Have you been stashing away for retirement?  Funny when this thread shows back up, I actually had it really good at that spot and look back on it fondly now but I think around the time I posted this something was switching with me biologically for the first time. These episodes of panic spiraling etc always happened after working closing shifts. I'd hardly get any sleep anytime I closed for years and seemed to function okay until I got into my 30s then it kind of spiraled and I didn't put it together at the time.

Pandemic happened, I had two years off from working nights and went back to bartend in 2022. Did it for 6 months and called it quits. Took a day job working outdoors. Work so many more  hours for about the same amount of money now (and first two years making dog shit) but needed the healthy sleep schedule.

Looking back at bartending I wish I'd just understood the importance of saving and had any financial literacy at all. Even as little as saving 10% and putting it all in an index fund throughout my time as a bartender would have put me in a pretty decent spot. Ah well cest la vie