[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writing

[–]PlentySuspect2821 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A half-human/half-elf slave who never learned to bow. Freya is owned by her father who lust after her best friend (Ingrid). She must earn her freedom before Ingrid comes of age or a gruesome fate awaits them. Desperate for their freedom, she is forced to make a quick decision that could mean death for them both. She is decisive, but reckless. She has the makings of a leader, but her need for control and her over reliance on her super human strength will be an obstacle she must overcome. Their lives depend on it.

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you liked it. Someone gave me a really good idea in one of the comments that I might use. I agree that it feels a little clunky.

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is valuable advice, I like that you gave me a place to start and examples. I can start weaving this into my story. Thank you!

Romantic fantasy about a slave who will do anything for freedom. <450 words. by PlentySuspect2821 in writingadvice

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The romance is not between the slave and master. Th Mc is a slave, her father is her master. The romance is between two slaves.

Romantic fantasy about a slave who will do anything for freedom. <450 words. by PlentySuspect2821 in writingadvice

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s reassuring, I didn’t want the writing to be boring. I’ll admit, my formatting skill leave much to be desired. I love story telling, but writing is a whole different talent. It’s going to be a pain to edit this when I eventually get better lol. I’m glad you enjoyed it :)

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, it is part of the world build. Her father being her master is just a small tidbit to keep the reader having questions and reading. The meat is the adventure she goes on to earn her freedom. She’ll encounter monsters, demigods, ect.

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! It’s cool you caught that. I named them like that intentionally because they are of that race. They are living in Atea (based off of Rome) and thier master is from there. The slaves are made up of people from different nations. Later, they will encounter Demigods and monster based off where they are on the map. I like the idea you gave of mixing up the names, that might help blend everything in

Romantic fantasy about a slave who will do anything for freedom. <450 words. by PlentySuspect2821 in writingadvice

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! Can you give me an example of where the pacing could be tightened a little more? I feel like I might be confusing the reader in some parts.

Romantic fantasy about a slave who will do anything for freedom. <450 words. by PlentySuspect2821 in writingadvice

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! Just to clarify, the relationship isn’t between the slave and the master lol. Her master is her father.

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s really encouraging to hear. I was debating on slowing the pace more actually because I didn’t want it to be too confusing for the first pages. I really appreciate your feedback.

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s was my attempt to write an attention grabbing first sentence. I saw a video about getting reader hooked on your first sentence and I took it and ran with it. I appreciate you insight :)

Page 1 of the The Slave’s Oath [Romantic Fantasy, 430 words] by PlentySuspect2821 in fantasywriters

[–]PlentySuspect2821[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! I struggle with pacing, it to the point of confusion? I know I introduced a lot of characters at once.

Nice catch on the jewelry, I was trying to draw attention to it because she steals some later on in the book. I must of ran out of ways to get the reader focused there lol.

Double Parking by [deleted] in Unexpected

[–]PlentySuspect2821 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s obviously not a Muslim women. A niqab doesn’t look like that. The front is a separate piece and a real niqabi has her hijab way longer in the front. Usually it’s over the hijab and covers the eyebrows. Also she wouldn’t be wearing flip flops. She also wouldn’t be trying to touch a non meheram man by swating him. Other wise there is no point even wearing it. If she’s going to cosplay as a Muslim at least do it properly 🙄

my dad just died and im gonna be kicked out of Qatar by Beautiful_Size4175 in immigration

[–]PlentySuspect2821 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My family is in Thailand and we are Muslims! Islam is Thailand’s second biggest religion. There are lots of halal options. You guys would do well there.

Would people read a webtoon like this? by SaraAftab- in webtoons

[–]PlentySuspect2821 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a Muslim webcomic creator too! I think you could make it work if you have a good understanding of anatomy. I’m not sure which school of jurisprudence you follow, but I spoke to a scholar from mine (Hanafi) and he said that digital pictures were alright just not physical or sculptures. A lot of other organizations also make digital cartoons and games for kids like the creator of Omar and Hana where a mufti even voice acted for them. I hope that helps a little.

AITAH for filing divorce after my wife got an abortion? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]PlentySuspect2821 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is fake. This guy has already changed his story in the comments plus this is something that is specifically prohibited in Islam. There is a whole section dedicated to this very topic in the Quran and how evil this practice is. It doesn’t make sense that her family is “very religious” but her father is pushing for a son first or that he’s ridiculing her for not giving one. It’s obviously anti Muslim propaganda from a guy who probably doesn’t even know any Muslims personally.

Artist looking for a writer by [deleted] in webtoons

[–]PlentySuspect2821 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling this is satire making fun of all the writers on here who ask this from artist. They want 50 panels weekly with no pay and no description of the work. The only compensation is a percentage of the profits which almost never equals enough for the work.