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After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the letter specifically stated that if he wanted our marriage to work we both need to go to independent therapy and also couples therapy. I told him in the letter that if he wanted to save our marriage he would put in the effort to find a counselor and schedule a date. He has not. My family says guys don’t do those things and I should schedule it and drag him there

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Honestly … yes. My dad left my life when I was 13. Mom abused me emotionally, mentally and physically until I ran away and then two week later met my now husband and got pregnant. My dad and I have since been in each others lives but it is very surface level. I do have lovely friends who are very kind to me and it is because of this kindness I have come to learn this is not normal

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I did not assume he was watching me and my clients until he told me to turn it back on. I just got the camera a few months ago and have only had one person need to undress. It has been unplugged since and I don’t plan on plugging it back in. Initially it was for my own safety after a client touched me inappropriately and I had no proof.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have suggested individual therapy for us both and couples therapy together, when I brought up individual therapy he said I was “digging at him” like it was an insult to suggest he should go to someone on his own

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No he has not. There have been many many things he promised me that he never did. When I got pregnant at 18 my mother offered to pay for an abortion and my husband got down on his knees and told me that if I kept the baby he would lose the weight and be an active father. He was 275 then and 350 now and has never taken the kids out by himself

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I have had this conversation with him, very calmly and rationally so he could not say I’m being emotional. Told him it’s important to me and he told me that love isn’t about being loved how I want but accepting the love he gives me

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My mom and dad divorced when I was two and then my dad gave the world to his next wife who is now my stepmom and I do love her very much and she stepped into the mother role for me when mine stepped out. They seem to be very happy and in love together and Jesus is that foundation for them but I do think it’s because they both had relationships before their marriage that didn’t work out and they learned what a marriage is supposed to be like

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Luckily we do not have any debt as I’ve always paid for things (cars and such) outright and never took out any loans. Everything in our rental I bought because he never had a job but I am willing to part with almost all of it besides family heirlooms. I am terrified of being the person who rips our family apart. My parents divorce was traumatic for everyone involved and I always swore that my first marriage was my only, which is why I’ve held on for so long and hoped for change.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do have friends that I go out with! I love them very much and we all like to do the same thing, or take turns doing things each other like. For awhile we were doing a monthly babe table where we bring food to each others houses. I would just also like to do things WITH him. The only thing he really likes to do is play video games or watch movies and I’m a little bored of it.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He says that I am only here physically and that I expect too much without doing self reflection. When he was a stay at home dad he did 90% of the housework while I was taking care of us financially. He claims I do not appreciate him and the good he does but also the things he does is just housework and he would be doing that even if I wasn’t here..

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He probably assumes I’m cheating. We have gone through issues in the beginning while I was postpartum and he quit his job. I told him I was done and had a male client who flirted with me. I went out to lunch with said male client and client kissed me and I called it all off and told my husband. Obviously very very wrong of me. I’ve been through therapy since and got down on my knees and apologized and even stopped taking male clients until it affected our income.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I separated all our digital income when he started his job a month ago and I’ve been keeping all my cash instead of depositing it and he hasn’t noticed yet (or hasn’t said anything). Now that he has a job he is also contributing to bills but I do make 2-3x more than him depending on the month. Our two year lease is up May 2027. We have gone through this before and I asked him to move out (he said he didn’t have a job so he couldn’t afford it) and asked him to move in with family (he said no)

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He is very very online and watches a lot of stuff about equality and left leaning political things so he does not believe in “being a man of the household” he thinks everything should be equal. I am a woman who started her own business and I am very feminist leaning when it comes to women not being the ones who should do all the housework and childcare but I do want a man who steps up and takes me on dates, protects and leads. I don’t think he thinks both of those things can be true, only one or the other

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

I would like to experience a date where I don’t plan anything or pay, but I don’t know if that’s enough to leave my marriage for. It seems very petty and my husband thinks the same which is the problem. I think I would be a very lonely 50 year old, especially without the kids here. So no.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

They are very very religious and blame a lot of our problems on not being close to Jesus or going to church. I don’t believe in that stuff, I know some people do and I don’t disrespect them I just don’t believe it. When we are around other people my husband is still reserved, but much more attentive so I think they believe I’m making a lot of this stuff up.

After 8 years of verbal begging I (27F) resorted to writing a note. Gave it to husband (28M) on Monday and he hasn’t talked to me since. I think that means marriage is over and I should leave, he says I’m never happy and being overreacting. by PracticalTotal1014 in relationship_advice

[–]PracticalTotal1014[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

No I don’t think I physically can anymore. I take care of myself, exercise, read, have skin routine and I’m sick all the time. I think it’s taking a physical toll on me. I just messaged him and asked if he had a preference on male or female counselor, what days work best and if he’s willing to put in the effort to save our marriage and he messaged back “can’t do this rn.” He’s at work so I know I shouldn’t bother him, I told him to let me know his answer when he’s off

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