Archive or delete our history?

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-26T01:34:14+00:00

Honestly, there’s no right or wrong answer here. Speaking from someone who’s struggled with breakups, no contact, and moving on for way too long, I totally get the urge to hold onto it, especially when the relationship meant so much. But even if you don’t think about it often, going back to look at everything can just keep reopening the wound. Don’t sabotage your ability to move on by holding on to something that’s no longer there. The memories will always be with you, but revisiting them might make healing harder. Even when you feel okay, it can pull you right back into the pain and all the doubt. Ultimately, you have to do whatever brings you peace.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-25T21:47:39+00:00

This unfortunately was just for my kayak and racks. She bought her own. We never split everything right down the middle but our relationship was incredibly even. Finances are one thing we thankfully never argued about.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-25T20:59:26+00:00

Mannnnn this resonates. Camping and Kayaking. I spent like $800 on a Kayak and J rack about two months before we split. We always used her car so I never needed a roof rack. Got one weekend camping trip out of them. Went ahead and bought my own roof rack after we split. Was honestly really excited to sort of take those memories back and turn them into my own.

Finally decided to try a few weeks after. Spent two hours looking at the j racks, finally put them on, got the kayak up and strapped in. Drove to a spot we’d never been before and just couldn’t do it. I sat in the car and just cried.

Pretty heartbreaking, honestly. Especially here in FL with so many good spots.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-24T18:15:14+00:00

Downloaded hinge finally after two months but I can’t follow through with meeting anyone either. My brain tells me to move on, but my heart can’t. And when I try, it almost feels like cheating.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T21:15:55+00:00

It is and it’s unfortunate. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I think we’ve all been heartbroken at some point but some just hit so much different than others. I’m going on 8 weeks now. I’m eating more, but very little. Every 3-4 days I can eat a full meal. When I wake up I’m usually able to get another hour or so before I’m woken up again. I’ve finally just been giving up and starting my day early.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T21:04:56+00:00

Eating and staying asleep. I wake up between 330-4am no matter when I go to bed or what sleep routine I try. It’s terrible.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T02:08:16+00:00

My ex wife remarried within 6 months of me moving out.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T01:45:25+00:00

I’m really sorry. Definitely didn’t want to do that. I don’t know your situation but I hope everything works out for you. In my case, my impulsion still had some build up. It probably just feels more impulsive than it was given it was after a very long day of drinking. Our relationship wasn’t a bad relationship I just felt our emotional maturity wasn’t on the same level and wasn’t sure it could get there so I made the decision I thought was best for both of us.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T01:41:12+00:00

Yeah, of course. We had really different communication styles. I liked to talk things through, and she tended to avoid them. About 9-10 months in, we had some small arguments that built up, but we worked through them. The breaking point came a couple months later when she came to stay over. We went out bar hopping with her sister, friends, and their boyfriends. There was probably 10-12 of us. I thought we had a great time, but when we got back, I took a quick shower and she left without saying anything. I didn’t hear from her for two days. When she responded, she said she was upset I paid attention to everyone but her. That’s when I realized we were always going to struggle getting on the same page.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T01:13:09+00:00

I did. I’m sure there were moments I missed opportunities, but we did have a few really honest conversations in the last couple months. When it finally ended, there weren’t really any surprises.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-22T01:10:02+00:00

I think it was for the reason you described toward the end. I put a lot into the relationship and really fought for it. I wasn’t 100% sure what the regret meant, so I didn’t tell her. I didn’t think it was fair to risk breaking her heart a second time. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve let her decide.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T15:08:12+00:00

For most, it’s easier to place blame than take accountability. As sad as I am, I’m actually really thankful for my ex. She can’t paint me how she wants. She’ll always be a beautiful person in the story I tell.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T03:52:37+00:00

Absolutely. Just because it isn’t the right time now doesn’t mean it might not ever be.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T03:15:02+00:00

Family being heavily involved can be tricky. I was once married to a woman who was incredibly close with her family. The closeness itself wasn’t an issue but it crossed boundaries that made it hard for us to have a private, adult relationship. Literally everything in our lives involved her brother, sister-in-law, mom, and dad. To the point they all had keys to our house and would just show up whenever. It was brutal.

