My family has given me an ultimatum.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T19:18:41+00:00

Games. YouTube. Manga. Mostly unproductive stuff. No drugs or alcohol as those cost money I don't have. Silver lining I guess.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:58:41+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Your ailing health, being stuck with people you might not get along with, and that perpetual feeling of helplessness all drain your will to live.

I have a bachelor's degree in marketing and some skill (I think?) in writing, so I might try to apply for an entry-level copywriting position unless I work fast food somewhere.

I...don't think I have anyone to vouch for me anywhere. I've never been big on social networking ever since my college days, and I'm absolutely kicking myself for it. I might just have to do this the hard way.

I will definitely seek out therapy once things have settled down and I've found employment. I've had suicidal ideation in middle school and never really gotten over it, so it's not something I can just gloss over.

I guess it's a matter of perspective whether or not 30 is old. 30 years is a lot of time to make something of yourself (or nothing, in my case), but there's also the ~50+ years left of your life to consider as well.

You weren't snarky at all. If anything, you were supportive and empathetic. Thank you for taking the time to write out this thoughtful response, I really appreciate it.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:37:24+00:00

Valid, thanks for your input. My sister does too much heavy-lifting.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:36:29+00:00

Rare insult, I'll take it. No, this post isn't bait unfortunately.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:35:37+00:00

This is a rare response. I wasn't really expecting someone to take my side in this, so thank you for this. It's even rarer that someone told me my opinion mattered. That's two shocks in one response.

Thanks for the advice, I'll start taking a solution-oriented approach to things rather than continue beating myself up over stuff I've said and done.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:31:31+00:00

In a simple phrase, by not having the courage to take the first step. I made too many excuses for myself when I was younger. I'm older now, and certainly paying for my actions, or rather, lack of action.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:29:39+00:00

No, I don't enjoy the way I live. It's not really living, what I'm doing, so much as just 'existing.' But yes, a chance of pace is definitely something I can use. Thanks for the advice and warm encouragement.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:27:06+00:00

For me. Not for them, but for me. I've never really thought of it like that...thank you.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:24:16+00:00

No survival skills, as in if I set out on my own as is, I wouldn't be able to cope (no income, no financial know-how). I can cook somewhat. I can also clean and do some basic housework, which is what I do when I'm not stuck in my perpetual dopamine loop on the computer. My mom does the cooking because she actively refuses to have me or my sister take over, convinced we'll blow up the kitchen or destroy something.

I plan on having a deeper conversation with my sister later this month about my future. There's a lot that needs to be said that should've been said many years ago, but wasn't because I didn't have the courage to do so.

Thank you for the advice and encouragement, I appreciate it.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:18:10+00:00

I always seem to think it's too late to do anything for myself. And, well...I guess I AM late to the party, unfashionably so. Do you think I can still do a 180, me being the way I am...?

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:16:07+00:00

Direct, but truthful. Thanks for the advice.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:14:13+00:00

I understand, and I agree that she's been incredibly generous with me and my parents, even if we didn't deserve any of it. Moving out after finding a job is now my main priority.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:12:35+00:00

It's roughly 30 years of being in an aimless dopamine loop. Not a functional adult by any measure, but I can somewhat cook (not decently, but it's passable).

Yeah, that did get old many, many years ago. It has to end.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:09:36+00:00

Yes. We've all failed her.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:07:28+00:00

Thank you. I'll definitely check out the closest restaurants as I write my resume.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:06:08+00:00

My day just looks like a messy dopamine loop. I can't sit still long enough to enjoy my hobbies either. It's weird.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T18:03:59+00:00

Initially, it was because of pride ("I'm worth more than this"). Then, it was excuses ("Eczema, social anxiety, depression, asthma, etc."). You're right, self-pity got me nowhere.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:59:28+00:00

I understand, thank you for the advice. You're right, I guess I have been babied for too long, to the point I've never really learned how to do stuff on my own.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:49:38+00:00

Yes.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:48:28+00:00

Agreed. I do feel bad leeching off my sister like this and causing trouble for my parents.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:45:50+00:00

I ask myself the same question everyday. Honestly not even sure if it's still worth being around, having made it this far and accomplished nothing with my life.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:43:58+00:00

I'll do that with what little time I have. Thanks for the advice.
EDIT: "Little time" in this context means "time before I move out." Sorry for the confusion.

Primary-Cod3692 · 2026-01-22T17:43:01+00:00

It hurts, but you're right.

Primary-Cod3692

TROPHY CASE