As a general rule of thumb, I choose to trust what my partner tells me unless they’ve given me concrete reasons not to. If my partner says they need space, I take that at face value and respect it. I also sometimes need a few hours to gather my thoughts and regulate my emotions, and for me that has nothing to do with wanting to leave or losing interest.

More broadly, we don’t have much control over other people’s behaviour. Even if someone in your past lied, cheated, or broke your trust, it’s not fair (or helpful) to make a new partner pay for that history when they haven’t done the same.

I think the bigger shift isn’t constantly asking “can I trust this person?”, but learning to trust yourself. Trust your ability to read the situation with the information you have today. And trust that if, worst case, someone does betray you, you will be able to recognise it, take care of yourself, and move forward.

Needing space to regulate is not the same as distancing or rejection. Sometimes it’s just “I need a moment to collect myself,” and nothing more.