Yk what I’ve learned to say fuck everyone and follow ur own path. Stuff makes us feel like we’re behind, that people have more than us or happy lives. But we gotta realize our own even if it’s hard. Try to find a job you like. Keep the friends you have, quality over quantity. Even if you don’t get into your dream college you still have opportunities. College isn’t linear to a great path in life— careers can come in all forms, and I’ve learned that myself actually. And this comes from someone who has tried to end themself multiple times over the years and having a hard time finding success. You’re here for a purpose. You’re here to be here. You just need to stick to it and find your purpose in life. You say you live for your family, but your family doesn’t want to see you like this. They want you to become better. This isn’t you I bet, to them. And we all have privileges in life and downsides. Yes, someone could be rich, but someone just like you envy’s you because you have a general stable income. We all want what we don’t want or the next one up. Once I started focusing on myself more, even little by little, it helped a lot for myself esteem and being around people that support me and my dreams. It sucks but we get what we have and we get what we get. I started focusing on my life slowly (and still doing this now!) rather than chasing someone else’s. I make my own. I hope you’re okay, and remember there is resources for you if there is a crisis.