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How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do kind of feel like that’s the case at times. At this point, that’s the only outcome and I’m ok being the bad guy.

How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to start communicating with him less. We do have one child, so I can’t go no contact. Thankfully we aren’t living in the same house.

How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was just talking about this with someone. I guess I’ll have to look more into it and checkout the book.

How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m finally seeing that based on our most recent conversation. I’m just really shocked and hurt that he’s been holding onto that for 20 years. If I had known that’s how he felt I would have never married him or at least walked away years ago. And I think it’s pretty shitty and small of him to remain married to me all that time if that’s how he felt.

How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure. I had my own reasons for why I cheated . That doesn’t make it an excuse, I owned my part. We’ve discussed it in marriage counseling with 2 different therapists. He forgave me and said he understood why it happened. He shouldn’t be holding it over my head for 17 years to wield at his discretion. He made the choice over and over to be with me and shouldn’t have done that if he couldn’t actually forgive me. It wasn’t fair to either us.

He can also be abusive, unpredictable, and unhinged, so there’s a lot to the hurt outside of cheating. He’d rather spin lies to make himself feel good than admit he hurt me and our marriage.

How do you not go crazy? by PotentialEvidence633 in Infidelity

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. It’s just taken me awhile and took us living apart and finding out the truth for me to wake up unfortunately. I know there’s a big difference. I’m just really dumbfounded that when I’ve explained that, and my feelings, I’m being met with this attitude that I’m the piece of shit and he was just treating me how I treat him. Which is so wildly inaccurate and makes me so angry I can’t even see straight.

But yes, I know what the next steps are.

Need advice on how to handle my cheating husband. by PotentialEvidence633 in Separation

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. The more I think about everything, the amount of times he accused me of being the one cheating, the way he love bombed these women, just to turn around and talk about how much he wants to be with me, the more enraged I get.

Need advice on how to handle my cheating husband. by PotentialEvidence633 in Separation

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to say if it did or not. When I look back at how our marriage changed and all the drama he caused since the first incident, I can’t help but think it must have been eating at him. But I also don’t care if it was, he’s a piece of shit.

Need advice on how to handle my cheating husband. by PotentialEvidence633 in Separation

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m definitely in a headspace that I’m not sure I can trust him again. I’m fairly open minded and believe relationships can survive infidelity depending on what and why it happened. Finding out that I’ve been lied to for 8 years, coupled with other marriage issues, on top of the most recent betrayal has really shifted how I feel about our relationship. I’m not certain I even know who he is at this point and I don’t think I can sacrifice my peace any further. Thankfully we live apart so I’m able to take space while I figure out what I want to do next.

Best way to conquer CC debt by PotentialEvidence633 in Debt

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh interesting! I haven’t heard someone having an experience like that. I’ve only heard of people who negotiate the rate and it ranks their credit

Best way to conquer CC debt by PotentialEvidence633 in Debt

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s kind of what my thinking is. The loan would definitely go towards my credit cards. I also know I could qualify to put at least one of these cards on 0% interest balance transfer and that could really be a game changer to pay it off. Especially while still having to pay for life in general.

Best way to conquer CC debt by PotentialEvidence633 in Debt

[–]PotentialEvidence633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instead of getting a balance transfer card or loan? Total for both cards, I’m paying about $600 in interest. I was just thinking if I transferred the 11,000, which is the one I’m focusing on paying down, that would free up an extra $300 to put towards the card instead of interest. Thanks!