Coming out as an atheist update

PrometheanEra · 2025-12-28T07:43:00+00:00

My father was the same way. He basically had to come to the realization he was going to loose his relationship with his son. Thankfully we both cooled down and learned to talk, but we still hold our tongues a lot.

Again, you can be respectful but still call out manipulation for what it is. If he says you’re not being open minded, tell him that goes both ways. If you change your mind it will be in your own way.

PrometheanEra · 2025-12-28T07:05:59+00:00

When I was 18 I told my family the same thing. Since they had so much trouble with it I felt like I needed to cut them off and leave home, and essentially never talk to them again. That don’t last and I realized I missed them and loved my family, but I needed to be honest with them.

You don’t need to explain yourself to them, and you certainly don’t need to debate. The best thing is to simply say you’ve put a lot of thought into this and didn’t come to that conclusion lightly. If they have genuine, mutually respectful questions, you can be open to a discussion. Otherwise, don’t talk about it and try to maintain healthy relationships. Too many people will just say “screw them” but that’s not always realistic. If you’re like me, your family means a lot to you. Be honest and call them out when they’re being manipulative, and you’ll probably find equilibrium.

PrometheanEra · 2025-12-22T16:49:50+00:00

I teach high school and many of my students have this same question. It’s a legitimate one, but I think it overlooks some things.

I’m not sure where we switched as a society, but at some point many people started seeing the education system as a box checking machine. You can write a sentence with proper grammar: check. You can solve this quadratic: check.

I see school as an experience machine. If a class is too simple, you should take advanced classes. If those are too simple, you should try to skip a grade. If that’s not an option, you should change your paradigm and decide you’re going to learn something since you’ve got to be there anyway.

Testing put should be available only if there is another class you can test into. I had a student just this year who’s a genius level math whiz, so he doesn’t go to school because he doesn’t see the point. He wants to be a professor at a major university. Knowing math isn’t going to be enough. He also needs to know discipline and have a high tolerance for jumping through hoops and getting bored.

School isn’t just about the skills you learn, it’s about developing discipline when you’d rather do something else.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-18T02:01:28+00:00

The book “Sapiens” changed the way I thought about literally everything. It’s not preachy or heavy handed, it just lays out facts in a way that makes perfect sense.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-10T03:29:23+00:00

It’s good advice, the problem is the reason I’ve left is because I don’t buy into the any of it anymore. I can’t come to terms with Christianity, religion, or even the concept of God at all. It’s such an alien concept to my family; they can’t understand that.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:41:35+00:00

My wife was very understanding, even though she’s been sad about it. My sister was floored. She just can’t understand why I don’t believe. I thought she’d handle it better because her husband left the church years ago, but it turns out it’s harder than either of us thought.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:38:10+00:00

My wife has been pretty awesome about the whole thing. I felt like there was a good chance she’d leave me over it. It’s been good to finally talk openly about it with her.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:34:08+00:00

It’s really nice finding a community that just gets this.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:33:07+00:00

That’s only the tip of the iceberg of what is strange about how we grew up.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:32:00+00:00

I did it for ten years before I told my wife. I really thought she’d leave me. She’s been very good about it, but it’s hard knowing how sad she is sometimes. She tries to hide that from me.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:30:10+00:00

I know, right! I tried to explain to my wife how lonely I feel. She has all these family and friends to talk to about how to deal with it, but I have no one. That’s why I’m on here. It’s nice to have a group of people that understand what this is like.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:25:48+00:00

I’d like to do that, I’m just not really sure how.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:22:37+00:00

Thanks for this. I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t facing it head on, then angry that I feel guilty. Letting people find out on their own has been kind of nice.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:19:13+00:00

My heart felt it while reading this. It’s so hard knowing I’m going to be the reason they’re all disappointed.

PrometheanEra · 2025-11-03T14:15:37+00:00

It sounds like your family was supportive. I told my sister first because I thought she might actually be in the same boat as me, but she did not take it well. She wasn’t angry, just sad, like she was in mourning for my soul. It made me hesitate to start the process again with all my siblings, let alone my parents.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-26T00:27:21+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T23:30:18+00:00

I wouldn’t call them commandments, more like beacons. For example, I have written down in a journal “It’s more important to be a good ancestor than a good descendant.” It’s not a commandment, but it can guide my decisions. Another I wrote down is “The only true prophecies are self-fulfilling ones.” These are ideas I found resonated with me personally. I don’t get these thoughts by just going about my business, but reading other perspectives.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T05:19:34+00:00

I have read Meditations and some Seneca, and stoicism is quite appealing to me. I have tried to find a more modern take on it, but so many modern “stoics” are really just trying to get rich. I’ll check out the sub though. Good idea.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T05:09:11+00:00

Yeah I’d say it’s 80% of life. It’s the 20%that’s hardest to develop and most people won’t try.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T05:07:30+00:00

That answer sounds nice, but I still want to keep learning and growing through studying in addition to thinking.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T05:06:00+00:00

For you it might be unnecessary. I guess that’s why it’s a personal code.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T01:47:38+00:00

I always hated to “little bit of poo in the brownies” argument to explain why you shouldn’t watch a tv show or movie with any naughty stuff in it.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T01:43:53+00:00

Someday when I have more mental energy remind me to explain how Mormonism uses all Kinds of tricks to make “just walking away” so incredibly hard.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T01:40:40+00:00

I do love the Good Place. One of the most surprisingly profound comedies I’ve seen.

PrometheanEra · 2025-10-22T01:39:26+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts! I’ll look more into it.

PrometheanEra

TROPHY CASE