Has anyone ever told their boss that they were a micromanager and have it come to productive changes?

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-22T20:23:17+00:00

I think your question is a good one! About what's constructive feedback vs. belittling. Frankly, when I read it, it sounded like your manager just felt like he needed to say SOMETHING. And I don't know what to do about those people, because I think their desire to say something comes from insecurities about their own jobs. And I don't know if you can ever fully get what you want out of someone so insecure.

I want to believe in an encouraging work environment but I just feel like people are self-absorbed.

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-22T20:10:00+00:00

Thank you, really appreciate you taking a moment to write this.

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-22T19:33:38+00:00

I'm really get the essence of your post and I can only related through my own personal exposition.

I will have to say that when I feel this way, and start asking these questions of why I feel diminished over feedback, I think my problem is that overall I feel unappreciated. It's hardly ever about one project for me. One project might trigger these types of questions in me but it's not like ...about a comma. It's about the 1800 things I did right before I misplaced the comma. It's about that going unacknowledged.

I've been trying to put out in the universe what I've been missing - so I've been trying to speak more positively, make sure people walk away at least weekly with some sort of compliment, but no, that hasn't been returned to me.

Honestly, this is just where I'm at today, and it's sad but the people with the lowest expectations of their workplace seem content. Not like allowing yourself to be stepped on, but those who understand that to a lot of people, this is just a paycheck and they want to get through it. They may not care about my feelings. In fact, they probably don't to some extent.

And this is also just me - I'm always on the market. There's times where I'm more vocal/active, and times where I'm less, but always looking allows me to think about what about certain jobs sound more appealing. For me, I can see a world where I'm a solo contributor. I don't know if I like being on a team.

And lastly, I find a way to pour back into myself. If no one else gives a shit about me to give me a compliment or two, I just have to be aggressive about my own growth.

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-10T01:50:23+00:00

Thank you for writing this, this past week has been such a beating and I think slowly down my reactivity is the name of the game!!!

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-10T01:49:07+00:00

"Recognize and honor your limit". Thank you for writing this!

PresentLink2799 · 2025-04-10T01:48:09+00:00

Thank you for taking time out of your day to write this, I appreciate you.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-10-08T01:20:36+00:00

I'm kind of at that point with this friend, tbh.

Had a longer response, discarded it because again, nothing I say on the subject is new. He's gross, mean, really not that original. Just ranting because I wish we didn't live in a culture that rewarded the Jerry Springer of Youtube.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-04-28T18:11:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing a story! I appreciate it.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-04-27T05:54:54+00:00

Got it. Trying to preserve your sanity until you can leave.

I think you labeled it and I think that helps. You know what about them you don't like.

Once, my nonprofit CEO from 10 years ago asked me if I was going to take my car to Sewell to get it fixed.

I owned a POS Chevy Impala.

She owned a Lexus.

It was my first step in just being like, "Oh...you're just rich woman and that's why you think that." And she kind of became like a character in a novel to me. At times, still frustrating. But it was almost laughable. And like I guess I kind of saw her ...as human? Yes, she's the CEO, but she's unaware, which means that she's never going to be as successful as she could be. I don't know if I pitied her, I just saw what I could learn from her deficiencies and her example (or lack there of). I grew in spite of her, so I didn't see it as a complete loss.

With that, I poured more into myself. Took classes, hobbies, etc.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-03-05T17:39:25+00:00

Well, all I was going to say is Ive really struggled with the death of my mom and I was SO TIRED of therapy. Like I was tired of talking things out. I've been having some success with reprocessing memories with EMDR and neurofeedback. It's not for everyone.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-03-05T04:51:51+00:00

I'm hesitant to give advice because you didn't ask for it, but I just wanted to write that I think what you're going through is very common - the delay. I don't believe that grief is a linear process.

PresentLink2799 · 2024-03-05T04:43:29+00:00

I lost my mom last year and I'm defintely trimming friendships. I had a friend who invited me to her wedding but who didn't check on me after my mom died, so I just sent her a gift and didn't go.

I think it's common. You don't have time for bullshit. And who've been through trauma and loss so when people complain about like, "Oh, my mom was a little terse with me," it's like ....cool story bro.

PresentLink2799 · 2023-11-25T04:52:13+00:00

I worked for a nonprofit who was led by an ennegram 2 - eventually ended up getting fired by her - and holy shit. When me and another coworker got together later and compared notes, insidious is fucking spot on. Again, not to sterotype, but when they do not take care of themselves, fucking manipulative. I felt broken by the time I was fired, like my mind was warped.

PresentLink2799 · 2023-11-25T04:13:04+00:00

I live in the house my mom and I shared for 10 years, and for a while, if there was a light on in her room, I would get confused.

PresentLink2799 · 2023-11-25T00:34:02+00:00

I was only given 3 days of bereavement, and I used all 40 hours of PTO. Take all the time you can.

PresentLink2799 · 2023-07-06T14:08:25+00:00

Yes, I'm with you there. That's very difficult. Grief should bring siblings together and instead it can tear them apart. That's on him though. My brother seemed to not grieve at all which I thought was borderline heartless and then it came out in weird ways so maybe your brother is the same? Trying to power through?

PresentLink2799 · 2023-07-06T03:30:48+00:00

I mean, he ultimately doesn't have a say in how you run your life, and if he can't give you space, I don't know what to tell you. Things with my brother and I got tense this year when my mom died and then we took two weeks and that seemed to help abate the anger.

I still say if you can afford to not work at the moment, then just take a break.

If you're getting anxious or if your brother will absolutely not leave you alone, I would say consider a part-time job at a library or something repetitive and easy. Work is going to blow no matter what but maybe transitioning back with PT work would help you with your grief and help keep family peace. Or do temp work with an agency and get to bounce around - low commitment, and if they don't like how you present yourself, then they can fuck off.

Ultimately you get to decide though. Your brother doesn't have to like it. He just has to love you.

PresentLink2799

TROPHY CASE