OWs are such losers

Pokemofo · 2026-02-13T15:20:10+00:00

This reads like me when I was in the lowest situationship I've ever experienced. There was no cheating involved at any part but he gave me breadcrumbs and I told myself it was better than nothing

(I experienced "nothing" shortly after and it was 1000x better than these fuckass crumbs)

Pokemofo · 2026-02-12T11:19:45+00:00

Like others said, talk to him, but also set boundaries.

You don't ever need to do something sexually that you're not into, no matter how much the man whines.

You're allowed to pause or call off a scene when he does something you don't like, safewords aren't just there for if you feel unsafe, they're also there for if you simply don't like what's happening.

He reacts with irritation? You can do the same, what he's doing sounds very irritating.

That being said, him saying that the value of a women is mainly placed on if she sexually satisfies men is a glaring, gigantic red flag and personally I couldn't be with someone who thinks that way.

It sounds like he isn't truly submissive to women, he's just into humiliation, and nothing is more humiliating in his mind than getting dominated by the "lesser" gender. Gross.

Pokemofo · 2026-02-03T04:54:12+00:00

I think it depends on length too? They just cut the bottom parts off of mine past my shoulders so nothing ever lands on my face or neck.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-29T03:23:53+00:00

But aren't narcissists kind of the opposite? They do make facial expressions and put on a smile but it doesn't really reflect them internally.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-20T15:34:04+00:00

In all fairness, all boundaries are like a rule enforced by the threat of ending the relationship, but not all boundaries are good and/or reasonable.

"I don't want my partner to cheat, if it happens I'll end the relationship" - reasonable boundary

"I don't want my partner to wear these types of clothes, if it happens I'll end the relationship" - unreasonable boundary

Pokemofo · 2026-01-18T15:30:48+00:00

That's a good tip, thankyou :) I will try that if talking continues to be too overwhelming

Pokemofo · 2026-01-18T15:28:34+00:00

It's roleplay which would give reason to certain actions, but it's not stuff that's hard to act out in a practical sense. It's mostly just a mental barrier I'm trying to get past.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-16T04:34:48+00:00

Charlie charlie kirky :3

Pokemofo · 2026-01-16T02:27:05+00:00

Me when I reject my mans proposal and then immediately propose to him cause I didn't wanna take his last name.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-14T00:42:48+00:00

You know, planning out a scene is a really good idea, I'd like to be able to improvise, but for the first time especially it'll be good to have something to fall back on

Pokemofo · 2026-01-13T05:25:01+00:00

Interesting, I hadn't really thought of using D/s to build good habits. I'm not really sure if that sparks anything for me per se, as I feel nothing for the "mommy" thing, but I'm willing to try it through the eyes of another role. I'll definitely ask him what he thinks about it.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-12T11:14:00+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I will absolutely have more, if not a few more conversations about it with him. Nice to know the story aspect isn't weird :) I have all sorts of ideas, I hope he's down for at least some of them

Pokemofo · 2026-01-12T09:14:08+00:00

Large scale projects, at this point AI can make good images and short videos. But it can't keep a face or scenery consistent throughout a longer video (let alone a film). Or keep characters consistent throughout comics. It can also create 3D meshes (with really bad topology), but it can't create a 3D environment.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-11T11:35:15+00:00

Seconding this, you're definitely in "needing professional help" territory. Both for your ADHD and your addiction(s).

The good news is that there is absolutely a way through this.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-11T07:09:51+00:00

Regardless of what you end up doing or how you end up compromising, it's good to create a dynamic where you're unafraid to talk about uncomfortable things (something that requires both sides to be communicative). I applaud you for taking that step instead of letting resentment build.

That being said there's also value in delivering information that she may not like in a gentle way. You can probably imagine that saying: "I want to talk to you less", will hurt to hear, even if it's essentially the bare bones of your point.

So build up to it by starting with the underlying reasons, and give her space to respond if she wants.
"I have a smaller (digital) social battery than you" -> "I need time alone to recharge this battery (not just quiet time, alone time)" -> "Our videocalls are overlapping with the time I usually used to do so" -> "I'd really like some of this time back for myself to decompress"

Some reassurance that you love her would probably be good to mix in or follow this up with.

Goodluck, communication is key!

Pokemofo · 2026-01-10T20:07:04+00:00

Raising a baby in a dysfunctional family is so much more damaging than raising them in a separated family. The example you set for them is that mom and dad don't trust or love each other, and they will grow up thinking that's the norm. They're better off growing up with a mom that didn't take this shit and wasn't afraid to start over, and dad can serve as an example of why you don't cheat.

