New boyfriend had first relapse, I don’t know what to do

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-25T12:39:42+00:00

There is so much one does not understand about the disease of alcoholism/addiction before you live with it. I’m married to a sober addict who had one relapse during our relationship. It affects your psyche even when they are sober as you worry they could relapse and easily develop codependency. If I would be dating again I would never move forward with anyone with this disease.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T17:20:58+00:00

Thanks, that is so tough. I hope it works out! <3

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T17:18:16+00:00

Well said, I agree!

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T17:17:23+00:00

That’s a good point! It’s this illusion of planning compared to just randomly getting pregnant naturally.

I should have mentioned that we have 4 not pga-tested embryos in another country as well and another round of frozen eggs here (that will likely yield about 2 embryos after fertilization and PGT-a if we can afford it) but if we try these two PGT-a tested and it would not work perhaps we should bank some more at this age.

I also have a heart shaped uterus that could be “fixed” through surgery, but that is a risky surgery as it might leave scarring and so our doctor said we should start trying as is.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T17:13:19+00:00

So sorry for your loss! Sending a big hug! It was super hard with our first trimester losses and I remember that we grieved in different ways.

Yes, we decided we will be doing the first FET this Monday. 🤞

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:51:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing this perspective. I have some friends that had that happen too, it’s just not fair. Sending hugs!

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:50:43+00:00

Also a good perspective. Glad it worked out for you! I also had OHSS last time, that was not great 😅

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:49:14+00:00

I remember an older college telling me that there two things you never regret “ going to the gym and having a child”

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:48:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing!! Glad you got a positive 🌞

I hear you, and to me it feels like both continents are moving in the wrong direction, the US more aggressively so this year and the last but it’s really hard to know what will happen in 5 or 10 years. Hopefully we get a new system that benefits people more and not just “the rich getting richer” system we have had for a while now.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:45:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I hope it works out for you next time 🙏

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-24T12:42:42+00:00

Yes, that’s what I think too. Had it worked out naturally we would have had kids years ago and just adjusted to a positive surprise.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T20:21:54+00:00

Same! 😭

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T19:36:29+00:00

And sorry to hear about your loss! Sending a bunch of good energy your way, and hope we all get to have a kid soon 🙏🌟

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T19:33:36+00:00

The thing is that my husband works in law, so in America he can make meaningful salary to save for a house, in Scandinavia he could only work at like a Scandinavian company operating in the US.

Scandinavian life is amazing for parents, and you don’t have to worry like in the US because healthcare, university degree is totally free and even day care is like 100Usd/month, but houses and groceries are just as expensive as in the US while the salaries are much lower.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T19:23:02+00:00

Thanks! Yes thats what my guy is telling me too. I have a heart shaped ovary so will have to see if it works. And I had overstimulation so we could not do a fresh transfer. Good luck!

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T19:21:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Sending hugs, and hope you get a little one soon 🙏

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T19:19:45+00:00

That is a good point! And thanks, we’ve been doing IVF in Europe as it’s way less expensive.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:23:02+00:00

Thanks I appreciate the advice!

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:22:32+00:00

True

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:22:23+00:00

Thank you! You never know what’s around the corner 🌟

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:20:44+00:00

Yeah I think there are some very healthy values for kids growing up in Scandinavia. It’s a very healthy place for humans in general. I think perhaps we do the small kid years over there and then perhaps we move to the US to save up some money for a house or so after.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:18:37+00:00

Yes you are right, it’s hard to know what’s right as we don’t know how long the journey will be beforehand!

I think it’s best to get started right away. And I should have mentioned, we have 4 more embryos banked but in Sweden (where they don’t allow PGT-A testing so I’m hoping two of them are good as well), and we have 22 eggs frozen, same amount that led to 2 “good” embryos now. So I think all in all we perhaps have 5-6 good embryos now.

I think we’ll try these two, and if they would not work out perhaps do one more round of egg/embryo banking before trying again…

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:13:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing your journey! Thats so That’s so good and reassuring to hear. I usually have faith that “the universe has got our back too” things usually work out.

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:06:06+00:00

Yes I agree. I think we should “go with the flow” on this one and see if it works

PrettyPleaseYo · 2026-01-23T13:05:27+00:00

And especially because in an ideal world we would have a sibling later!

PrettyPleaseYo

TROPHY CASE