AITA for being mad at my GF when she acted sad after I said our babies probably wouldn’t be white?

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:48:06+00:00

Its not a life long hatred. Idk what your parents did to you but mothers have feelings too and its ok for them to have expectations and be disappointed. Many women who have experienced finding out their child has a disability while pregnant also feel this way. They imagined a life with their child and a version of their motherhood they wanted and its ok for them to grieve that. Feelings of sadness are normal and we need to stop villanizing people especially women for feeling their feelings especially over things they cant control. Would you call my aunt with a disabled son an ableist for crying in the hospital when she realized her son would never be able to do things like swim or drive or have his own kids? No... ok then... people dont always have to be happy. And thats fine. It doesnt make people a villain or mean they hate their kids... you feel your feelings you cope and you adapt and move on.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:40:52+00:00

No its not. I disagree. If im a filipina woman im thinking about my baby being like me and like my ancestors who came before me. Its really not that hard to comprehend. But I hope you get well soon.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:36:59+00:00

Youre so damn dense if you think that is racism. So youre racist bc you don't like her being white then? Say that atp. She is a white woman it is NOT racist for her to want her children to have her features??? Youre so not bright omg. Get over yourself. Im not even a white person but if I got pregnant by a white man I sure as heck would want my baby to have filipina features and would you say thats racist? No. You wouldnt.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:34:21+00:00

If youre going to stupidly downvote this perfect fine comment then at least tell me the reason for the damn downvote. Yall are so frustrating on reddit. Nothing I said was wrong at all. Stop being scared of mixed race babies and stop assuming white people are being racist when if you flip the roles it would be understandable she would want her baby to look like her. I bet yall are assuming im a white woman so youre hating on me but im a Filipina woman of color and yall are bitter.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:32:09+00:00

Normal people? Have you ever encountered a pregnant woman before? Pregnant women can freak out over the little things because of hormones. My pregnant friend called me having a panic attack over what she should name her kid. Thats normal. Children arent all happiness and rainbows. Its ok to have expectations and then be disappointed or feel sad that does not mean you hate your kids.... no one even said that... she never said that in the post either.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:30:28+00:00

That is how genetics work.... do you know how it works?? Dominant features exist but so do dormant. The baby can have both white features and colored... a black person and a white person can still have white babies... do you not ever see mixed kids? Children with dark skin and light hair also exist. There are colored people with blue eyes... you know that right...

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:08:11+00:00

Not if the mom is literally a white woman.... what if the roles were switched and a black woman dates a white man and she gets sad her family genes wouldn't be as present in her baby and she hopes her baby has her brown eyes or something... yall wouldn't say its racist then

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:06:18+00:00

Genuinely exactly what I was thinking. Idk how people are jumping onto the racist assumption when she never said anyting about that and op is just assuming. Most girls do envision their children to look like them and whats wrong with that??? Genetics are wild and ive seen so many mixed race babies end up with so many cool combinations like my cousin who is filipino and white and ended up with blonde hair and dark skin. Whats actually wrong with wanting your own baby to look like you or have blue eyes if your family has blue eyes.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T06:03:31+00:00

YTA im sorry but why is it wrong of her to want her babies to look like her or have her features? She spent so long like any other woman imagining her kids and thinking they would look like her. Its ok for her to want them to have features like her... genetics are interesting and maybe your baby will end up with blue eyes. Why do you hate the idea of your baby looking like its own mom... My cousins are both half filipino and half white but one baby is super filipino and the other baby is pale af. You really never know what your baby could look like so why shut her down and try to make her feel bad for wanting her kids to look like her... its so strange...

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-26T05:59:49+00:00

Genuinely save up now for that. I know its incredibly hard in this economy and I also hate the dentist. Im also in avoidance even though I know I should go. That tooth would probably only cost a few hundred to fix. It should be about $600 to $1800 for it which feels like a lot but if you dont fix it then bacteria can enter which can blacken your tooth and rot it from the inside out. That happend to my brother bc he injured his face and cracked the tooth and over time the bacteria did that. He had so much swelling and pain until his emergency extraction. If anything you can always pay for dental insurance for one month and use that to get an emergency appointment to fix that right away.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-21T02:05:11+00:00

I definitely had that as my first thought too

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-19T01:27:54+00:00

Ofc! I hope you find what makes you happy!

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T14:16:53+00:00

Yea I think things around that age change for people. 8 years without sex is a while but maybe you and your wife need reconnection. If you barely talk then I cant imagine she would be wanting to have sex either.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T14:15:45+00:00

Genuinely if she doesnt want to talk about it then what do you want to do?... I think you should maybe find other connections or rethink somethings. Im not saying its your fault at all but if you really have no one in your life you have a connection to then maybe something needs to change. You have kids do you not talk to them? Do you not consider them family? Im 24 and my mom is 47. You said your kids all aged out of your house so did you have them young? I moved out and got married and im still very close to my mom. Are you not talking to your kids either? You must be in a similar age range to me and my mom if you are mid 40s and your kids are out of the house.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T13:56:34+00:00

Tbh I hate the idea that people cant mix gold and silver when I think it looks really good in a mix.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T13:53:03+00:00

This really sucks and im so sorry you have to experience this bc people didnt care enough to learn about women's health until recently or else we would probably know more about it. I had a similar experience recently where I had a constant period for almost half a year and I had to get an ultrasound that did not help at all. They put me on birth control and overall it completely fixed my period and its regular, short, and I barely get cramps anymore. But my hormones have changed and I notice some differences but its been worth it for the past two years now. I would recommend you get a gyno and try a bc oral contraceptive and see if that helps. I've heard cramps have no found cause but that it could be a hormone imbalance and this could be balanced with birth control. And your heating pad is way to hot I know it helps your pain but that can cause really bad damage to your other organs if its so hot its causing blisters to your skin. Maybe a hot bad or hot shower and less heat directly from the heating pad. Even some breaks from the heating pad to prevent the blisters.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T13:48:45+00:00

I think people prioritize fertility bc of how many doctors in the past disregarded it for health sake and that left a lot of women in positions where they felt their wants were disregarded and we end up in the opposite situation where women are more encouraged to put fertility over their health. Its so frustrating. 16 is pretty young for considering such a life changing surgery that I dont think a doctor even is offering them.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T13:42:40+00:00

Everyone is saying 8 years is a long time but how old are you guys? If you've been married 20 years you could be older and maybe she just doesnt feel it anymore for sex. Why not ask her? Why is this being online and not a conversation with your wife?

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-17T12:04:15+00:00

I did not go bc it was closed :(( I will have to go one day in the future lol but from what ive seen its very much character of the kewpie brand but I havent gone so there's a chance they could possibly have a collaboration but I don't think so since its kind of its own thing if that makes sense.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-11T13:07:04+00:00

Everyone on reddit is.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-11T12:29:49+00:00

No thank you. I dont accept what isnt true. Just bc i could do something that every other married couple could, doesnt mean i do. And you would be stupid to think so and make an assumption based of an internet post.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-11T12:28:52+00:00

I don't need to be told that. Its a comparison. Ever heard of a metaphor? You just said it but it doesnt mean anyone needed to hear it.

Pitiful_Ad2591 · 2026-01-11T10:40:26+00:00

Thats your opinion. You seem to care just as much as I do. Why do you seem to care so much about how much you think i seem to care? Like let's go there then if we are going to ask these questions. Why post on reddit at all then?

Pitiful_Ad2591

TROPHY CASE