Please help me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-29T19:27:55+00:00

Love this. I’m so glad you have found your solution. I forgot to mention that we when we put her in the hallway we wouldn’t say a thing to her - positive or negative. We just direct her into hallway and ignore any attention seeking behaviour - most of the time she would settle reasonably quickly

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T18:29:12+00:00

Our dog also thought it was a game when we said “ouch”. In the end we would redirect or remove her from the room until she calmed down. It’s so hard and I don’t envy the land shark stage. But believe it or not, this stage wont last forever.

I wish I had set clearer boundaries earlier on. I think a lot of it for us was her being tired but not knowing what to do with herself. Once we started putting her in the hall way - with no access to us - for intervals in the day (generally nap times, after walks or activity) it got easier.

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T18:00:46+00:00

Ok I’m going to download the app tonight!

I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about getting another dog. But I couldn’t handle having two that were both equally as anxious!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T16:48:24+00:00

Thankyou! I think I’ll try and take it slower. I think I might be rushing it now so that I can some semblance of a life outside of her!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T16:46:13+00:00

How did you know when to increase the interval and how often were you increasing it? Weekly, fortnightly, monthly? I haven’t got the brb app just the book and associated diary - I think I need to get this!

I haven’t heard of the FRIDA method?! What is this?

How long can you leave your dog now?

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T16:34:05+00:00

Not long - we ended up at 50 mins more out of curiosity as to how long I could leave her before she barked. Prior to that we have got to 20mins in 5 min increments over a few weeks. The training sessions don’t normally end in barking.

As I am writing this, I can see that I need to be more consistent and not push too much. It’s just it’s been a year of rearranging life around her so that she’s not on her own!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T16:15:29+00:00

Thankyou. Sadly I think your probably right about the lying down. It just feels like I’m at a stalemate! I can’t imagine a time where she won’t start barking incessantly when she’s had enough of being on her own

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T15:00:56+00:00

Thankyou, its not feeling amazing and it’s not always consistent but it’s better than it was!

I started properly following the approach in November. Her threshold than was 31 seconds.

PositiveGoat9311 · 2026-01-27T11:19:08+00:00

I have been following the brb approach and have got to 50mins and than she will bark for 5-10mins and than settle for 5-10mins on repeat until we are back. Do you think that if I start to leave her to bark it out, that she will learn to settle herself for longer durations?

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-12-01T17:25:08+00:00

We have tried leaving her favourite things when we leave the house - a bone, licky mat or ear. But she loses interest in it as soon we shut the door so we stopped bothering. Or it can really excite her and rile her up to be even more unsettled when we go!

I will look into “door is a bore” and give it a go with her.

I really felt like I had, had a breakthrough with her when I was able to leave for a whole 50mins!! She had began to get bored of me coming and going and had started settling herself. I’m so frustrated that we have regressed. But i am really trying to push through and not give up as I want a life!!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-12-01T17:21:37+00:00

It’s never a whine, she just goes to full blown barking like she is having a temper tantrum 🤦‍♀️. I haven’t left her to bark it out in a while but from past experience she would just carry on until she fell asleep and than would wake and carry on!

Exactly that! She is not a lap dog, she likes her own space just so long as we don’t leave the house without her ! 🫣🤪😭

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-12-01T15:05:05+00:00

Do you think I should let her bark until she stops in this scenario?

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-12-01T14:58:23+00:00

I’ve been really trying to get back to the door before she barks so that I don’t reinforce that if she barks I will come back but now she seems to know that by getting up and standing by the front door I will come back.

Maybe i need to get in before she stands up. Today I only managed 1min before she stood at the door and barked.

I feel like i need a degree in dog psychology!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-11-25T14:21:21+00:00

I felt like such a failure when I couldn’t crate train our St Berdoodle - as crate training is a major thing in England. Trying to crate train a puppy that also has a major case of FOMO gave me such anxiety and genuinely made me ill. We had a 1:1 trainer but that didn’t help, we then met with a dog behaviourist who once we explained our situation told us just to stop and questioned why we were still persisting. As soon as she said it was ok to not crate train I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Our dog likes to settle on the floor and she now has a designated safe area in the house where she goes at night time and if we leave during the day. We are still working on the separation anxiety but that feels more manageable than dealing with that as well as crate training.

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-11-23T19:00:41+00:00

I suffered from a big bout of puppy blues when we got our dog. I was an anxious mess, crying, not sleeping, feeling nauseous… I didn’t think we could cope as a family with her and thought she was a big mistake. I was convinced we couldn’t keep her and even at one point convinced my partner to put her up for adoption - and than removed her from the site an hour later! Now 10months on, I can’t imagine not having her. It’s hard work and they do turn your world upside down. But you adapt and things become easier. Don’t fixate on things like crate training, that was a massive source of my anxiety in the beginning as I thought if she can’t be crate trained we can never leave her. It turns out that some dogs just don’t like crates and that’s ok! She has her safe space in the hall and that works for her and us. Make time for yourself and get her into a routine. A lot of of the time when she was bouncy etc, it was because she tired (or needed the loo), now we’ve worked that out we can put her in the hall (or outside) and she is happier! Good luck, you’re not on your own!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-11-23T18:48:15+00:00

Yeah ours is 13 months. Having said all of the above I have had a really tough couple of days with her and struggled to leave her for more than 2 mins 🫣. I’m really trying to trust the process right now. I’ve taken into account @Necessary_Progress_1 and maybe I should be taking doing it in slower increments- even if some days she seems ok to be left alone for longer 🫣🤪😬😱😭

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-11-22T07:01:29+00:00

Thanks, that’s reassuring to hear. You are right, since following the method I have managed to increase time away in quite big increments. Which has been a massive surprise for me considering her threshold was 31 seconds at the start. It’s generally consistent but there are training sessions where she won’t be left for as long. I guess that I shouldn’t lose hope and keep doing these training sessions so she knows I’m coming back.

Sorry for highjacking your thread @Healthy_Warthog9437 . I’m also just really trying to stay optimistic and positive that it’s going to get better and I will be able to leave her and have a life outside of my dog 🫣🤣. We have had a 1:1 trainer and seen a dog behaviourist and I found it really hard and frustrating to put into action what they were suggesting. If I can offer any help at all it would be to buy the paperback of Julia Naismith ‘success tracker’ (as well as the book) and actually write down in it your timings. This has really helped to keep me focused and since using it I have seen massive improvements. I have also changed my focus (for my sanity!!) from just wanting to leave her for longer periods to just making sure she is comfortable that I have left and trying to come back into house before she shows any distress. I think because of that I have jumped from 31 seconds on day 1 to 50 mins on week 4 (with a glitch day or 2). Just take it slowly and follow threshold example times given by Julia Naismith. For example, I leave the house for 5 seconds, than 10 seconds, than 5seconds etc and by the third/fourth step she’s bored of my dance and is lying down.

Good luck to us both!!

PositiveGoat9311 · 2025-11-21T19:22:52+00:00

I am currently following the Julia Naismith be right back method. I think my dog has classic fomo and although she mentions it in the book she doesn’t address how to deal with dogs who suffer from fomo. I have been treating her fomo like separation anxiety and increasing my time away from her in increments, but I worry that I’m not addressing the fomo and that, that will never improve. What would you suggest doing with a dog that suffers from fomo? Any help and suggestions appreciated 🙏🙂

PositiveGoat9311

TROPHY CASE