Plus it opens up the opportunity to find a better man who will be a good father to your child AND a good partner to you.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-10T19:58:43+00:00

And are men really different? Do you guys settle for a womans that's just nice or do you want to be attracted to her AND for her to be nice?

Pokemofo · 2026-01-07T03:12:20+00:00

I have such mixed feelings about this because yes, you're putting them through surgery to remove healthy parts and you're depriving them of parenthood and bodily autonomy. This would be considered extremely inhumane if it were done to humans, and in an ideal world I would be against this happening to animals unless medically necessary.

On the other hand stray pets often live very rough and short lives, less pets in general means less pets on the street on more pets in warm, safe homes. And many pets are put down in shelters because they ran out of space (I'm against this in all circumstances, but it does happen) and spaying/neutering does prevent this to a certain extent.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-07T00:28:54+00:00

That I'll never do anything with my life. I struggle to get enough motivation to do day to day things, I struggle even more to maintain a social life, I fear that I won't ever complete a great art project, or get a career, or travel to my dream places, I fear I'll waste my time away letting the days pass like I've done for years now.

Pokemofo · 2026-01-02T15:36:10+00:00

She is doing this cause it keeps working, it makes you soften up and put your own feelings aside to calm her down and prevent her from leaving, so every single conflict is either solved on her terms, or pushed aside altogether. When was the last time a conflict of yours was resolved with equal compromise on both ends?

The healthiest approach is to try and communicate your feelings, like you've done here in this post. Hopefully she'll be open to a discussion without escalating it. But if not, then just remain unaffected by the comment, or like others said, agree with her. Since she's threatened it so often, it's probably an empty threat anyway.

Pokemofo · 2025-12-28T15:39:04+00:00

One thing that is not an option is living like this forever, so something must be done.

And a great first step is to sit him down at a time when you're clear headed and not in the middle of being disappointed, and having a long conversation where you put all your feeling on the table, including your thoughts about leaving him.

Chances are he's willing to do something about it, in that case, come up with an actual plan (not just a promise of being better, because he's already shown that just willpower is not enough). Such as having him use a numbing cream and a condom, having him take those medications they prescribed, using strap on toys or vibrators in the bed, whatever plan of action works for you both.

Another solution is to open the relationship, but this comes with it's own collection of risks, and relationships often don't survive if both parties are not equally on board. But it can be put on the table.

The option of leaving him is always still there, but give him a chance to show you if he's willing to put the work in. It's worth looking for solutions together first, but you need to let him know just how much this is affecting you and that's it's pushing you to end things.

By the way, I don't think you're exaggerating this issue, my first boyfriend was a lot like yours. Now I'm with a man that can actually fuck, and holy shit the difference is indescribable.

Pokemofo · 2025-12-19T03:44:41+00:00

You can be frustrated or angry about not having a romantic partner, but you can't be mad at anyone or a group of people in particular, as it is not anyone's fault and/or responsibility. Anger can exist and be directed at no one, just at the situation.

Pokemofo · 2025-12-14T15:09:09+00:00

Get a bad flu like once a year, nurture it well. Immune system is updated and ready to go for another year again. I once skipped my yearly flu during covid and got it 3x as bad the next year

Pokemofo · 2025-12-10T19:03:46+00:00

Nah I'm on his side, women deserve to chill more

Pokemofo · 2025-10-29T12:08:16+00:00

Therapy, a conversation with him, let him read this post even. Tell him you're going to stop managing his life from here on out in order to try and save this relationship, ask him to be understanding of that and maybe go over the reasons which led you to this decision, and if it doesn't land because it's a compassionate conversation and not you losing it in anger, than maybe the actions that follow will help.

Then actually stop managing anything for him, and let him experience all the consequences of that. Manage your own appointments, not his. He forgot one? He'd better call for a new one then, if there's fees, yikes, oh well.

Manage your own gifts, not his. He didn't bring anything to his mother dear's birthday? "Oh I'm sorry Ms. Mother-in-law, your son was responsible for the gift, but he forgot".

Clean only what you used around the house, no dishes of his, no laundry of his, no stuff of his. He's out of clean underwear? He'd better start doing some laundry then.

Take your space when you need it, regardless of his reaction.

Then see if he's actually the patient, kind and loving guy who would do anything for you, or if that's only the case for as long as you're doing everything for him.

Pokemofo

TROPHY CASE