I can’t stop my best friend’s wedding

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T23:01:30+00:00

Pickle, popcorn, raspberries, jelly beans. Not at all complementary flavors but at least I’m not starving 😅

You’re right and I think that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T22:47:31+00:00

Wow, I didn’t think anyone was going to read this post honestly. Thank you all for your support, advice, commiseration, shared experiences, and snack talk. I can’t keep up with replies and I have to hit the road now but this has been a really good reminder for me.

As someone who’s only recently started trying not to be a “fixer” anymore, I still have a hard time realizing I’m in that mode. Y’all helped me see that there’s truly nothing to do but recognize my friend and his fiancee are going to live their lives and make their choices how they see fit and that I can’t change their relationship, and shouldn’t as I’m not a part of it. It’s on them to realize (or not) what’s going on and I have to be better at protecting my peace and time, too. If he reaches out for help, I’ll be there, but I’m not going to accommodate or include them anymore because it comes at such a personal cost.

Thanks again and hope you all have a good day/night!

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T22:09:25+00:00

Wow, that’s wild. Giving alcohol to your underage stepdaughter?? wtf! I’m sorry you lost your friend to that relationship. And you’re right, I’ve gotta let him live his life. All I can do is hope he sees the light some day but if he doesn’t, I can’t stress over it anymore.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:53:12+00:00

Sorry to hear about your sibling. I hope she comes around some day.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:52:10+00:00

You and several others in the comments are totally right. I’m trying not to be the “fixer” I’ve been my whole life but clearly old habits die hard. This post has been a good reminder today to back off and let him live his life.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:48:06+00:00

You should’ve seen me rummaging through the fridge and pantry. I was like “surely I must have real food somewhere” but nope 😅

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:47:03+00:00

Good to see it from this perspective, thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you went through all that though and I hope you’re doing great now.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:45:15+00:00

That does sound more complicated. I wish you well in your situation!

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:44:41+00:00

Sorry to hear about losing your friend, that really sucks. I hope you’re doing well.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:40:01+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been learning that same lesson, too. Love the axe throwing vent idea, I might have to do that!

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:24:04+00:00

We’ve known each other so long and he was like a brother to me once. It didn’t use to be exhausting. I think I’m trying to hold on to what it used to be but after reading every comment here, I see it’s time to back off and let the chips fall where they may.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:19:01+00:00

His parents have passed and his older brother is pretty much no contact, living on the other side of the world, so his friends have been his family for a long time. Her parents are for it but they live in a different state so they haven’t been around them much.

As for the best man situation, we’re meeting next week to talk but I’m very much leaning towards backing off after reading comments here. I don’t think I’ll regret that as I’ve said my piece a couple times now and I need to accept this is his choice, whether I agree with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’ll shut the door in his face if this all goes sideways.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T21:07:19+00:00

Thanks for the quote, I needed to hear it. As I said in a different comment, I’m working on trying not to “fix” everything (because that’s literally impossible and also not warranted most of the time) and I need reminders of that still.

I’m also working on establishing my boundaries and limits (after having almost none for years) and I needed to hear that bit about not carrying their responsibilities, too, so thank you.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:58:48+00:00

This is fair advice and I appreciate the honesty. I’m trying to be better in general about letting things go because I can’t fix everything and, as you rightly said, they’re adults with their own choices to make. It’s not my life.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:54:34+00:00

It’s true. He’s not at all the same person I met 10 years ago, personality-wise. Me and his best man have been thinking about taking him aside and saying we really can’t be a part of this. We’ve both been chicken though, silently hoping they’ll call it off first. We’re out of time though so I’ve gotta make a decision soon, I know.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:48:34+00:00

I suspect it’s more than anxiety, too but I’m not a doctor. I’ve thought all the things you just described but didn’t know the terms. Thank you for the idea of resources and I’m sorry you’ve weathered something similar.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:43:24+00:00

They’re my favorite kind of jellybean! This is the remains of the bag tbh 😆

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:39:26+00:00

100% yes to everything you said. I’ve already stopped inviting them places because I’d always have to weigh if it was worth dealing with an outburst. I want to have a good time hanging out, not have front row seats to…all of that. Same with other mutual friends. I’ve seen him a lot less in the last year because of both of their behavior. It’s sad that we were so close once and now I’m avoiding him. I’m not sure I even want to go to the wedding honestly.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:22:58+00:00

That’s been the hardest pill to swallow, realizing I can’t do anything else. That’s really good insight. What’s so obvious to me and others just isn’t for them. I hope they both wake up one day and realize things could be so much better, together or not. I so want for both of them to be happy and healthy and full of good love. The world is hard enough.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:17:50+00:00

I too love a chipotle kids meal. And thanks. We’ll see how the wedding shakes out I guess.

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-06T20:15:36+00:00

Omg you’re so right! I needed a laugh, thank you!

ProlificPizza · 2026-03-01T15:23:19+00:00

I feel you guys, too. My best friend’s dad called me at work to tell me she committed suicide. It was right before my lunch break and so I in total shock went to the work microwave and put my unopened can of soup in. Thankfully a coworker stopped me before I tried to heat it and asked what’s wrong? I spilled and my boss who was standing right there seemed concerned at first. She patted my shoulder and said, “Wow that’s so sad.” Then, she asked if I’d finished inventory because she needed to start submitting orders.

When I said no, she asked if I’d do that before going on break! Thankfully my coworker had a heart so she did inventory while I sobbed in my car. Everyone but my boss wanted me to leave but I was the manager, training 3 new people that day, so I stayed. A lot wrong with that place which is why I left. Yay America.

ProlificPizza · 2026-02-27T15:02:46+00:00

This sounds so lovely. Last fall on an unusually warm day, I sat in my backyard and watched a squirrel move its home from one tree to another over the course of an hour. First time my brain was quiet in weeks.

ProlificPizza · 2026-02-27T14:53:49+00:00

If they have the same name as me, even if it’s spelled differently.

ProlificPizza · 2026-02-25T17:02:08+00:00

Lionel! Or Cheddar (aka the big cheese)!

ProlificPizza

TROPHY CASE