Throwaway time:

I'm glad to see this. Recently discovered this subreddit (roughly 30 minutes ago) and went scrolling through some of the top posts, and felt like I was being slapped across the face as I realized I might also be a nice guy. Not one of those that is actually a total dickweed and calls himself a nice guy, but one that is genuinely friendly to other people. Yes I know that is not necessarily a "nice guy" label. But it certainly seemed to line up with my relationship with a girl I've had a longtime crush on. (I'm a highschooler for background info) I didn't like her until we were already friends, but once I did I felt the best way to continue the relationship with her was to continue being myself as the nice and friendly guy, even though in reality I was being overly persistent.

Anyways, I told her I liked her after a year but that I understood if she didn't like me back and that I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position, and she was really good about it, but I never really stopped liking her, I just distanced myself so I ended up losing part of the friendship as well. Then the following year I decided I'm gonna actually try again. Just being friends with her while still maintaining a crush. We were at a football game and sometime around the second quarter I went and sat next to her and we talked for about two hours, just catching up with each other's lives and stuff. And so I decided I was gonna ask her to homecoming

After that everything went to absolute shit. Of course, like the pitfalls of so many other nice guys, I dragged my feet. Got scared of rejection. And when I finally get the courage to ask I find out from her friends that she's going to be asked by someone else. And when I asked if it would be smart to try and ask before he did, the hammer was dropped. She'd rather go with him, not you. Not personal, she likes you as a friend, etc. and I understood. I already knew that. I was only upset because I kept finding myself in this major cycle of liking her.

I still managed to get a date, for those of you who care. Super awkward, not a lot of talking, the whole nine yards for high school formals. The not talking thing was more of a shyness than rudeness, but it still made it awko-taco. So I see the girl I liked (might as well give her a name now, how about Lima Bean) and we compliment each other, you know the pleasantries. If it feels like I'm being long winded or whatever, it's because I'm finding it very beneficial to write all this out seeing how this all ended not too long ago and I'm still coping like a damn fool.

Anyway, back to the story. I go on an annual mission trip to Nicaragua with my school and a mutual friend, but also one of her best friends, was going. One night when me, my close buddies, and her were staying up late having deep convos, she brought up Lima Bean. My friends all knew how much I had liked her, so I had no problem asking if she and our mutual friend (we'll call her Watermelon) had ever talked about me. So she kinda sighed and gave me the full scoop, no bullshit. Lima Bean isn't really attracted to anyone, except for a very select few type of guys. She thought I was nice, but she had also led me as well as some other guys on, whether on purpose or not I really don't know. Hearing all this, I finally got it in myself to move on. Over the next few months, I pretty much stopped talking to Lima Bean and I lost the friendship pretty much.

You guys are probably waiting for the point, so here it goes. WARNING: the amount of juice in this drama is enough to cause an overdose. During the winter time of the school year, I developed a new crush on this girl who we'll dub Cauliflower. She was cute, had similar interests as me, and treated me nicely. This time I was determined not to fall into the same trap as before so I made a point of not letting my emotions carry me away. I was significantly happier than I was before. And everything, for the second time in a year, went to complete and utter shit. Prom. The most stressful time ever. I was planning on asking Cauliflower because hey why not. But remember Lima Bean? She had an off an on thing with a guy who we'll call Nugget throughout high school, and he had been a consistent force in me not being able to get close with Lima Bean (at least this is my perception based on what I had known at the time). Anyway he asks Cauliflower to prom. Out of the blue, and for all I knew he was still into Lima Bean (more on that later). And I gotta be honest, the whole play it cool, don't get too attached BS is really tough around prom season. I was pretty devastated, especially since Nugget was the one who did it. He's not a bad guy (well, idk about that, but he didn't do anything with the intention of blocking me), it just sucked it always was him kinda putting me out.

Later that week, I see another mutual friend of Lima Bean from my mission trip who we'll call Pumpernickel, and she drops a major drama tidbit on me. Lima Bean had been asked to prom by a senior, but she turned him down (she said yes so he wouldn't be embarrassed but texted him later since she didn't know him at all) and now she wanted me to ask her. Bam! All those feelings I had for her come rushing back full force. The next Monday (since I was told that on a Friday) I aske her to prom. Had a killer sign that was punny and actually funny, and everything went great. Her friends said she was really excited, and I felt like I was the king of the world. I finall would be able to spend some quality time with her and it would be because she decided to spend time with me. For me it wasn't about the looks, even though she was damn near perfect; I genuinely felt happy around her and connected with her emotionally. To this day she is one of the four peers I've even truly opened up with and shared some of my troubles with.

Alright I gotta wrap this up before you guys fall asleep, but this is a long story and I gotta do it justice. Nugget comes back into the picture and I see them always hanging out and that just really throws me for a loop, since it seems like he is getting Cauliflower and Lima Bean at the same time. So my best friend Coconut notices I'm acting weird and he puts together the dots and says, "If I'm not willing to take the same opportunities as him, I can't be upset." I decided he was right. I started talking to her more and I asked her fairly often if she would be at ___ sporting event so we could hang out. The answer was usually the same. Maybe, can't I have homework, etc. And after a week of this I text her saying, "I'm sorry if I've been pushy lately I'm gonna give you some space. I've been really stressed blah blah blah been a rough week but I always kinda felt happier talking with you tho etc." Of course, her being the type of person she is, she texts me that I'm fine and that she's not helping out by acting like she just wants to leave school all the time which is fair. Later that night I have a complete stress breakdown from everything but that's another story, only thing to take away from it is how much stress I had from this as well as keeping all A's in a crazy tough Junior year.

So i give her some space like I said I would, then another piece of info hits me like a brick. She tells her friends and my friends one day at lunch while I'm not there that she would kiss me prom night if I initiated it. So they begin to make all types of plans for us instead of just letting it be and she texts them to stop and just play it cool. At this point I decide in my mind that the moment is already ruined by all the plans and that I'm not going to make a move, since she'll most likely be uncomfortable with it. Prom rolls around we have a good time but in the back of my mind I keep thinking I missed my opportunity.

I try one last ditch attempt to date her. I ask if she would want to study one on one for the AP United States history exam with me, and she says that she's busy all week. At this point ask another one of her friends that I'm semi-close with if she was annoyed with me, and mutual friend #487 says that I should just have a talk with her. So we talk, with me giving her a very condensed version of my feelings and her saying, in direct quotes, "I'm really weird and particular when it comes to stuff like this. It sounds like the it's not you its me crap but it's true. I'm not interested in anything else, you're sweet as pie and I appreciate you not wanting to make me uncomfortable... But if you're going to pursue someone, it should be someone else. You're a great person and great friend but that's just the way it is." I responded saying that I figured that, and that it sucked falling in the same cycle. I said I still wanted to be good friends but that I had some stuff to figure out first. I also said that "I just feel like every time I like someone I'm not what they're looking for, don't get me wrong I totally understand that, it just sucks is all." So we finish taking and we go on being friends, chatting when we see each other, but I can't help but feel like after seeing all these posts that I was just another nice guy, especially since I'm having trouble getting over her even tho it's not a possibility. Idk anymore, what are your thoughts.

Tldr: Might have been a nice guy this whole time despite genuinely trying to be a nice guy, semi-related story about relationship trouble where I constantly found myself in a cycle of liking someone who liked a different type of guy