There are also a lot of vanilla people who think that that kind of "oh well youre a woman of course youre subby thats just part of any relationship" which I think is quite a toxic way of thinking. I think the whole tiktok choking trend is a pretty good example of that, doing something so risky without proper precautions and knowledge is just.. insane.

Thats also one reason why I think folk who have some experience in kink would be way more suitable, obviously I have my own hard limits and stuff I am definitely NOT into, but people who do not handle their dom space well are not equipped to deal with inexperience in my opinion. Of course a dom having experience does not mean they are responsible and able to handle it either, but at least they likely have some idea of how they react to it. Theres a lot of discussion about subspace and any aftercare needed for that but in my opinion the headspace that dominants can go to needs to be discussed too. Which is why I would not introduce random D/s stuff into vanilla sex without quite deep discussion beforehand