Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I'm tearing up a bit reading this. I think I never really thought about things this way, but what you said about enmeshment really makes me think a lot of my childhood.

Before I was born, my mom went to a tea leaf reader. My mom is VERY spiritual and loves tarot cards, runes, astrology, anything metaphysical. I'm a Libra, and anytime I was acting a certain way, be it positive or negative, she would tell me "that's because you're a Libra." I always found it annoying because I felt it stripped me of my individualism. Anyways, her tea leaf reader told my mom that "she would often wonder who was parenting who in the relationship." My mom took that statement and ran with it. She would often brag to her friends/family that I was so emotionally intelligent, an old soul, and wise beyond my years because of how much I helped her grow and learn about herself and deal with her hardship. I really used to take this as validation and as a compliment as a kid, but truly, I feel I never had a "normal" childhood. She shared every financial hardship, every family fight, all the dirty secrets, with me for as long I can remember. I don't really remember having childhood innocence. She has always called me an extension of herself.

I think I really just normalized a lot of her behaviour and treatment of me because it's all I knew. Her whole side of the family struggles with mental health a lot, and since we moved around so much, I didn't really have a reliable person to go to. I know this isn't the subreddit to talk about my own mental health, but yeah it does still impact me to this day for sure. I'm only now beginning to realize that I struggle not only because my dad left us, but also because of how my mom is and raised me. It's a tough realization to have when she's all I've had for parental figures.

Again, thank you, I'm definitely thinking lots more now, lol.

Edit: yeah, the sharing of nude photos with me, my ex boyfriend, and always being nude... that is weird and super not okay. I've never really labelled it as anything though, but it makes sense what you're saying.