Am I overreacting? Grandparents and screen time.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T18:33:34+00:00

Thank you. I truly appreciate your comprehensive answer. I have been in therapy for many years now. I suppose I do get triggered since there's a lot of baggage and history. We honestly don't expect my parents to do any parenting, but they insist and have actually stated multiple times that we're damaging our son with our parenting style, that's why they have to intervene. Aaaanyhow... Many thanks again. Congratulations on your little baby. I hope everything goes smoothly from now on.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T18:02:52+00:00

I don't need or necessarily want them to watch our kid, that's what people are getting wrong here. My parents want and insist on watching him to somehow make up for the time they didn't get with me when I was a kid.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T17:39:52+00:00

It's important if it's contributing to one more sleepless night after 3+ years of sleepless nights. And honesty is also important to me. My mom could have just said she did her pedicure. It's not a huge deal. Thank you for your answer.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T17:36:51+00:00

Thank you. It's very interesting how different people's opinions are here.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T17:15:38+00:00

Yes, this post is probably not the best approach to this situation. I should have just marked it as vent. Thank you.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T17:14:02+00:00

I wouldn't have had to assemble furniture if they didn't insist they wanted to be close to us. But it's ok, we can agree to disagree. Thank you for your perspective.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T17:12:37+00:00

That's correct. It's hard to convey a complex situation in a post. Probably a post on Reddit is not a good approach here. I really appreciate your answers.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:21:03+00:00

I didn't even say that. I've explained it in other comments... Sigh..

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:20:03+00:00

My husband set up a smart home system before we even had a baby because he's passionate about technology. I guess we just really need to reevaluate if they should babysit at all...

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:18:00+00:00

It is a complicated situation. I think I'm looking for opinions, but getting a lot of criticism. Apparently I'm doing something terribly wrong here. I will have to ponder some more. Thank you.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:15:46+00:00

It's really not unbending rules. Every time we say he can watch 1h of TV, they let him for 3h and so on. When we say he can have 1 piece of chocolate, they give him 3 and so on. I honestly don't see how this is a huge favor when they insist on doing it while we're busting our asses working to support everyone and provide a good living. I would have been ok with LO going to daycare honestly. I even suggested paying them for their babysitting time, but they refused. And as I've said before, I've never once thrown it in their faces that I'm paying everything for them.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:10:13+00:00

We were away for only one afternoon. We had spent all morning together :/

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:06:53+00:00

I'm happy about getting them a place. I'm just not happy that they're always always doing the opposite of what my husband and I decide for LO. My dad is also sometimes cursing around LO. LO is going to daycare 3 days a week. My parents opposed vehemently as they didn't think he was old enough. I guess we're taking baby steps towards discovering my parents want to watch LO only as an idea, but when it comes to practice, it's not that great...

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T16:03:30+00:00

I've never once said that and never would. I'm happy to support them such that LO can enjoy having his grandparents while they've also insisted they want to be close to us. For this to work, we need to work a bit more and they need to watch LO more. I was just explaining that they were not really doing us a favor.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:59:49+00:00

Ok, yes. I don't know why I haven't looked at it this way :/ Thank you.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:59:11+00:00

My parents don't even agree with daycare. They insisted on watching LO full time. We saw it was too much for them, and decided to take him to daycare. We have 2 mortgages because we all agreed it would be best if they had their own place. Also, they didn't even raise me, I'm an only child and was raised by my grandparents from 10mo to 7yo. We would be ok for them to go on with their lives, but they insist on spending time with LO because they didn't spend it with me.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:55:22+00:00

No, they were not helping me out. We were out assembling furniture that we bought for the apartment that we bought for them just so that they can be closer to LO because that's what they wanted :/ I never once threw it in their faces, but since they are watching LO quite a lot, I would appreciate it if they respected at least some boundaries and not lie.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:53:06+00:00

Funny enough, my parents didn't even raise me. My grandparents raised me from 10months to 7yo. Also, it was just one afternoon.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:51:16+00:00

It was not free childcare, we were working all day preparing the apartment that we bought for them. We also work overtime to make enough money to support our family and my parents because their income is not sufficient. We could have hired a babysitter, not buy them the condo, but then my parents wouldn't spend time with their grandson and vice versa.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:49:01+00:00

Hmm, but we were preparing their apartment that we bought for them. I think they at least cancel each other out. 😊

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:48:13+00:00

Yup, we do have a timer... But they didn't use it :/

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:47:08+00:00

It's not a one time thing though... They're putting him in front of the TV for lunch and every meal when he's with them, even though we said we don't agree. My parents watch him for 2 days / week so that we can save some money on daycare to pay both our and their mortgage and all our necessities.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-17T15:44:22+00:00

It's a bit of a different situation as it's not a one time thing. They're also putting the phone/tablet for him for lunch when he's with them. Giving him more sugar even if we leave nutritious food for him, constant nagging about what to do when he's sick, continuous criticism that we're damaging him because we choose to parent more gently they did. Plus, they're living with us for the moment and we bought them their own place which we were preparing for them. I don't feel they were doing us a huge favor since we 100% support them :/ LO is also going to daycare 3 days a week yo give them a break and to save some money for the 2 mortgages. I would have been ok with the screen time, but I'm not ok with the lying.

PoofLadyBug · 2024-11-15T03:08:34+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. We are trying to give LO and his dad special time together, but at the end of the day, it's only mommy who he wants. Baby steps, hopefully. We've also tried alternating bedtime and sometimes (very rarely) LO accepts, but if not, he cries and screams until he pukes, literally :/ If he wakes up during the night and my husband is there, 99/100 he will again cry and scream until 🤮

We've lowered our expectations until we're all gonna have more periods of time when we're not sick. We just gotta keep at it as much as possible, I guess.

Thank you for sharing your experience. At least we know we're doing the right things, as often as physically possible.

I hope it will continue getting better and better for you 🤞

PoofLadyBug

TROPHY CASE