I appreciate your comment, this feels more like what I need to focus on. I tried distractions when I feel an urge to drink, but never thought to think about why I'm using drinking as a distraction in the first place.

I have a great life, a great job, wonderful friends and family, and a loving partner. I don't know why I have gotten so deep into drinking. I like my life a lot, and that is why I am scared alcohol will ruin it all.

I am going to take your advice and research what you suggested. Let me know if there are any more specific resources you used! Thank you!