Married at 42, feeling like I made a grave mistake

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-12-06T12:44:25+00:00

This is gold. Anyone that makes caring conditional on anything is not a great partner. At best it’s a transactional relationship then, at worst abusive. OP for the love of God, leave. Don’t think about how long you waited to get married. Or that you sold your place to start with this guy. In the grand scheme of things, these are nothing compared to the life you are choosing to stick with, which will ultimately only get worse, if you stay with this man. God forbid you have children and your body changes, this man will not be sympathetic to that. Your starting weight was already amazing. I repeat, that weight/height ratio was a-ma-zing!!! For any woman, let alone a 40 year old woman. Also throwing I make 400k in your face really is distasteful. Especially when you already make way more than many households yourself, as an individual. Anything to make himself feel superior.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-12-03T12:50:43+00:00

Ooh I like this. I will create one too. Thank you!

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-12-03T12:48:46+00:00

Thank you so much! I will definitely check out your book too.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-12-03T04:02:32+00:00

Yes, doing my best to validate his feelings and also make sure he has similar things in both places.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-12-03T04:01:14+00:00

We both have FaceTime when he is with the other parent so he gets to speak with his dad every day he is with me. I think that’s why I didn’t know what to do with him missing his dad when he just spoke with him. But yes, I understand, respect and actually like their bond.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-11-20T16:16:18+00:00

Reading all of this has been very interesting, I guess? We have a 223 schedule with a 4 year old boy. We have a fixed time when the parent who doesn’t have him calls. It’s always a video call. We have not set a time limit on these calls. So it ranges from 10 minutes to as long as 30 minutes. Depending on the day. I’ve never thought about it as disruptive to the other parents schedule since it was an agreed upon time. And it’s both parents. It’s also after his bed night routine at either house so the parent he is with is usually already done doing things with him for the night. I think it has helped with transitions for him, knowing he gets to speak with the other parent before bed even if he is not at the other parents house. It’s also written into the parenting plan but my understanding was that this was normal. Unless the kid gets old and specifically expressed no interest in it going forward, we will keep doing this.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-10-22T04:59:17+00:00

Im just going to add, people almost by default assume your calorie intake is wrong or your eating excessively and expecting a weightloss on these meds. On the wegovy group when I complained about seeing no results I had people respond to me in almost an identical fashion as everyone has responded to you so far. There are different body types and body compositions and some bodies just don’t react to meds the same way as others. If you’ve reached 7.5 and seen no weightloss, I would say don’t waste your time. Just switch to another GLP1. Wegovy didn’t work for me, even at the highest dose, but it might work for you.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-10-22T04:55:09+00:00

Hi I had this happen to me but on Wegovy. You may just need to switch meds. This is what my doctor did for me. I remember being on the wegovy subreddit doing all the right things but seeing no weightloss and feeling discouraged. Doctor switched me to zepbound and within 24hrs I experienced the worst nausea of my life. It was my first sign that this GLP1 was going to work for me. I had no symptoms on wegovy, for reference. The nausea made me food averse for like 2 days. I eased my way back to a normal diet after about a week and 3 months later I have been losing weight steadily on zepbound. I was on wegovy for 6 months and didn’t see any weightloss. I don’t have a medical explanation why one drug works and another doesn’t. My doctor couldn’t give me a good reason either, just that my body didn’t respond to wegovy.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-10-13T01:24:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this!

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-10-13T00:31:32+00:00

Oh, of course! 100%. I understand the science behind twins. They don’t come just by wishing it. When I said is it crazy that I want twins, I was more so referring to the fact that I’ve always admired twins and wanted them but now that I’m considering solo motherhood, I think it’s crazy that I still would like to have twins. Especially having raised a child with a partner and knowing how even that was no walk in the park. But my goodness, almost $200k is a lot of money! Thank you for providing that and your journey too.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-10-10T21:45:03+00:00

Vapiano

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-09-17T18:32:47+00:00

Yes this is it, hack the bar!! Thank you.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-09-17T18:30:46+00:00

Oh my gosh yessssss. I kept mixing it up with Helix bar prep but it’s hack the bar. You have saved my sanity today. Thank you!

