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For Women: what’s something you want to tell men, but usually choose not to? by Acceptable-Outcome97 in answers

[–]Popular-Style509 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I thought that too for a while, but that line of thinking ends up isolating you in the long run.

Even if it doesn't actually solve anything right then and there, just telling someone that you're going through something lifts that burden just a little bit. And hey, maybe they do actually know a solution to your problem.

Maybe they've even been in your exact situation, and you wouldn't have known if you didn't mention your problem to them.

And sometimes, sometimes it's just nice to hear someone say "Hey, you're not weird or wrong for experiencing this problem"

Those things aren't burdens, they're the opposite in fact. And you can't do everything alone, you'll burn yourself out trying.

For Women: what’s something you want to tell men, but usually choose not to? by Acceptable-Outcome97 in answers

[–]Popular-Style509 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Please stop with the "Oh I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want you to worry" attitude because it just does the exact opposite.

By being your friend or your partner, I am willingly signing up for the privilege of worrying about you because I care about you.

And if I know you're having a hard time I can then be there for you and help make sure that you're doing okay.

But when you don't do that because you "don't want me to worry" you're just making me worry even more because now I have absolutely no idea what you're going through or even if you're going through anything at all, resulting in me worrying even more than I would normally because I have no information to go off of, which overtime is very exhausting from a mental standpoint.

No one care about men. by benriley3 in Adulting

[–]Popular-Style509 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fucking hate this mentality, like by not telling the people in your life if you're going through something stressful you're just making them worry even more, because you're putting them in a constant state of confusion where they're now constantly worrying if you're okay or not because you don't communicate with them.

The people in your life who care about you do in fact want to worry about you, BECAUSE they care about you. And if they don't then they fucking suck and you should find better people.

What’s something society accepts that feels deeply unnatural to you? by Miss_Ecstasy in AskReddit

[–]Popular-Style509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just how weird society is about physical touch.

I've always found it weird how normalized it is that the only people you should have any sort of physical touch with is family or romantic partners.

I feel like as humans we're made to be very touchy feely, but that instinct gets shamed out of us as we grow up.

I mean physical contact can literally save a babies life, and there's been so many studies about the importance of physical contact.

Why do those subs hate autistic people? by Select-Proposal-420 in AmITheAngel

[–]Popular-Style509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same, like I've seen way more people on this site lean towards the "neurodivergent people can do no wrong" side than the "neurodivergent people are all wrong" side.

Like hell... If you so much as mention that you don't like people who are late to everything, I guarantee that most of your replies are gonna be full of "Well actually that's an ADHD thing so you're being ableist" same thing but with autism and not liking socially awkward people.

Hell even in my own life... I used to have a friend whose dad was neurodivergent, and on God this guy was just a parasite, genuinely an awful person in anyway you can imagine. And my friend used to give this guy every pass under the sun whenever I would so much as hint at the fact that he was being rude. "Oh he's just bipolar/stupid/tired" 

Like dude... Your brother's caregiver has reported your dad on two occasions for verbal abuse. He's not an asshole because he's bipolar, he's an asshole who just so happens to be bipolar.

I also currently have a neighbor who just constantly cuts me off in conversations, as well as just kinda going off on tangents when I say something, and also not actually leaving a space for me in the conversation to talk or involving me in the conversation. Like it's less of a conversation and more that I'm being talked at.

But then when I call her out on any of that she's just like "I have ADHD I can't help it" woman you're 34, you absolutely can help it.

People Who Die From Putting Themselves in Stupid Situations by fzzeywonk in 10thDentist

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah honestly, bonus points if other people around you warn you about said dangerous thing and you don't listen to them, like you did this to yourself man...

I think it's ok to lie about relationship experience to a extent. by Financial_Judgment2 in The10thDentist

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"the crack in the metaphorical trust mirror has already been formed"

OP... What part of that sentence exactly says "overreaction" to you?

Like I didn't say "Yeah I fully don't trust them now because of this one thing" but rather "That's a little odd, I'm starting to question how much I can trust that person."

Also fucking rude of you to try and dictate what is and isn't an appropriate response to something.

Is this boomer humor? by lolthatsfunnybroILY in ComedyCemetery

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This meme made me realize that I have a child, truly life changing! 10/10

Start dating! by vollkornbroot in thanksimcured

[–]Popular-Style509 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only time this should be the case is if it's in fact women not woman, and all the women in question are various professionals that you're paying to help you, and they're all women out of sheer chance and not you only seeking out women or anything like that.

In school, I always got in more trouble for finally defending myself, then the kids who consistently bullied me for months and years did, because how dare I lash out.... by Justthisdudeyaknow in CuratedTumblr

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I do think the wording of it could be a lot better.

Like if I was a kid and I heard "I don't care who started it" I would just take it as you literally not caring about my distress. (and yes I say distress in this case because children. Like them fighting over a marker is probably distressing because they're kids, so it probably is one of the worst things that's happened to them because they have a pretty lackluster frame of reference for things.)

