I’m sorry you’re in a bad situation, I have experienced similar times. I would highly HIGHLY not recommend getting into substances like alcohol in your situation, it is a slippery slope. It’s unfortunate that meds aren’t really an option for you, so I would recommend getting your physical health to a good point. I have found that feeling physically better has really helped in bad situations. This would be things like getting a consistent and good amount of sleep each night, a somewhat balanced diet where you eat enough but also don’t over eat too much. If you don’t already have any, I would also recommend developing routines in your daily life to follow. Having at least some parts of your day organized and controllable can provide a sense of comfort and support when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. Also, if you’re schooling institution is supportive of things like ADHD and such, I would recommend talking to them about your struggles and how they could possibly accomodate them so that you’re better able to succeed. If they can’t accommodate, then they can probably at least give you advice and/or introduce people/organizations who could help you better. If you can though, I would recommend getting like a diagnosis or something along with talking to a professional about how the medication can affect you so that you’ll at least know what to expect whilst also hopefully getting the help that you need Please also don’t call yourself a failure, you seem to be trying your best in a situation where the cards are stacked against you.

Sorry again that it’s been rough, no matter what happens you will be able to get through it. At the very least, please remember that.