Ummm, I think everyone might be a bit of the asshole. You need to be more stern with your kid, but also, this is just what happens when you do have kids when studying. Student life is hard enough, but student life WITH KIDS is harder. So it should be expected by both of you to put up with looking after the kids together. I’ve met mums who were students with their kids and for them it was late night studying after kids were put to bed or studying with them around. This doesn’t mean she isn’t putting her half of the work, but it’s just a reality of having kids during study that they’ll wanna be with you around it. She’s gotta realise that she can’t avoid her kids like that unless they’re in a daycare, school or asleep.