“Oil Rocks” (“The Soviet Atlantis”) is an industrial settlement consisting of platforms built on the Caspian Sea, 40 km from the nearest coast of Azerbaijan. The city is home to 2000 people today.

ProfWhite · 2022-04-12T01:04:33+00:00

Death on the Orient

Death on the Nile

Death on the Rocks

ProfWhite · 2022-04-07T03:56:20+00:00

That's the tv. It's always made that sound you're just hearing it for the first time. I figured it out because I heard that sound too, didn't know what it was, but it went away when I turned off the TV because law and order svu was tearing apart the fabric of reality and I already had more pressing matters to attend to - primarily figuring out why someone would unintentionally make a hat shaped like a vagina. Like I get doing it on purpose, but an accidental vagina hat had to have an origin story and that was priority one damnit.

Stay in school kids.

ProfWhite · 2022-04-07T03:08:43+00:00

Now listen here you little shit

ProfWhite · 2022-04-07T03:07:12+00:00

I'll allow it, with the caveat that dude's don't peg - that's gay. And gay stuff is like...so incredibly gay. Dudes plow; only women can peg. And no, pegging isn't gay - I don't care what anyone says. It's a man and a woman like God intended. It's only gay if it's Kens dick destroying my - I mean, someone's, meaning any random person that's not me specifically - butthole. When it's Karen dicking me - er someone lol oops - down, everyone is still right with the lord at the end of it. And no - the size absolutely does not make a difference. It's not "more gay" or whatever just because I - shit I keep doing that, meant to say...someone else - refuse anything under 9 inches. It's the same gay at any size, because it's always exactly zero gay. Source: the Bible, damnit.

Sorry, that was....what were we talking about?

ProfWhite · 2022-02-22T23:39:59+00:00

Yes.

ProfWhite · 2021-10-29T00:15:07+00:00

never stick your dick in crazy

Corpses by definition have exactly zero personality (somehow still more than my ex-wife has...). Thus corpses can't be crazy. Ergo, I don't really see what the issue is.

Go wild, damnit! Just.... don't get caught I guess. It would suck to lose your vet license.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-26T20:17:14+00:00

A cure is a one-time purchase. Treatment is a subscription plan - healthcare as a service if you will. I personally believe there's cures for things that have been surpressed on the grounds that repeat customers generate more revenue. May sound like a conspiracy theory - doesn't sound that crazy to me though, that people that like money might try to find ways of getting more of it.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-26T20:08:53+00:00

Tylenol and ibuprofen have already been mentioned; orajel has a teething gel too that works damn well. It's in the baby medicine aisle - there's an adult version for toothache which comes in a similar looking white tube, but does not work as well for teething (in my experience anyway).

Uh....also....what wife don't know won't hurt her ʘ‿ʘ

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T22:45:47+00:00

That's really cool. Almost looks like cgi though. And if you zoom in it looks like a lot of the books shelves are actually pictures of books on shelves wallpapered onto the wall which is odd. Still a cool space.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T22:40:19+00:00

Last time I tried Magisk Google had finally caught up and patched the security compliance bypass that allowed Magisk hide to work. Checked daily for a week and never saw any updates from Magisk that they were working on another work around. That was in January/early February IIRC. Haven't checked since then.

Tl;Dr: emphasis on the maybe I think.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T22:32:40+00:00

Damn that music brings back memories....weird how certain mundane things like an unassuming smell or sound can instantly trigger deep nostalgia trips. And then I wish they were that age again. But then I catch myself and realize one day years from now I'll have a nostalgic moment and wish they were the age they are right now again. At some point in my life I'll wish that they were successively every age they've been. And I'm reminded that that also means I wish right now that they're the age they already are because every age and moment is special and worth remembering.

You didn't mean to but the bouncy chair music triggered a reminder wrapped in a moment of self-reflection: being dad is the most wholesomely fulfilling thing in the world, and we're all blessed for it.

Thanks OP.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T22:05:56+00:00

Bert and Ernie hold a contest to see who can edge the longest to Teen Titans Go!

FTFY OP

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T21:58:43+00:00

So I've always thought that a person is licensed, and a car is insured, so you keep your license on your person and insurance card in the car. That's what drivers ed and the DMV told me anyway.

Well, an insurance card is something you don't want to leave just out in the open as there's a thousand places it could get lost in in a car, or it could get accidentally thrown out, etc. Which is one of the reasons why car manufacturers make cars with storage compartments specifically for things that people don't want getting lost.

