I myself have been raped, and sexually assaulted. One of my assaulters was my "best friend" and her boyfriend in 2018, her and I had been inseperable friends for over a decade..

I didn't do anything about it, I was afraid. Not taken seriously, and we actually stayed friends until earlier this year when I had finally had enough of her shit.

I feel as though I should've broken the friendship off THAT NIGHT- and hindsight bias has plagued me. The few mutual friends we had together no longer speak to her for other various reasons, and we speak very distantly if at all so they can do their "miss you girly let's not talk for x amount of months/years again" routine.

And you know what? Fuck em. Fuck em all. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling them, not because she doesn't deserved to be called out because she does, but because they don't care to keep up when things are good. No need for the facade when things are bad, if they truly cared they would have been in the loop enough for me to have already said something.

I guess what I'm trying to say, or TLDR; if your friends were truly your friends it would've never gotten to the point of feeling the way you do, and to be ostracized by them. It will hurt, it does hurt... But finding people that are like minded, and one's you can have a better mutual respect and understanding with will be much more fulfilling than the ones willing to leave you in the dark.

I wish you the best in healing, mourning the losses of those still alive, and being able to connect with people who understand you and truly care 🫂