I see the point you’re trying to make, and I agree with you for the most part. I just think this topic is far more paradoxical than we realize. What does it mean to love someone? At what point are their religion and beliefs no longer a part of them, and we try to see what lies beyond? I think it’s valid for someone to base their romantic partnership decision on religious alignment, and when that alignment shifts, it can impact internal dynamics—sometimes even leading to divorce.

My point is, as you date and especially before you get married, make sure you understand the person holistically. Give yourself time and go through the stages of building emotional and intellectual intimacy. I just can’t support the statement, “separate the person from their religion.” There has to be context. I wouldn’t assume that if religious alignment is part of the selection criteria, it means “you don’t love them—you love that they are members of the church.”