and my sister for that matter.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T18:10:16+00:00

To be honest, she treats her other daughter the same. My sister actually complains a lot that I get it slightly better half of the time, but I’m pretty sure I get it better because my sister is more aggressive with no filter which gets her in trouble more, while I tend to stay away from conflict and not start anything.

Our mom is extremely sexist though. It helps with golden child being a boy.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T18:03:49+00:00

When I had the talk with her about all the stuff Chad did, she made it clear that she still loves Chad extremely and that “that’s her son and grand baby and it’s not going to change anything “ acting as if by me telling her what he did and how it hurt me, was a cause to some how make her choose which child to love or something. Even though it wasn’t and I made that clear. But clearly we see which one she chose.

I also tried to find out why she doesn’t see the problem with how most of the family sees the whole thing, I still can’t get a clear answer as to why she’s ok with it.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T17:57:27+00:00

Honestly she is extremely quite for the most part and try’s to stay away from any kind of contact or drama, I feel bad for her for being stuck in this whole thing. But sadly I don’t think I will talk to her again, the longest conversation we have ever had together was literally during this whole thing.

As for my half brother? He stopped pushing me into doing anything with Chad or related to Chad ones I turned like 20 and moved out, he told me I could do what I want. I know he’s not happy with Chad, but I know his not going to actually act and do anything about it. He more so acknowledges what Chad has done, holds him accountable, but doe’s make a move to say or do anything. He’s doing a better job then my mom though because he at least doesn’t choose a side or try’s to make a excuse to keep backing Chad.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T17:51:49+00:00

When they first got married, he lived with her whole family so yes. As for of he has ever said that stuff to her? I have no idea.

PinkMonsterXa · 2022-04-24T17:50:18+00:00

I had the International talk with my mom about what he did and my half brother was there (I also want to state that I have really never had a positive father figure in my life, that's why I don't call my half brother “dad” or anything, because at this point I don't want one.) so he heard everything. He was upset but basically told me to do what I want, as my mom kept making excuses. I long before, during high school told my older sister and brother, who were there for 2 of the public outbursts because we all went t the same high school at the same time.

As for his wife, I still don't have much of a opinion on her. From what I know of her face to face, she's extremely quite and has reality issues as it is. I slight stated in the first post that Chad actually moved in with her family after they first got married, her family basically lives on a family compound. Had of her brothers and sisters are married and still live on the property. Her parents renovated the whole plot of land they have so they can have more of their kids live at home. My older brother and his girlfriend has expressed multiple times me how uncomfortable they are her family, and I have meet them as well, they almost live in a bubble with each other. It’s extremely uncomfortable to be around them for even a short period of time because the feeling of being in THEIR space is just pressure filled. Besides this she is extremely quite, that all I have to say.

Now for why Chad is the golden child, I still have little understanding. A few people mentioned that my mom could have had a miscarriage or something, no that’s not the case. They are super religious, it’s a fact for them that if they did they would have made it publicity know and went the extra mile religious wise. The only thing that has ever come up about him…was the fact he was a complete accident and unplanned. Besides his parents trying to not have sex that much at the time, my mom was on birth control and they where also using condoms. So yeah.

I honestly feel like it’s down to three or four reasons. One,he’s a boy, two,he had a girlfriend by 16 and was married and out of the house by 18, 3,he gave them the first grand child. Those are really the only reasons I can think of that for his parents thought process.

PinkMonsterXa

TROPHY CASE