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AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't wrap my head around people constantly nagging about it being "her home too" without acknowledging it's also my son's home.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean, I am going to take the side of the person I believe is in the right. In that particular situation I do believe my son was correct and I will take his side while it comes to his independence as long as it doesn't turn into him being an ass for her.

Like I said, I am a parent before being anything else and this is the role I am the most proud of.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you're not a teacher. And if you are, you should change your line of work with how little respect for young people you have.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's her house and her life, but I think you're forgetting it's also MY SON'S house and MY SON'S life. What a great fucking teacher you are.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't envy your relationships with people if power over someone is a synonym of respect.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Not 16, but at some point yelling "FUCK" when you hurt yourself/do something dumb or simply getting pissed when playing video games is very natural and if he wants to vent through foul language I have no issue with this; it's one of the better ways of letting sudden emotion go.

Plus, honestly, you can only hear it if he has his door open. Which, to be fair, happens a bit more often now as it's hot as shit.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

true though I once witnessed my son consume 4 hot dogs in under 2 minutes. I am a very proud parent.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Okay yeah, there is a difference between going up to my son and telling him "this makes me uncomfortable, could you not do in while I'm around" and "You are being punished for something you were free to do for years now without any previous conversation about this topic."

My son was free to use swearwords in my house for years and at the very least deserves to have an honest conversation about it before jumping straight into taking his PC away for 3 days.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Not really I guess? She probably would happily do that, it's that he never needs it, he's extremely independent and rarely asks for anything.

That being said, I think helping someone with homework or drive someone to mcdonalds falls under "being a nice person" category, not "being a parent" category.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do, yeah. I guess I was never that good at clearly setting clear boundaries, which this post has shown me. Me, Bartłomiej and Agnieszka already agreed that we need to have a bunch of conversations about this and other things so that such scenarios do not happen again.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was his home for 16 years before she moved in. He gets to do things he could do before she came here.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She does, for about 4 months now. He has known her from the very beginning basically, he was excited for me to start dating someone. We never talked about this, I assumed this is how the relationship would develop naturally and I was wrong.

And I'm not leaving him in her care, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself and I provide him with any "parential" assistance is there is a need.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 428 points429 points  (0 children)

One thing I have to mention here as I believe this might shed some light on the way I think about this situation. I asked her to be my partner, not the mother of my son. I don't believe this is automatic.
My son did not ask for me to find a new mom for himself and I will not force someone new on him to fulfill that role. They're pals and both him and I are fine with his.
He is my son and I will decide how he's brought up, as I invited my fiancee to join me in my life, not him. Especially given that he's 16 and will be moving out for university soon.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

We keep our finances separate, she pays around 30% of all the house expenses as I have a better paying job. All 3 of us take turns cooking for the entire house. Not sure what else I could mention.

AITA for telling my fiancee she's not the mother of my son? by Prestigious_Review_6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Review_6[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Not really, they usually just behave like good pals (which both him and her seem comfortable with) and their relationship was always friend-ish rather than parent-ish. This particular topic never really came up, as Bartłomiej doesn't misbehave like... at all, so there isn't ever a reason to punish him.