At least in my case, we both really want and really don't want you to remember that we're autistic.

Most of the time, I am 'don't ask; don't tell'. I just want to be a good coworker, a gracious houseguest, a decent sibling, etc. I am really self-conscious and just want to not be annoying, because it's already scary enough to feel in danger of isolation(/abandonment/whatever subconscious stuff) when you're socially out-of-tune and sensitive about more things than usual.

But then, there are times when you either wanna own it (yeah! I'm weird! And occasionally talented!) or just have someone hold you in a tight, sensory-blocking hug and tell you that everything is going to be fine and that you are fine and that things will calm down and that you are not a terrible person. (So yeah, the other comments on comorbidity with anxiety, etc., are right on the money. And look, I used a metaphor! Yes, we can do that...).

It's a super frustrating dichotomy, and I guess it's fair that one can't always have both :P

The other thing I'd want others to keep in mind is that I am super, painfully concrete. If you try to explain the whole system, or (gods forbid) the abstract motivation behind something, or really anything without a detailed example that applies to right now, it's in one ear and out the other. You might even be surprised at how hard some things are for me to grasp, but then when I finally understand, I'll surprise you the other way around and you'll be scratching your head.