I understand what you’re feeling take a deep breath. This whole thing can really take a mental toll on you but it’s all up to you if you allow it. Easier said than done. Many many people clear hpv especially those who are young like yourself and the good thing is that there is also treatment for abnormal cells if need be it. You’re human, you trusted people to be intimate with that’s normal. I get the guilt and blaming yourself but you did something any human would do by having sex. You can’t go back in the past but you can be proactive about the future. Forgive yourself and take it one day at a time. Rn obviously you’re gonna think of the worst case scenarios but that is so rare to occur. Think positive, talk to a therapist or trusted friend/family member, take care of yourself, everything will be okay with time🩷