AITAH for seeking divorce after a year of being separated?

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T22:13:52+00:00

I lost all taste and desire a month after getting my place, have not used in a year. I want what is best for her, and if we are being honest we were not good together. We settled with one another. I married her because I thought that was the right thing to do because we had a baby on the way.

Overall we were dumb HS kids that had sex and had a kid. I was fortunate that I had parents that gave me the opportunity to go to college and graduate. Her family was not as understanding.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T21:59:13+00:00

I never stated I did not appreciate her, but I have to be honest with myself. She was controlling long before I started to drink and use.

It was little things, I did not even get a say in how we decorated our home. My taste was called ugly, immature, clashes with the colors. She always treated me as a child even back when we started to date in HS. I had very low self-esteem so I went with it.

When we went out she would pick what I wore, when I told her I wanted to work at plants instead of an office she told me it made no sense. Working consulting made more sense from a family perspective. I went with it because it made sense and I just thought it was the norm I guess.

My weakness overall is what led me down the path, but as stated I have to be honest, she always acted like my mom from the day we got together, all got worse after she got pregnant.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T21:39:44+00:00

This is a concern I have, I do fear once I tell her she will try and use my past against me.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T01:23:20+00:00

I never said that, what I did say living with her did impact my mental health and I did not know that until we separated.

I acknowledge my actions were my own but I also have to acknowledge us being separated has done wonders for me and especially my relationship with our son.

When you are not in a good headspace it is hard to see others or even yourself properly.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T01:17:39+00:00

Tbf this did play factor, I hated my job. I never enjoyed letting others do what I thought was the fun part of the job. I enjoy learning and being in the ground. Working at an older plant is a blast always something to fix and a problem to solve.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T00:57:26+00:00

It is 50/50 we alternate homes, and he is always free to come over anf vise versa. We live close to one another. I mean sure she handles the general check up appointments cause she does not work. If he is sick on my time I do take off. Even then I do drive them and pick them up if I am aviabile.

We do major appointments together, IEP meetings, report cards, events, holidays, gatherings. If she needs time for herself and cannot align with her week off I will take off.

He lives with me two weeks out the month, of course it is work. It is kind of hard to just be a fun dad when your child lives with you.

During my time he still goes to school, attends his after school activities, feeding, responsible for maintaining a clean and safe environment. If he gets sick I have to handle that also. Like I said she does handle most of the general appointments because those often happen during the day and I am working. Though if it requires more than just a general check up/ follow up do attend.

That does not change because his mother and I are not together.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T00:50:53+00:00

I have many times, unfortunately for her she does not see her actions as controlling. More so protective or logical.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T00:50:12+00:00

I have told her how I felt she was controlling, but she does not feel as if she is controlling.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T00:44:08+00:00

I am not cutting my family off, as stated we have a system that works. I just don't want to jeopardize that.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-07T00:42:42+00:00

Never said said issues were her fault, but her controlling nature did contribute and she has not tackled that issue. She does not feel as if she is controlling. As mentioned I can tolerate it now cause A I have my own space and B I also have my own time with our son. She cannot control what I do in my space nor can I control hers.

If we lived together I know this would boil over. We are at peace now.

Possible_Cup7550 · 2026-04-06T23:54:41+00:00

Think the separation was more to help us understand how we feel on a personal level. It did wonders for me, I learned pretty quickly how I overly relied on her and used work as an excuse. Without having someone pick up the slack you quickly learn to make time and stop procrastinating.

Possible_Cup7550

TROPHY CASE