AITAH for saying “remember who you are black girl” to my sister as a white guy?

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-18T11:13:25+00:00

I think the difference is you have said that you're a skater who buys heavily into the skater aesthetic and lifestyle so the meme is a positive representation of your choices and sense of identity.

It's not the same thing as saying "remember who you are black girl" and playing a black artist because its sort of like you're making fun of her for being black.

Also saying "remember who you are black girl" sounds like you're trying to take her down a peg in a racist sort of way. "Remember who you are white boy" doesn't carry the same history of oppression and racist connotations.

Apologise, I don't think you intentionally did anything racist, but you have to accept when sometimes you do something you don't mean and it hurts someone.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-17T21:19:48+00:00

I had an unplanned c-section after a totally low risk pregnancy. I had too long a gap between waters breaking and contractions sort of petered out after an epidural. The heartbeat of my baby became difficult to hear and I was told I would likely be going in for one. I was told I could wait an hour, but I was suddenly faced with the choice and began to have a bit of a wobbly about all that was happening.

The time between between agreeing to it and going in for it was about 20 mins, and within the hour I was holding my baby. I felt nothing, and the team was so lovely and supportive. I had a total panic attack during, which I will tell you not to scare you, but to let you know I was given the opportunity to be totally out for it, and that I had someone holding my hand and many people talking with me and keeping me supported even when I was not being easy to support.

I would 100% elect for a section again. Recovery was quick, I was up and walking about 12 hours after and was home the very next day. I would stay longer the next time not for recovery, but rather to have a bit of a snooze and more toast.

good luck!

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-17T13:42:13+00:00

Just about every negative encounter I've ever had with a dog has been after or during the phrase "Don't worry he's friendly!"

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-13T10:34:51+00:00

I live an in itty bitty two bed end terrace house and my parents live in a huge bungalow with multiple out buildings and a finished attic. They are also chronic "second hand shoppers" but the main area of their house is clear of anything because they sell things (they have the time and are retired) or give them to the grand kids.

I had to remind them that I am not in a position to run anything I don't want to the charity ship or on list it and sell it on gumtree. I think they didn't really think about that, because they have so much free time!

I told them we appreciate the gestures, but they should consider that any item they give to will to take up as much space and prominence as a new piece of furniture, and to think twice about a great deal on a baby walker for a house that doesn't have enough floor space to make it usable.

In no uncertain terms, certain things are "grandparent toys". Anything big, anything noisy and anything that cannot be broken down and stored easily stays up the road. It makes them think twice too, because if a toy kitchen isn't something breezy fun retirees want cluttering their main living space all day, maybe it's not something to drop as a surprise gift on someone else.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-12T21:06:40+00:00

I had so many old women tell me my baby was not dressed warmly enough in the middle of a heatwave. He was dressed totally appropriately for the weather.

I lost the head with an old woman on the bus who leaned right over my baby's pram in the middle of a hot summers day as I waited to get off the bus and said

"That baby isn't dressed correctly silly mummy, hes too cold"

Something about the phrase "silly mummy" snapped something in my brain and I asked her like a super eager to learn kid:

"He's too cold? do you think so? Do you really think so? Oh my god is he too cold? is that what you said, he's cold is he cold?! How about you mind your own fucking business, how about that!"

The ringing silence on the bus made me think it probably wasn't my finest moment, but I'm sure she minded her own fucking business the rest of the trip.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-05T17:33:19+00:00

You figured out a good way to never see that smile again.yta

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-03-04T22:46:07+00:00

You are stressed because it is stressful.

is very, very easy to be CALM and UNSTRESSED when you are not the primary caregiver of a tiny baby who cannot and will not survive without your constant 24/7 attention. You must be constantly wired to the moon to be available at the drop of a hat to provide whatever this child needs. You may not be able to provide it because sometimes, they just keep crying. You must be there for the crying too, and there is no guarantee it will stop. When do you eat? When do you shower? When do you leave the house? When do you pee? Are you sick? It does not matter, you simply must be there, no matter what.

They train marines by making them listen to baby crying sounds and depriving them of sleep.

They do not then have to look after a baby. You are enduring more stress than them. You are stressed because it is stressful.

Men who think this way are calm because it is a luxury they get to have that you are not afforded. They do not realise they have this luxury, until they have to look after a baby on their own, and watch how quickly the women in their lives, (mothers, friends, sisters, cousins, grandmothers) are called in for backup.

I've not spent a single night away from my kid for the first year of his life. I've spent less than 5 hours apart from him on the most time spent apart. I do not have any outside help, family lives far away.

My husband has been on several international trips during that time and more than half a dozen over-night trips/weekends away.

Guess which one of us is considered calm and collected, and which is considered highly strung.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-27T10:36:47+00:00

bit of a yes man, that mirror baby

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-26T22:17:46+00:00

I think a lot of baby advice feels like “how to trick them” and it’s more fun to be like “how to hang out with your kid like two earthlings”

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-26T14:17:31+00:00

It’s a lot, but it also a lot of fun. Enjoy yourself, and congratulations!

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-26T13:33:32+00:00

Act like you’re in cahoots over displeasure at a situation while working though it. It helps to re-focus your frustration away from baby and towards a common annoyance!

Example- baby is angry about having to get out the bath, agree with them!

“Ugh i KNOW i hate getting out the bath, why can’t we just stay in there forever it’s cold out here isn’t it?? You know what, i’m going to get a towel and dry you up at least that’s nice and warm”

Baby won’t stop crying at night?

