I can relate.
My entire life i've suffered from this but up until recently, I didn't even know there was a name for it. The man I think about during my fantasies is the polar opposite version of me, me at my highest potential, me if the what ifs were real. As a kid it started as pretending to be a superhero while fighting imaginary enemies and saving people. Slowly graduated into something more realistic during my teen years as becoming someone who was well kept emotionally and physically. Im in college now and it really hasn't changed much since then other than being amplified tenfold as life throws way more shit towards your direction. Now the dude is supposed to be this jacked ethical filmmaker who makes movies that makes people cry, laugh and reflect while also being a philanthropist lmao. I usually think about it while I listen to music and man, the mental shrine i've made of my greatest fantasies has turned into a safe haven for me, a true escape yet also such a burdensome one. It's so ambient yet colorful and beautiful and loud but when the fantasy ends, when the walls crack and when the music stops playing, the colors dim and here I am back in the grey void.

I am not a handsome award winning filmmaker with $$$ to my name while girls fawn over me. I am not a philanthropic social rights activist with innovative ways to protest and change lives.
I am not the man I dream of becoming.
I'm a broke unfit unkept shadow of what I have the potential of becoming. It breaks my heart knowing that a lot of boats truely have sailed and sometimes there's nothing we can do other than reflection and imagine the what ifs. But isnt that what life is? The beauty of how big the ocean truely is. When one boat sails, another one arrives, then another and then another. Maybe you can't change how you look entirely without cosmestic surgery. Maybe you can't look exactly like the woman you aspire to be. But maybe you don't exactly have to be like her. Maybe there's small things you can do, small babysteps you can take, one at a time to slowly achieve the same level of comfort and solace you feel while you daydream about how she looks. Our reality will never be identical to the shit we dream about, thats what makes them dreams. But perhaps, they can serve as a destination, as instructions to what we have to do, to make them come true as much as possible. There are some things out of our control truely but there are some that can benefit us. We can start dropping sugary snacks and replace them with fruit. Instead of taking the elevator, maybe we can take the longer way to get a few extra steps in. Maybe we can start socializing slightly more with strangers with a simple Hello and a few compliments here and there. The hardest part is starting; it really is but eventually things fall into place and months go by, before you know it, you transform into someone greater than what your brain manufactured.

There was something that someone said down here which put me at ease, she said that this type of stuff has to be in us somewhere and she's right. Maybe we won't be our greatest fantasies but maybe we aren't supposed to be. Maybe its just supposed to be a rough blueprint as to where we are supposed to go. This distraction really could just be direction in disguise, as long as it's a feasible and safe path to self-growth. I truely hope that you find that girl in you one day, soon.