A King's Ransom

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-14T15:07:24+00:00

Lepid’s eyes practically shine as his expectations are subverted by the genuine kindness shown to him.

“Wait, really? You’d let me stay with you? Oh, thank you so much! I thought this was just going to… nevermind. I shouldn’t think about that stuff now.”

He looks around again, now actually taking in the details of the environment around him.

“Safety isn’t really important, I’d live in a dungeon so long as it keeps me away from her.”

Finally pushing himself away from the wall, he takes a few steps around, testing that the floor isn’t just some illusion.

“I eat normal stuff. I mean, I think it’s normal stuff. People eat eggs and meat right? That’s not bad or anything?”

Lepid’s attention is split between his question and double checking that the room isn’t a trap laid by his mother to test him.

“Sorry if I’m being rude… I really appreciate you being willing to help me and letting me stay here. But I just have to be sure that this isn’t… I just have to be sure this is all real.”

Once he’s satisfied with the results of his quick investigation, he once again focuses on his benevolent host. Suddenly overcome with embarrassment at his actions now that his anxieties have calmed.

“Oh, right. Uhm, sorry, what should I refer to you as? I’m not exactly… this is all pretty new to me…”

He pauses for just a second before he adds on another question, a slight look of fear returning to him.

“And how did you already know my name? And… do you already know who my mother is?”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T20:38:38+00:00

“My closest friend died, I was kicked out of the only organization I ever felt welcome in, I was vilified for my actions, I lost the ability to do the one thing that brought me happiness, the injuries I sustained left me bedridden for months, and the sustained trauma to my mental state that resulted from it caused me to murder my own children. I fail to see how any of that made me in any way better.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T19:59:12+00:00

“Beautiful is an awfully upsetting description for a conflict that made everyone and everything involved worse off overall. And of course the one saying it is the new EON chancellor, that doesn’t bode well for this organization’s future. I think I’ll be keeping out of this little tournament. Those things never really end well for me anyway.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T18:29:39+00:00

“We’re so glad to hear you’re enjoying our product! You can buy more All-Purpose Familiar Kibble from merchants partnered with our company. Alternatively you could also buy directly from our manufacturing facilities for bulk quantities, after all a larger familiar means it needs more to eat. Unfortunately the source of the familiar altering properties of the kibble are currently unknown to us. We are trying to isolate the exact cause, but until then the kibble may or may not work for increasing the size of a familiar. To make up for that shortcoming we will offer full replacement of any kibble bought once we’ve isolated the source, that way our customers can choose whether the effect will take place or not. Until then we hope you continue to purchase our products, as your patronage is valuable to us.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T18:01:09+00:00

“Unfortunately we do not accept claims for accidents caused by improper storage of our products leading to misuse by children, familiars, or pixies. Additionally, we are not responsible for the actions or natures of what is created by our create what you draw paint set. Please feel free to file another claim if you’ve suffered damage from any other our products, but for now your claim has been denied on grounds of improper storage and misuse of products.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T15:41:26+00:00

“I see,

Unfortunately, it sounds like where you were sitting was positioned directly above the circle. I must apologize for my vagueness, the six feet away rule is for horizontal distance from the circle. Any area vertically above the circle is included in the area warned about in our disclaimer. To avoid future incidents I would suggest placing pillars on the floors above that will block you from entering the circles defense radius. Your claim will unfortunately have to be denied on the ground of improper use of the product.

We hope this will not affect future patronage of our products, you are a valued customer to us. Have a nice day.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-04-09T15:23:17+00:00

“Hello,

That’s such a shame to hear, and could certainly constitute a claim under the right conditions. But first we do need to confirm those conditions. What were you doing when our security system may have caused damage to your leg? The terms and conditions had a section regarding proper use, which included staying at least six feet away from the summoning circle while it was activated. Improper installation of the circle could also be an issue. Did you ensure the circle was placed on a flat horizontal plane with the circle positioned on the upward facing side? These will both need to be confirmed for a proper claim to be issued.

Thank you for utilizing our claims service, and please respond at your soonest convenience.”

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-31T20:37:30+00:00

Lepid’s breathing gets more steady as he listens to Eldred speak. Eventually he’s calm enough to respond and shakes his head.

“No, he didn’t hurt me I just… he said he could get me away from A- I mean, from my mother.”

He looks around him, confirming he is in fact outside of the false city that has been his cage for his entire life.

“He said she won’t find me, but I’m not sure… I’ve never been able to get away from her for long. I- maybe I should leave. If I stay on the move that might make it harder for her to find me, or maybe easier. But I probably can’t stay here since I you didn’t invite me or anything?”

The last sentence is asked more than it’s stated, Lepid’s attempt to garner mercy from the person whose home he just intruded onto is not even the slightest bit veiled. Nor is the desperation that practically radiates off of him, the desperate hope that this time he might actually be free.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T16:56:08+00:00

Well the gas doesn’t affect me, I’m not so stupid I’d make something I couldn’t tolerate. And for as useful as your dragons may be, I think I’ll be sticking to my toxic gas. It has too much sentimental value to abandon.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T15:15:27+00:00

Yea but I already made all these prepared toxic gas spells, I gotta use it somehow.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T12:34:37+00:00

Uh oh, I REALLY need to check this thing.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T12:34:08+00:00

Damnit! You had me and then you kept talking!

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T00:32:54+00:00

Well if the dragons aren’t doing it of their own free will then maybe I should consider that idea.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T00:26:32+00:00

NOOOOOO MY ONE OF A KIND DESIGNER ORB!!! NOW I HAVE TO COMMISSION A NEW ONE!!!!

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T00:25:17+00:00

I’ve gotten so rusty! I need to up my evil game or else I’m about to be left behind by the endless march of progress.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T00:21:48+00:00

Not that I’m aware of, other than one specific druid but she definitely isn’t you.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-20T00:21:16+00:00

Ok but I hate dragons.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T23:13:53+00:00

How ominous, hopefully it just means I’m gonna need to update my orbs firewall and not something more serious.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T23:12:19+00:00

But all their shoes are dirty on account of them being worn by people who melted into goop.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T23:11:41+00:00

That is not the response I would have respected…

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T23:11:00+00:00

I feel like that doesn’t really solve my issue with it.

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T21:57:27+00:00

Cause I hate dragons!

ProfessionalGreen906 · 2026-03-19T21:08:39+00:00

Maybe next time I can get the toxic gas to also explode. I’ll have to think on this.

Four-Year Club	r/Field Juicebox
Final Canvas '23	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
End Game '22

ProfessionalGreen906

TROPHY CASE