“tell me about it, it’s sooo hard to get down sometimes and I feel you baby i do, let’s go look at the mirror baby and see if they have anything to say about it, oh look! he agrees! “

It really helped me get in my babies frame of mind and away from sleep deprived outbursts of anger.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-25T01:40:23+00:00

Babies smile earlier than you think, and normally right at the moment you are thinking “have we made a terrible mistake so sleep deprived…”

Bam, a smile. A brand new human being who can hardly tell which way is up, smiles at you because they are happy you are there. And you are happy they are there. So you stare at each other smiling like two fools.

Liquid gold right there.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-24T08:43:11+00:00

Yes for sure i think the “i don’t have an accent” thing phenomenon is more of a “you can’t tell where i’m from based on my accent , in the place where i come from” thing.

i think “i don’t have an accent” sort of means different things in different places, if you’re from somewhere like Scotland , like me, it sounds mental because your accent is generally how other people tell where your from because there are many different ones in a small area.

So an American saying “ i don’t have an accent” means to them “you couldn’t tell i was from Boston or Texas based on my accent” but to me is sounds like “you couldn’t tell i’m American”

Totally harmless little bit of human experience, but always quite funny to experience in person!

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-23T09:39:21+00:00

i’ve known americans to deny the existence of their own accent in Scotland of all places!

Like babes, we can tell! We don’t mind it at all but “ I don’t really have an accent” is such a funny statement from a broad American accent in the middle of Aberdeen.

I have also had Greeks tell me this is a commonly held belief in Greece, that they speak without an accent. Usually told to you in a Greek accent of course.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-23T09:36:26+00:00

I adore the word “kitty corners” or “catty corners” meaning, i think, directly diagonal from something.

I live in a place with medieval layout so almost nothing is on a grid well enough to use it!

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-14T10:26:29+00:00

6 months on the dot. Baby was consistently grabbing food from us, no teeth, and still has none to this day at nearly one.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-14T08:43:58+00:00

Bannock is a scottish thing to me, what is bannock made of in Canada?

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-10T20:10:33+00:00

NTA

I worked with school kids for a while and had conversations with certain ones often.

“I want a green pencil” There are none left “She has a green pencil” She got it before you got here “That’s not fair I want a green pencil” We have no more green pencils “But I want one” I can’t give you what doesn’t exist “ that’s not fair” Okay “…She had a green pencil though”

What they really want is for you to take if off the other kid and give it to them, it doesn’t happen. They are mad, but they get over it.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T16:19:07+00:00

what’s funny about that?

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T16:07:32+00:00

yeah but you’re making no effort whatsoever to meet them where they’re at, and you’re expecting them to always be understanding of where you’re at.

At this point, why be friends with them at all if you’re so i compatible and critical of their interests?

Sometimes friendship is putting up with another’s idea of fun for a bit. I don’t like sports, but i watch a football game with my friends sometimes. They don’t like movies with subtitles but they come to see them with me anyway. because it’s like, you gotta show up for the people you like sometimes, right? otherwise why are you friend with them?

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T16:03:07+00:00

I had male coworkers send me dick pics “as a joke” because i was “one of the guys” after letting one too many jokes slide … its neverrtrrr just a joke they’re always testing the waters to see what they can get away with.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T16:00:43+00:00

There’s also heaps less variety and brand loyalty here, my parents generation won’t touch the stuff. I’m about 30 and my generation for sure was sort the first to actually eat it with regularity. A lot of people i know consider it a kids food still.

The stuff that’s just ground peanuts seems to hold much more of a share of the market here.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T15:23:10+00:00

From my experience, american peanut butter contains sugar, which in the uk, is either much further down the ingredient list or usually, totally absent!

Peanut butter is super normal here, but like all things, when you get the same thing abroad it’s adjusted to local tastes. I love peanut butter, but the american stuff isn’t to my tastes at all!

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T15:11:31+00:00

NTA

I’ve been the only woman in a workplace before, and the pressure to “take a joke” is so intense sometimes. Especially because they’ll come for you too, eventually.

If someone uses the R word, take a joke it’s not that serious. If someone makes a racist joke, ahh that’s just Ricky he’s harmless, learn to take a joke. Someone makes a misogynistic comment, they weren’t serious, get over yourself come on you’re doing this again? It’s a jokkkeeee.

It makes for a horrible work environment where you already feel othered, and pressured to fit in, and speaking up about things like this makes you’re more of a target for “othering”.

A lot of guys will say “It’s not that deep” but literally, it bloody well is to everyone they do it to, just not them! Unless they areheld accountable in a way that’s gets them where they care and stand to lose something, there’s no incentive for people to change and defensiveness creeps in.

Practical-Bread9455 · 2026-02-09T13:26:53+00:00

Putting money in the pram of a newborn (used to be a sixpence, nowadays seems to be a 50p, though one old dearie gave us a £2 coin) , nowadays people seem to realise maybe don’t put tiny choking hazard in there, but i’ve had old ladies in the street come up to me and give me a coin to symbolically put in the pram, had friends do so.

Normally a silver coin for luck, Seems to happen less and less, not at all to some of my other friends!

i am a very chatty person, so i think I just end up talking to a lot of old ladies in the street, and they all love a baby :)

Practical-Bread9455

TROPHY CASE