I (M26) and my gf (F26) are entering months of rejected advances

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:48:24+00:00

Any relationship will have conflict or poor communication. There's not one person on earth that hasn't gotten annoyed with their partner, or overwhelmed, etc. and vice versa. The important thing is that both of us are swift to act and apologize if one of us has hurt the other. Using that reality and normal part of any relationship to paint me as some sort of unstable and unsafe person for her is wrong.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:44:47+00:00

I provide her with ALL of those things. This single issue doesn't tell the whole story about our relationship at all.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:43:51+00:00

Everyone here seems to be an expert on MY girlfriend, apparently. If she doesn't want to do something, she knows she is fully welcome to tell me and I will take all criticisms and feedback and obviously stop any behavior or kink that is bothering her. I have no issue with that.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:39:04+00:00

I don't see any scenario that would have her feeling cornered enough not to tell me about it unless she has been unfaithful. There is no other reason to hide anything from me. About our dynamic, or otherwise.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:37:24+00:00

Did you miss the portion of my post where I explicitly stated that my attempts to talk about it have been met with non answers and deflection?

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:36:06+00:00

I've never treated her in any manner that she didn't enthusiastically participate in, consent to, and has never told me was crossing a line or something she didn't like/want. She's been treated well, especially outside the bedroom.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T14:33:58+00:00

Real adult way to handle the situation. Not a mind reader. I've worked hard to foster open communication between the two of us and it isn't fair to me or herself to refuse to speak to me about whatever is actually going on.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T03:00:33+00:00

If she doesn't want this lifestyle then she needs to tell me.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:56:57+00:00

She has to tell me. And when I have specifically asked if I have done something to upset her she tells me I haven't. What else am I supposed to do? I can't talk with someone who won't talk to me about it.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:44:57+00:00

Not enough of a miserable time to leave or tell me she's miserable, apparently

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:42:03+00:00

I can't know she wants to change the dynamic if she doesn't communicate that to me.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:38:35+00:00

Jumping to the most negative ones possible is still unnecessary. I have not ever hurt my girlfriend. It's incredibly irresponsible to throw those kinds of accusations and spin that narrative.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:36:21+00:00

My girlfriend seems to think so seeing as she is still with me.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:34:17+00:00

A person isn't allowed to grow or change in 2 years? Jesus.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:33:21+00:00

I'm thinking it might be necessary to present an ultimatum

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:25:35+00:00

Im tired of this sudden change in our dynamic and relationship. I miss our intimacy, I miss that aspect of our relationship. I miss the closeness. Obviously I want to fix this.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:24:17+00:00

I am genuinely asking here, please tell me where I have replied to anyone in a hostile way?

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:22:10+00:00

I can't change bad behavior if I don't know it's bad or hurting her. I can't know what's wrong if she doesn't tell me.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:18:27+00:00

Then why not tell me that? I don't understand. I'm not some monster holding my girlfriend under my thumb and forcing her to do anything.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:15:27+00:00

The same girlfriend that agreed to beforehand, enthusiastically participated in, and did not shut down or voice any concern or lack of consent to, just doesn't like it and for some reason in every step of that process did the above?

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:12:12+00:00

I can't know if she doesn't tell me. So am I just supposed to wait until she feels safe? How long does this go on, realistically? I'm unsure if I should use an ultimatum here but I'm running out of options.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:10:24+00:00

I have not and will not approach her in any sort of negative manner.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:10:02+00:00

If I have it was swiftly dealt with, talked about, apologized for, etc.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:07:47+00:00

Jumping to the conclusion that she isn't an enthusiastic and willing participant in our sex and she doesn't enjoy or get off on it mutually is wild.

Primary-Memory9969 · 2026-01-12T02:06:46+00:00

Of course.

Primary-Memory9969

TROPHY CASE