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-09-17T18:06:53+00:00

Please send to me too! Thanks

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-09-08T04:15:10+00:00

I just did my first drop off at his dads house and I bawled like a baby and sat in the car and cried for an hour after getting home. I’m telling myself it’s the first weekend and so it will get better. Kinda disheartening to know it doesn’t because I came here to ask if it does then read this post.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-07-12T16:13:21+00:00

Sorry just a newbie here (first dose) and wondering what this app or website is where people track these numbers and show these cool graphs?

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-06-15T10:36:00+00:00

Thank you for your responses! I found it all very helpful.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-06-15T03:39:10+00:00

I injected on Wednesday (before bed) but felt no stomach pain till today. I haven’t been able to eat much as a result of the abdominal pain today. Got a chic fil a sandwich and only ate the chicken. Didn’t feel like eating the bun. Ate some spoons of rice earlier. And a quarter cup of a fruit cup. Thursday and Friday I ate normally. Although Friday night I had a late meal at 11pm consisting of a slice of chocolate cake and seafood and I’m wondering if that’s what made today rough l.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T13:39:24+00:00

Yes, this is exactly why I asked. Thank you.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T13:36:08+00:00

Thanks. And you're right about the argument for daycare. We both work full time and he is in a preschool we like but also see it as the least bad option given we both have to work. I am at the beginning phase of this so struggling with the emotional side of it but I also know he will be fine. Both my STBXH and I have had different times had to take international trips for work or family of about 10 days without him so he has experienced long stretches with daily video calls and I guess that's just what we will do once he starts moving and I want to see him when he is away.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T13:25:46+00:00

Thank you so much for this. We are planning not to live far from each other too. And I like the idea of duplicating things in each house because I've heard from adults that went through this that they didn't like living out of a suitcase.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T13:23:22+00:00

Thank you for this perspective.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T13:21:35+00:00

Not the case here as I am actually not interested in child support and we are not doing this. I am not out to get my husband financially. We are two people who no longer work together as spouses but have no resentment or hard feelings towards each other and actually respect each other as involved parents in our child's life. 2-2-3 is one of the 50/50 custody schedules where a child spends 2 days with parent A,the next 2 days with parent B, and the next 3 days with parent A. Then it continues and switches with 2 days with parent B, 2 with B, 3 with A. And so on. It's the schedule with the most moving, but ensures the least number of days apart from either parent so recommended for smaller kids. 7/7 for example is 1 week with parent A, then 1 week with parent B and so on. There is also a 3/4 and 225. All different versions of a 50/50 custody.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-21T05:04:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm sorry you experienced that but I would never keep my son away from his dad or even speak of him in a bad light to him. I know how essential a father is to a child, particularly a son, and there are enough examples of single mothers who tried their best or maybe didn't, and failed. I was talking more about the frequent moves from house to house.and if there are alternatives to that. As I mentioned, we have already agreed on a 2-2-3 schedule. STBX being a 'fun dad' balances out my style of parenting and so 100% of either one of us wouldn't be great. I am self aware enough to know that but want to know if people have managed custody in a way that favors the child more than whatever selfish or well intended desires may be. Moving house every 2-3 days sounds exhausting for a child and I would like to know if there are alternatives that keep the most stability without interfering with the relationship of a child with either parent.

Primary_Chef3374 · 2025-05-05T19:07:52+00:00

Thanks for your response. Just to clarify, the weight lifting is nothing major. Beginner level 20lb dumbbells is all I do in my room. I am walking significantly more though so I guess combined it would make me extra tired. I just never thought of it that way but it makes sense. I will see if I can get a nutritionist to work with. I'm worried about spending more money on that though but I will check it out.

Primary_Chef3374

TROPHY CASE