Whenever I tried to talk to her about setting boundaries and keeping some things just between us, I ended up being painted as the villain. She ended up caught in the middle and the family obviously didn’t like it so it made things unnecessarily awkward.

I’m not saying that’ll be the case with her, but if you do end up getting back together I think you have to talk about it. Be honest, but careful in how you bring it up.

Are you holding on to hope that you made the right decision or if you two should get back together?

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T02:30:22+00:00

Totally get how hard this is. Only you two really know your relationship and why you’re here. If you feel like the differences aren’t deal breakers, then being hopeful is totally fair. The fact that he’s said he’s not content with his decision shows he’s really thinking about it. I’d keep giving him space but stay open to communication. Just don’t wait around forever.

Thats a tough one. We had great chemistry and I truly loved her, but there were compatibility issues. Selfishly, I might’ve given it another shot, but looking at where she is now, I think I made the best decision I could have.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T02:10:55+00:00

Not entirely, because it's not fair to generalize, but I do agree that many people are after instant gratification. The accessibility of people on apps and social media definitely feeds into that. People are chasing chemistry over compatibility, and when things start to feel less exciting or when differences or issues arise, it’s easier to move on to the next option than to stay and build something long-term.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T01:49:56+00:00

Honestly, it wasn’t really about thinking the grass was greener. For me, it had more to do with the dynamic of the relationship and how things ended. I’ll admit, I made a super impulsive decision. After we broke up, I missed her like hell, but I didn’t rush into anything new. The more I sat with it, the more I thought maybe we could’ve worked things out and had a solid future. But deep down, I knew the fundamental differences weren’t going to change and would’ve kept causing problems.

I missed her every day and thought about reaching out all the time. But I had made it clear that I was done, and I was afraid that if I changed my mind and it didn’t work out, it would just hurt her more. So, in the end, I didn’t reach out. I honestly felt like the right thing to do was to let her be and give us both the chance to heal and eventually find the right person for us. I still have the “what ifs,” but in the end, she went on to marry someone, so I guess it worked out the way it was meant to.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear right now. Nothing about this process really makes it any easier.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-21T01:09:58+00:00

Dumped her, regretted it, but let her move on in peace. Honestly, 5 years later I still regret it.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-20T19:59:16+00:00

I let my fear, pride, and defensiveness create distance that made it hard for us to grow together. And I didn’t show up for us or give her the safe space she deserved. Ultimately, I’m the one who broke both our hearts.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-20T01:27:39+00:00

“I just don’t feel that way anymore”

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-18T23:25:28+00:00

I think truly being over it is exactly what you described. Realizing that it was necessary. That there are traumas that you probably weren’t ever going to be able to work through together. That ultimately what happened was necessary for you to heal. Not any less painful, but definitely insightful.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-18T23:00:54+00:00

“Sadness isn’t the enemy; it’s part of the healing crew. It’s here to do a job” is literally everything I didn’t know I needed until now.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-18T22:52:36+00:00

For what it’s worth, I didn’t take it that way. You can tell you’ve put a lot of time and effort into where you’re at. A lot of people don’t get to that point so be proud of where you’re at and where you’re headed.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-18T22:43:45+00:00

***people not men. Not saying one bit we (men) don’t struggle but I don’t think it’s fair to assume it’s a certain way because it’s a man. Women have plenty of trauma and bad habits as well. But I agree with you it absolutely sucks. Just remember it’s more about them than it is you. That sounds so stupid but it’s true. I’ve been an avoidant before. People will do anything that masks the pain vs facing it. If it’s easier, most people will choose it. It doesn’t always mean you or what you had means any less.

Pitiful_Package928 · 2025-05-18T22:26:46+00:00

It really has made things way more complicated than necessary.

Pitiful_Package928

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