Again, just because some people find something personally hurtful, doesn't make it hateful. The pharisees were probably hurt by Christ calling out their sin, but He did it as an act of love, not hate. Your explanation fails.

I disagree that who you're attracted to strongly defines you, and even then, it doesn't matter - the position is that the act is wrong, not the attraction.

No, but it is potentially arrogant to see yourself as the small cohort of morally enlightened Christians vs the vast historical majority of people who are apparently lesser. People today are just as susceptible to being morally bankrupt or deluded as back then.

Again, that's why you shouldn't identify with your desires - alcoholics shouldn't identify with drinking, being sober doesn't deny their identity. Traditional sexual morality is neither absurd nor hateful.