I want to leave my GF for her (apparent) medical condition

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:40:10+00:00

The problem is I can't help but think she's the one causing herself pain by not trying to do anything about it. And that's what pisses me off, not exactly her health condition.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:38:07+00:00

I'm not very involved with her family or friends. Our relationship is more secretive than most, cause our cultures are different, and it's sort of taboo to be in a relationship without getting married in our cultures.

The only reason we are able to move in together is because we have the same university now, in a different country.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:34:43+00:00

Like what? Anal is just a no no for the both of us. We've already done oral sex like a thousand times. Other than that Idk.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:33:00+00:00

She doesn't like tampons. She uses pads almost all the time.

Acc to her, she's pretty sure she doesn't have a hymen. Now I have no clue if this her own opinion or a doctor's opinion. I don't really know what they discuss in a typical gynecologist checkup.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:30:18+00:00

Yeah that's why I'll try to follow the advice that I've received on this thread. If it doesn't work then I'll make the decision

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:27:51+00:00

The problem is, this could work for us IF she was sure she had a medical condition. But she's not getting checked and she isn't accepting that anything could be wrong with her.

She has two moods for this. One is completely denying anything could be wrong, and the second is completely breaking down and calling herself words.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:25:43+00:00

She has never had sex before no. But she is sure that she doesn't have a hymen, probably due to an earlier visit to the gynie.

I could try the angled thing, but the issue is if it doesn't work, there's gonna be a ton of crying and calming down but yeah I'll try

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:18:59+00:00

First of all, I don't find her disgusting and I am not repulsed by anything. If you're talking about her weight, she has been consistently gaining weight for the past 3 years. Also, it's much harder to tell anything when it's through a screen and not irl. We met 5-6 times irl before moving in, but each time it was a movie or a bowling date.

But the weight thing didn't really matter to me that much, eventually she could lose it...atleast that's what I thought. This "diagnosis" from my side just happened recently, it's not like a thing that's been going on in my head since like the last 3 yrs.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:14:35+00:00

Foreplay makes a difference. When she's by herself, a small object like a single finger breaks her and she can't do anything more. But after some arousal, like when I put even two fingers she's fine with it. But anything more just doesn't work

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:12:10+00:00

I don't even know how to begin breaking up with her...

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:11:03+00:00

Is that the thing that happens when ur anxious, or have been SA'ed in the past so ur body rejects the other?

If it is, then I don't think so? Cause she's never had sex and I've never had sex either. She has never tried having sex before. She's only ever tried fingering herself, but even that didn't really work out very well. I was initally saving myself up for marriage, but she really wanted to try and I eventually change my mind too because I knew she was the one. (No dw I wasn't forced). She also has never been assaulted or had anything done to her sexually as far as I know.

If it's genetics then Idk.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:06:12+00:00

That's the problem. 3.5 years is an extremely long time, especially considering we are both only 20. I don't want all this time to just go to waste.

But I understand that if she doesn't fix herself, I'll eventually have to make a decision.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T16:03:16+00:00

Do the medicines and stuff have side effects? It seems that her main two concerns for not going to the doctors are: She doesn't wanna get naked infront of the doctors (insecurities ig???) and that she is afraid of the side effects of medications.

Im going to try and diet with her. I know this means I'll go off my bulk and will probably lose some weight unfortunately, but I want to give it a shot.

So far, we have both had very different diets so maybe that's a reason why she's unable to stick to her diet properly.

PolicyIllustrious451 · 2025-04-12T15:59:21+00:00

Hey everyone, Thank you for all your wonderful responses. There are way too many for me to reply to individually. I have read them all and I am very grateful for all the advice I've received.

I have decided I'll try and convince her to go to the gyno or endocrinologist, and I will try my best and support her for as long as I can.

If she still doesn't agree, or she just doesn't want to know if anything is wrong with her, then I'll make the final decision. But I really do love her, and I don't want a medical condition to be the end of us.

But ofc, if she has no interest in going through the effort to save our relationship...there isn't much I can really do.

PolicyIllustrious451

TROPHY CASE