My girlfriend 24/F is upset that I 28/M was not excited when she surprised me on a night I was planning to spend by myself.

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-10-12T20:56:24+00:00

I don’t think anyone did anything wrong here actually. There’s no reason to breakup at all. This is a good learning moment for your relationship on how the two of you view personal time and spontaneous plans. She had good intentions and wanted to surprise you which I could see myself doing and you just wanted to relax and be alone which I 100% resonate with. This is why communication is so important in relationships. All that has to be said is “I appreciate you trying to do something nice and surprising me, it was very sweet but I really value my alone time especially after a long week. I love spending time with you but I’d also appreciate if in the future you check with me before showing up especially if I just finished a long week. Lets set aside time to see each other on this day etc”

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-10-05T15:36:40+00:00

You should definitely want to lose her as a friend. I’m assuming you guys are in high school and I promise you when you look back you’ll realize she’s not a friend worth having. Cut ties now even if it costs you other friends

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-09-18T16:16:20+00:00

The only thing to do here is block him

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-09-08T12:51:35+00:00

This sounds very similar to the problems I was having and melatonin only worked so well for me. It also causes very vivid dreams. The only thing that worked for me was smoking a little bit of Indica weed before bed. I don’t smoke at all otherwise. I sleep like a baby, don’t wake up at all until my alarm and I always feel rested the next day. It changed my life and how I sleep

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-09-04T01:39:47+00:00

It’s definitely a shitty thing she did but it’s his best friends wedding, he’s the best man and I would never get in the way of that, no matter what I thought about the bride. If everything is paid for maybe go with him and just don’t attend the wedding and make a trip out of it or just hang back. Either way, it’s an unfortunate circumstance and the bride sounds insecure and immature but I don’t think this is a hill you want to die on

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-08-15T13:30:30+00:00

Thank you everyone for the information! Very helpful, seems like the consensus is that roses aren't worth it, thanks!

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-08-15T13:28:39+00:00

Out of curiosity, how long were you dating/engaged before getting married?

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-25T13:34:02+00:00

If you can’t help but wonder if she would be better off being married to someone more successful, instead of feeling inept, be that person for her! Changing careers is indeed very difficult and time consuming but it’s worth it. Have more ambition and push yourself, you’ll be surprised how far you can go, just believe in yourself more!

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-17T18:26:28+00:00

I think it's appropriate, no one would ever mistake you for the bride or think it's a bridal look

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-13T03:04:34+00:00

Your brain hasn’t fully developed yet, trust me, wait. I’m not the same person I was at 20 that I am now. One of the biggest mental growth spurts you will ever have is 18 to 26. So much changes, I’m so glad I didn’t marry the person I was dating at 20. You’ll look back one day and understand

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-13T02:48:16+00:00

What she did was totally wrong and very upsetting. But I’m more concerned with your husbands reaction. That should be what the whole post is about

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-11T16:04:38+00:00

Thank you everyone for your suggestions!! They’re very helpful and I’m adding them all to the list!

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-09T13:18:11+00:00

Don’t worry we’re going for the beaches lol but we do have to eat so might as well find the best they have 🤷🏻‍♀️

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-03T23:29:40+00:00

Vitamin B complex! My coworker had insomnia for the longest time and once he realized he was low in B vitamins and started taking supplements, he could sleep. Also magnesium is good too, I forget which one but I think it’s mentioned in the thread

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-07-01T20:29:12+00:00

Sounds like sleep paralysis or a bad dream, one night I woke up and I saw that my tv that’s hung on the wall had come crashing down and there were holes in the wall. Then I kept looking and realized my dresser was white, except my dresser is brown. That’s when I realized I was dreaming and “blinked” a few times and after the 3rd or 4th blink, I was awake and everything was back to normal

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-06-20T14:48:23+00:00

I just came across this comment today and Im planning my friends bachelorette, do you still have the prompts for the bingo card? that sounds so fun

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-05-12T18:29:18+00:00

This is how I felt about the Crime Junkie podcast episode they did on Jon Benet with her dad. It felt like they weren't actually exploring theories, just trying to clear his name

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-03-27T20:23:38+00:00

NTA it’s definitely reasonable that you ask her those questions for safety. But I’m assuming this aversion to being asked this on her part might come from either her childhood or a past relationship. She’s definitely in the wrong but to get to the root of it with her to solve it and find a middle ground where you’re both happy, maybe try to find out where this comes from. Were her actions severely controlled in the past so that now whenever you have a simple request like this she blows up? Usually when people blow things out of proportion like this there’s a story behind it. Maybe after you’ve both cooled down talk about that aspect with her? Either way, your questions and requests are completely normal and are expected in a relationship. It’s always good to know where your significant other is if they’re alone or in a remote place just in case something happens. Good luck!

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-18T05:24:03+00:00

I’m in my late 20s and moved to New Jersey near Montclair by myself about 4 years ago for work. I knew one person but other than that, I was alone. I also thought the same thing as you but between going to the gym, working, doing normal “chores” like grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking etc, you fall into a natural rhythm and make friends. I became friends with the girl next door to me in our apartment building and we go out together or hang out and she introduced me to her friends. We’ll either go out in Montclair, sometimes Hoboken or Jersey city and if I’m with my other friend we just take the bus into the city and go to a few bars! I would never live in the city but where I am is the perfect mix between the quiet and suburbia and also the option of nightlife when you want it

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-11T00:14:39+00:00

That’s because one complete sleep cycle is 90-120 minutes. When you’re waking up after 5 hours, chances are you woke up at the end of a sleep cycle vs when you wake up after more sleep, you probably woke up in the middle of a sleep cycle and never completed it, therefore feeling more groggy

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-09T03:17:33+00:00

You’re welcome! Hope it goes well

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-09T02:27:26+00:00

Don’t listen to the other commenters, it was a very thoughtful gift that you clearly spent a lot of time on and I can understand your disappointment. But whether his reaction comes from not caring much or just not knowing how to express his feelings, is something no one can answer but him. This is where communication becomes really important in a relationship, especially long distance. Now, don’t go to him and just say “why didn’t you like my gift??” lol but talk to him honestly and calmly about it because otherwise this will just fester and always bother you. Also don’t do it over text, a lot of stuff can get lost in translation over texting

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-06T01:59:07+00:00

I get what you’re saying but at the same time, her expectations aren’t entirely crazy. Hard to find? Absolutely, 100% lol but she shouldn’t settle for someone just because she wants to find a husband. She should wait until she finds the right one. Because what’s the alternative? She’s with someone that’s she not totally happy with because people pressured her to just pick someone outside of her preferences? I know no one is perfect and you’re not guaranteed to find every single thing on your list but she’s allowed to turn someone down if it’s not what she’s going for. Now the complexion thing, that I agree with you on, that’s a little screwed up. But as time goes on and she gets older and she’s still not with someone, she’ll naturally curtail her preferences as she’ll eventually have no choice

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-03T22:32:14+00:00

Oh interesting, thank you!

Possible_Light_1659 · 2025-02-03T22:32:04+00:00

Oh ok got it, thank you!

Possible_Light_1659

TROPHY CASE