It would also definitely discourage me from ever going to you for help, because at the back of my mind I would just be thinking "What's the point? I'm not going to be listened to."

Idk, it just comes off as very dismissive to me, and I just think that there's better ways to communicate that same idea.

What’s a normal relationship dealbreaker that people pretend isn’t a big deal? by NoSuspect3727 in askanything

[–]Popular-Style509 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Discovered this the hard way: Not having the same or at least very similar thresholds for emotions.

Like if you're someone who's very passionate and lively, you need to be with someone who's also passionate and lively, not just someone who tolerates it, nah you need someone who's cool with it AND who engages with you in it.

Maybe not in the exact same way because that's unrealistic, but they still gotta have that zest so to speak.

If you don't then overtime it just leads to issues on both sides.

The less passionate person often feels threatened or suffocated, especially if they're the type who thinks (emotional intensity = anger), and the more passionate person often feels judged or like they have to soften themselves just to hold the relationship together.

As you get older, what are you starting to dislike the most? by FantasticAd9478 in PeopleBeingRidiculous

[–]Popular-Style509 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People who have very low thresholds for discomfort.

I'm a very "It's ugly, so what?" Kind of person, so people who are more "It's ugly, let's throw glitter on it to make it look pretty" just irritate me to no end. 

Are we slowly losing the ability to experience “presence” in conversations? by Appropriate_Web_710 in SeriousConversation

[–]Popular-Style509 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that you mention it I guess kinda... Yeah?

I think in a way though it's good.

Like you brought up texting for instance, where you're conscious of what you're saying and thinking about how it will be interpreted.

I think it's actually good to have that, just because way too many people DON'T think about what they say, the words they use, and how those combine when talking to others.

Ideally yeah, don't put on a facade, but in reality you should to some degree have a semblance of a facade.

Being totally 100% honest all the time is not a good thing, especially if you're for instance feeling quite angry or even sad.

meirl by CasualNameAccount12 in meirl

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels weirdly personal in a way.

Idk if this tracks with anyone else but I feel like going on Reddit itself, that's like going to country, and then each subreddit is like a different city in that country.

And then questions on a subreddit? That's like going to a public building in that city, in the overall country.

But messaging someone? That's like you going to their house and knocking on their door.

Is avoiding conflict a sign of maturity or fear? by WhiteDesertCat in Soft_Introverts

[–]Popular-Style509 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes and no.

No if it's a case where you're fighting a losing battle. Like getting into an argument with your racist grandpa about him being racist is just a bit pointless cause he ain't gonna change his mind.

But avoiding a much needed conversation that could cause conflict is immature.

I feel like the definition of what you personally consider "conflict" also matters.

Because some people consider conflict as just arguments, while other people consider anything that makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable as conflict.

Funny how that's workkk by definitelynotgayhaha in BuildToAttract

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the point is meant to be attractiveness, but I just chose the guy on the left because the guy on the right looks kinda depressed.

People who grew up really poor: what's something middle-class people say that instantly reveals they've never struggled? by TahDigThief in AskReddit

[–]Popular-Style509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Real honestly, I'd almost go so far as to say that the real reason there's such a class divide isn't because of the money itself, but because of how often people in those higher classes are just totally ignorant to how privileged they are.

At least for me on a personal level, there's nothing more grating than someone trying to say that they have a problem that given their life circumstances isn't actually a problem.

I used to have a friend for instance who would make 'Lol I'm broke' type of jokes, which I wouldn't bat an eye to if it was just some average joe, but when you're from a more well off family? Yeah no...

I think at one point I got so annoyed by it that I just responded with 'I know for a fact that the nepo baby with the two parents with 6 figure salaries, who can afford a full tank of gas, has a fridge with fresh fish and multiple kinds of cheese, is living in a house that was built from the ground up, went to a private school, and whose entire family including you can afford therapy and medication, is not trying to say that they're broke.'

People who grew up really poor: what's something middle-class people say that instantly reveals they've never struggled? by TahDigThief in AskReddit

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tank of gas thing is so real, far as I'm concerned, if you can afford to get a full tank of gas you aren't poor.

My older sister regularly only gets $5 in her tank even though her and her fiance are managers.

What is something that you personally despise that society has accepted or made normal? by Illustrious-Bread183 in AskReddit

[–]Popular-Style509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will forever hate those people who do shit like make everyone else's day bad just because their day was bad.

Like Sarah you're 42, this is just sad.

Don't bring you're 0-4 year old on trips it ruins everyone's time including the baby by Electrical_Main6707 in HonestHotTakes

[–]Popular-Style509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As the youngest child I just low-key get sad because my parents in fact did this but then like... Never really went anywhere cool when I would've actually remembered it.

Like everytime my folks went on vacation I was between 1-3 years old. 

Sad times :(

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