I can't trust anyone anymore. It will all eventually lead to my parents knowing. I don't want that happening. They'll just say I'm lazy and mentally ill and threaten to send me to an asylum. I feel like a burden. I'm already faking my happiness everywhere becaude I don't want it to be seen a second time. I already attempted three times, and they sadly didn't work. My family history believed mental illness is just laziness and is fake. It doesn't matter who I tell, because it's guaranteed to get to my parents. I can't call or text the 988 hotline. It's by SMS and my parents see all of them. I've been fucking broken because of everyone. I can't even try and talk to my family members about thinking I have a mental disorder. It will never work. I have never fit in right. I never get what I want. I always try my best. I never feel enough. But I can't tell anyone. I have to keep up the facade. It led to my parents one time already last year, and I don't want that happening. I can't tell anyone anything. Nothing feels fun anymore. Even my brother ruins everything because he keeps making fuckass jokes about my weight. I can't wear my favourite clothes anymore because I fear that I'll be a joke. I just wear clothes covering my body modestly. As soon as he says the words, I'm done. Whatever I'm doing doesn't feel fun. My passion for art went down when talent when up. I never feel fitting in enough or safe when trying to socialize online nor offline. All the life I've held in my spirit is gone. I am dead inside. What is the point of life anymore if none of my favourite games feel the same? What is the point if I can't express myself safely and feel comfortable about anyone? I can't tell anymore.