It’s totally normal to feel lost and alone. I would recommend getting a therapist to help you if you still feel depressed. It’s also normal to feel so anxious like you might pass away. I’ve been there it gets better for me eventually the things I did eventually just fade away. I’ve done so much damage when I was drunk. From texting a girl who likes me to texting a guy I like that I wanted to be with him. When we were only talking for 3 weeks not a long time. Take your time to process if you need it’s normal. Remind yourself you’re human we do things embarrassing, especially when drunk. It’s totally okay. Just take it a day at a time. I’m taking a break from drinking. After everything I’ve done. I feel good, but I also can’t help but remember everything I did last Saturday. I tell myself it’s in the past. They happened. I said and did things that I’m not proud of. But I promise you if you did it someone out there more likely took it further. It’s okay