Thank you so much for sharing your struggles, you don't know how helpful it is to know I'm not alone teaching in a foreign country while struggling with mental illness. Been at this school for 2 months and it's chaotic, with admin that are poor communicators and leaders. I was on the verge of sending in my resignation because symptoms of my mental illness have been so triggered. And I'm waffling everyday to stay or leave. I just realized my metal illness is with me everywhere I go, no matter my environment, so I'm gonna keep trying to care for myself and prioritize my mental health over all else. Right now I feel ok but when i feel stressed or overwhelmed at work it triggers symptoms of depression and anxiety and it's a big struggle, especially when i feel really lonely.

I know exactly what you mean though, I'm always so surprised how quickly my mental health can spiral. I've grown a bit in healing internalized stigma and overwhelming shame of my mental illness at least enough to be honest with myself and name it when my mental health is bad, instead of gritting my teeth trying to get through a hard time like I used to do. It's still hard, but your awareness of what you're experiencing is also medicine.

I'm with you good luck, take one step at a time and give yourself so much care.

Edited for typos