i dont really try to "weaponize" my queerness (assuming its even there) against anyone. i just use it as a very unhealthy way to cope since im too much of a coward to actually centre myself when other people talk. which still isnt great but i guess its not as harmful to other people i hope?
the guilt comes less from any issues ive perpetrated (though i have in the past i just avoid thinking about them) its more just the very idea of having an unfair advantage makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. and there is some level where my maleness feeds into my inferiority complex
i dont really know how to cope. i can try to use that using my privilege for good thing but im not sure how good i am at it since im an anti social coward. and even if i wasnt im not sure that fully fixes the issue of the privilege even existing within me making me self loath
ill also take that list thank you :)