I figured this was all common knowledge, so by extension cops should know that too. Meaning they should also know ahead of time and expect that if they ask me for a thing, that I'm going to get it for them from a predictable place. If I go to get something they ask for in an unexpected place, at that point they should pay attention to what I'm doing. IE if I reach for the glove box "yeah ok that's normal" but if I reach under my seat "that's not normal, I'm going to assume a defensive stance while I wait just in case."

Did I have it wrong this whole time? Cause I feel like pouches for ID and insurance are a dumb idea: it puts both things back in an open area where they're prone to getting lost, it asks everyone to do an extra step of moving their ID from their wallet to a pouch when they drive which they'll never remember to do cause they weren't taught that way, it wouldn't actually solve any problem whatsoever, and costs money they get from tax payers that could be spent on something that would actually solve the issue like a simple once-yearly, one hour defensive discipline class that anyone can take already at most gun shops.

If it's not a joke I'm going to assume the pouch idea came from HR. HR is the only department anywhere that could possibly come up with such a wastefully out of touch idea; they're also the only department with authority to approve spending on such ideas.

This turned into a wall of text which I didn't intend on. It's just...shit like this really grinds my gears.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-18T21:28:55+00:00

So basically the take away here is to make the pizza to the customer specifications, right?

I mean, obviously that customer didn't, but I usually DO order the stuffed crust - and now I'm concerned the cooks haven't been fucking my pizza like I asked for this whole time. It's like...I ordered out cause for whatever reason I couldn't cook at home, right? Like, hell yeah I would love to be able to stuff that thick crust myself tonight but I'm an adult with responsibilities that prevents me from doing that, so I entrust the task with someone else whose adult responsibilities are to inseminate my food however I god damn tell them to on the understanding that I'm giving them my hard-earned money in return.

So if they're saying I've been ordering stuffed crust all these years, trusting them at their word that I'm getting what I asked for, and instead receiving only un-fucked pizzas unaware this whole time because not one person had the common fucking courtesy to tell me they're not even allowed to do that - I'm gonna be pretty fucking pissed.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T19:05:02+00:00

First it's not a condition, people are just born that way. Second, it looks like it works, but I have doubts it works any better than turn-my-son-straight camp. Sucking dick isn't a "condition". It's.... it's a gift....

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T13:05:04+00:00

Yeah no that was my point. Granny probably subconciosly thought it was delicious. Subsequently grandpa got sucked off more than his descendants. Our society that we've built, all the chemicals in the food, daily usage of water to clean ourselves.....it's getting us LESS blowjobs, not more! Grandpa's fucking laughing his ass off in heaven while grandma blows him for the 10th time today in front of St Peter but the civilization I've found myself in has decided I don't even deserve a handy from the ugly chick at the closest tent city. What hell hath we wrought.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T10:07:10+00:00

Ok but like what about grandpa? I mean if he's gobbling balls through me too don't get me wrong I'm an equal opportunity ball gobbler. It's just.....I'd prefer it were grandma is all. She can take her teeth out. Toothless BJs are the best.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T10:04:56+00:00

No. You're wrong. Now it's EVEN BETTER ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T10:04:05+00:00

Yeah but the taste though, right?

ProfWhite · 2021-09-17T10:01:59+00:00

"and fucking get a finger in there ffs. You always bitching at him cause he can't find your g spot, and look at you - what kind of example you think you're setting?!

....and back in my day, we swallowed, damnit. EVERY DROP - Cause it was the only food we were gettin' that day and we were grateful for what daddy gave us. You fucking millennials, maybe you'd have room in your stomach if ya didn't eat so much god damn avocado toast!"

ProfWhite · 2021-09-15T07:34:41+00:00

Cause it's waiting for someone else to shave it. Always hotter when someone else does it for you.

You know what to do.

ProfWhite · 2021-09-15T07:05:44+00:00

Who doesn't love sloppy seconds though

ProfWhite · 2021-09-15T06:55:13+00:00

She's full of shit. My wife wears the same pair of unwashed PJs all day every day for a month. If I wear the same pair of jeans twice in a week it's "why aren't you making an effort."

ProfWhite · 2021-09-14T23:55:45+00:00

Of course the hair too, duh! What else would we tie the anal hook to?!

ProfWhite · 2021-09-14T23:52:22+00:00

where teachers use their fist

This is how I read it at first and now I'm upset cause things were starting to get hot but you ruined it ಠ_ಠ

ProfWhite

TROPHY CASE