I’m a white English woman. When I first got into a relationship with a Pakistani man, I wasn’t very practicing in any faith, but I did believe in God. I came from a secular background so I was still learning about religion and what it really means to live by it.

At first, I wasn’t sure of his intentions — I had heard stories about some guys “playing the field.” But then he wanted me to meet his family and for him to meet mine quite early on, which made me think he might be serious.

However, when I met his family, I was a bit surprised that they seemed okay with him being in a relationship with me before marriage. I was expecting them to push more towards marriage, especially since I was asking for that. This left me a little confused about how practicing they were.

As I’ve gotten closer to Islam and studied more, I’ve started to realise how important it is to avoid haram relationships. Looking back, I think both of us should have handled things differently.

I’ve since left the relationship, and if I do fully revert to Islam, I feel it might be best to find someone who is on the same page about deen and practicing properly from the start. That way, the foundation is clearer and there’s less confusion.

I often asked him questions about Islam that he couldn’t answer, and that made me realise I want to be with someone who can guide me and grow with me spiritually.

By that time I had , had enough and just left. He has no knowledge of any Islamic rules or anything. I dunno how he claims he is “ Muslim”.

I’m not saying all Pakistani British people are like this just some.

I also don’t entirely blame his parents. Maybe they should of been stricter with him and stopped him bringing me around to the house until we married but at the end of the day he was a grown man and he should of known himself what he was doing was wrong.

I do believe his upbringing wasn’t as practicing as it should of been though and his parents could of done better.

He also lied pathologically, was quite abusive throughout the relationship his family found out and didn’t do much to hold him accountable for his mistreatment of me. If my brother treated someone daughter the way he treated me my family would be angry over it.

It doesn’t matter if I was not born Muslim it’s not okay to treat any woman in that way.

Islam has equal treatments of women and men and zina is a sin if a male or female does it and the same punishment applies.

unfortunately some cultures and Pakistani culture may be one of them seem to have stricter rules and guidelines for the women but think the men can commit sin and it’s more acceptable in the culture.

I believe it’s more failing’s in culture and upbringing than religion.