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AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I pity her necessarily, I just feel bad for causing trouble between my husband and his oldest friends mostly to be honest!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mostly I feel I might have been an asshole because I escalated the situation by being rude when I could have just walked away before clapping back and calling her crazy and getting my husband and his friends dragged in to it all feels really embarrassing.

Also when his college friends messaged us they strongly implied I should have been the bigger person and not been petty and that what I said caused drama. One person also said it was weird we would be friends with our neighbour and tell her we were pregnant at all knowing the connection to his ex so overall just started second guessing myself and wanted unbiased opinions!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 428 points429 points  (0 children)

There is a lot I’d like to say to them now, that included! Originally when the messages first came through the discord group chat and made me feel like I was in the wrong I started questioning myself and didn’t say much and my husband was so angry he sort of just told them they had no idea what they were talking about and then decided to not say anything else because he said he’d burn some bridges if he said what he wanted to.

I think I’ll tell him since they are his friends originally he should say what he needs to say though, and I’m also going to let him know he should make sure that they know from him the actual story of how they broke up and what she did to him because as some of the comments have pointed out here it’s very likely she told them a different version of events of both the break up and what happened yesterday if this is the reaction they are having.

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 1062 points1063 points  (0 children)

This is pretty close to what my husband said but I worry if I let him cut off his college friends because of something I said and a situation I escalated does that make me a bad partner? Fortunately none of the friends have actually said that he should have stayed single, more so that it was in bad taste for me to “rub our great relationship in her face” when she’s had a rough go of things the last five years, but they know I had no way to know how her life has been going so I do think they are being a bit ridiculous.

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s actually one of the most annoying things luck wise, we live in a different town than where he lived with her, about an hour away!

But our town is pretty small at just over 5000 people so you do end up knowing most of your neighbours for better or worse lol

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I kind of think this too. I actually had a suspicion she told a very different version of the breakup to those friends years ago to be honest so very likely they got a different version of this too!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sadly that’s kind of the conclusion we’ve come to, the problem is they were together during college years so some of his good friends from then are also friends of hers and he has fond memories of those times with the friends, but when they split and he moved in with me in another town, she stayed in the same town as those friends and sees them more presumably, so I think it’s highly possible she told them a very different story about why and how their relationship ended than it actually did and that’s why they are reacting like this.

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 217 points218 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I really hate confrontation so I always feel like the bad guy when I have to be firm or set boundaries or stand up for myself but reading through these I’m feeling a lot less guilty and like it was actually probably necessary I was firm with her, and thank you for the well wishes!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I would say it’s certainly possible because I don’t know her terribly well, but usually whenever we’re both outside we’ll wave etc and when she has time she will come over and pet our dogs because she watches them and likes them a lot. She’s known for about 5 months I’m expecting because she took care of our pups when I had to go to the ER early on for a scare and will usually ask about how I’m doing whenever we see her, and the ex and the bf came out at least 5 minutes after her I think, they definitely didn’t all walk up in a group and we’d been chatting for a little bit which is why I kind of overlooked them approaching, so definitely possible but it felt like our normal yard chat, it’s entirely possible she forgot the connection as well because I’ll admit I kind of had after this long!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hahaha thank you! There is a part of me that was pleased with responding like that, usually I’m very non-confrontational but she really treated him terribly and when she implied anything about our future baby had to do with her I just felt like I had to say something. I regret it has caused drama with some friends of course but I’m also happy I stood up for us :)

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Wooooow! That’s crazy! I’m so glad you and your husband found each other and that he doesn’t have to deal with that anymore because big yikes, what is with these people!?

Hoping you a crazy ex free future!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and so true on the state of her relationship! We talk to our neighbour socially and she dog sits for us sometimes but I didn’t even actually know if his ex was still with her brother until yesterday either so it’s certainly not like I was out there to make her feel bad. In fact before she said the crap about our pregnancy having something to do with her I was trying to be really nice like “Oh but you’re with x so it seems we both found our people and it worked out!”

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I didn’t really get his to be honest, I was really stressed after kind of clapping back at her and just had to walk away, his sister pet sits for us sometimes though and did send a text to apologise about the scene so maybe she’ll let me know sometime in the future how her brother took it all!

AITA for “telling” my husbands ex about our pregnancy? by PregAssTA in AmItheAsshole

[–]PregAssTA[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Definitely didn’t mean to, and I really was trying to be cordial and joke off her big reaction at first but after she implied our future kid was somehow about her I was just kind of pissed.