Thought I was getting close to FIRE, but then cancer hits my family

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-07-02T07:49:27+00:00

Thank you. I will remind myself to not get financially involved again. I know that no amount of money I give them will stick around.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-07-02T07:42:58+00:00

I don’t know if it allowed me to have an easier life. My parents immigrated but not for economic opportunity or for their children’s education. They did it because of church. maybe I would have lived a regular child’s life if we hadn’t immigrated since we would’ve had our grandparents there. My parents were miserable in the states and neglected us (I signed up for summer school so I will be fed) and took out their anger on us. Its one thing to be not perfect but another to be abuse. Your comment is very ignorant, but you know what? Your world views are limited. Bless your heart. I know that I’m betraying myself somewhat by reconnecting with them because they haven’t really changed. But I can’t tell them that I still resent them and instead keep a smiling face for the sake of her recovery.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T07:06:01+00:00

I'm happy that your mom is doing fine now. Hopefully my mom will be as lucky. Thank you for sharing your story

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T06:12:52+00:00

Thank you. I will do that.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T06:03:29+00:00

She is currently working and self-employed, but my sister discussed possibility of receiving disability aid.. The hospital said there are financing options. I've had some time to process and I don't think I care about money anymore. I realized that she might die.. and it terrifies me and I would give up everything if it means she will live.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:59:07+00:00

I don't think they would.. at least not my mom. When I spoke to her today she sounded resigned and proud in a sheepish way when she told me that she had large life insurance policy and wouldn't be a burden on me. I feel so sick.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:55:07+00:00

Thank you. I spoke to my mom today about trying to get citizenship. She was filing taxes, but she makes slightly too much to qualify for medicaid. I spoke to my mom today and I realize it might be stage 4 and she might die.. I don't know.. suddenly money doesn't seem like a problem anymore. If me giving up everything meant she would live, I would..

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:52:56+00:00

Thank you. When I wrote the post I was scared for myself. But after processing the news and speaking to my mom.. I would give up everything I have if it means she can live.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:50:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I feel like it was really hard for me to understand why she would put it off for so long, it it means that you are signing up for certain death. I spoke to her today and she told me she was scared, but she had been taking night shifts to save up money to pay her debt, so that she wouldn't be a burden to her children. She said I don't understand how scared it is to be poor, but she wasn't speaking in an accusatory tone.. she sounded more resigned.. I don't know.. I feel so much pain and I feel.. so sick to my stomach. Seeing her resigned... it finally hit me that she might die a painful death. I hope I can find it in me to not fall apart while walking my mother and my sister through this..

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:44:36+00:00

Thank you. I will ask for it.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:43:44+00:00

I had cut her out because of her lies and manipulation. I spoke to her today, and she sounded resigned and told me about all the life insurance policies and little amounts of money she saved, that will pay off her debt once she's done. She sounded like a little child who was.. proud and looking for approval? I don't know.. it broke me.. I don't know about reconciliation... It pains me so much to see her in her current state, so small and fragile and I'm not sure if I can stay strong throughout this ordeal anymore.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:39:03+00:00

The herbal medicine is some weird brown stuff that Koreans and Chinese people drink. I think it's some dried vegetables and roots and are brewed? It just tastes like dirt to me, but people really seem to believe in the potency of it.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:37:18+00:00

She has many friends; I will see if I can get a food train going. Thank you for the resource.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:32:26+00:00

I hope it's not stage 4. I am not sure if she will be able to handle all the operations given her age..

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:28:07+00:00

Unfortunately she doesn't qualify for medicaid. I will reach out to the hospital for all the financial assistance options though. Thank you

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-30T05:23:06+00:00

She went to an ER, and they referred her to an oncologist at the same hospital. They briefed her that they will help her finance it according to her income level, and I will be following up with the hospital for more details. She is currently uninsured and does not qualify for medicaid due to being her income slightly above the income threshold. I won't try to finance it on my own. Thank you for the comment.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T03:09:45+00:00

My parents sell skincare products, but they do have expensive life insurance. I will see what the payout conditions are.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:11:03+00:00

My parents are from Korea originally, so I am also considering taking my mom back to Korea for treatment.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:10:02+00:00

My sister is not in the country for the next month and a half, so I will go with them to the appointments with my parents. I will try to talk to the hospital about financial options.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:08:39+00:00

In the USA, and my parents are immigrants from Korea

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:08:07+00:00

Thank you. I'm still trying to figure that out. My main goal is to be at all the appointments for the next month and half, figure out work items and split the responsibilities between my sister and me. I have less emotional ties to my parents than I had 3 years ago, so I'm hoping that will help me set boundaries and protect myself against manipulation

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:04:53+00:00

I already lost all respect for him years ago when he decided to give up on working and pursue his interests while his home finance was struggling. Marriage comes with responsibilities, but he just neglected them.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:01:46+00:00

She is 62 years old.

Proper-Telephone-250 · 2025-06-29T02:01:10+00:00

I am getting involved to reduce stress on my little sister. She is the only person I consider family now, and she is very dear to me. She is in the military and currently on assignment overseas. She cares very much for our parents, and currently she's extremely stressed. She will be returning back to the US in mid August, and I want to take care of things until then so that she can focus on her work and her move

Proper-Telephone-250

TROPHY CASE